by magotan 125 Replies latest jw experiences
STAY STRONG. I am sorry this is so painful, but also so proud of you for being true to who you are.
In this time they might say some horribly shitty things to you. Remember that NONE OF IT is true. Its just their fear, their intense phobias. It will be good if you can manage it to not take anything they say or do too hard. Things could change in the future.
You could keep checking in here if you need support.
Don't be made to feel guilty about the choices other people make. If your dad is stepping down as an elder that is his choice. Sexuality is not a choice nor can it be pushed aside by reading a few articles, praying a bit more and going to meetings. Your family has behaved according to cult programming, that is denial of anything that does not fit with their paradigm.
You have faced your fears Kudos to you. We all hope that our family will be different sadly in the early days they can be all too predictable. Start surrounding yourself with true friends and people who love and accept you for who you are not what you believe. Time changes things for us all.
I am so sorry for your pain!
This is what I said
"Dear Facebook Friends.
I realize that most of my witness and those religious friends friends will defriend me and I am hereby starting an inquiry into my character, but
I am gay. I have been gay for quite some time, and I am tired of hiding it.
If we remain friends, maybe our relationship will deepen. If we don't, I understand totally."
~60 likes.
Some of the FB messages from JW's.
"Hey we still love you bro. Appreciate others concern for you but dont listen the worldly views in those comments man. I know you know that. But just remember to pray to Jehovah to help you to sort things out. - And quite honestly I don't think you're gay man. You might think you are because you may be attracted to guys but one of the Awakes helped us to appreciate that that's all linked to hormonal changes within our bodies that makes us feel that way. This happens in our age range and some witnesses think they're gay because of it but that's not always the case. But just pray to Jehovah about it which I already know you will."
"Hey Magotan. I saw your facebook status this morning and was curious if you were serious or if you were hacked? let me know friend."
"Hey Magotan, how're you doing brother? I noticed your post on Facebook and desired to ask how you were handling your feelings and the way others may have reacted to your declaration? I hope everything is well with you and your family. As a friend, I wanted to share an encouraging article with you from the JW site: http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/teenagers/ask/pressure-to-be-gay/. I want you to know that I'm praying for you as I do for all my friends, and that I'm here if you ever need somebody to talk to."
"Hey hun let me.know if you need me and yes i still love you veryvery much"
"Are you gonna talk to the brothers about this? Are you even going to stay a witness?"
"Magotan, I just seen your status, But you are not gay, there is no such thing, you know that, please pray tho Jah about your weakness, it is not worth dying and being dead forever, there are plenty of people in Jehovah's organization that has these tendencies and are doing well in fighting them and keeping it at bay, they know in the New World Jehovah will fix this, They are doing well, they didnt give in,, PLEEEEAAASSEEE Pray and get help from the elders, Jehovah want you to come to him about your problem and He is willing to forgive if you did something and be merciful, But dont Give in,,dont give in,, I love you so much,, Please Pray, And seek help, Live forever!!!!"
" would never judge someone for a feeling they have. We're all imperfect. Jehovah knows we're imperfect. That's why he's patient with us. It's our action that counts. What we do. I just want you to know I still care about you as a friend. Jehovah still cares about you as a person. I just hope you make the right decision in the end.... I'll keep you in my prayers"
One message was supportive, only one. From a chick that I had maybe one conversation with.
oooooooooooooooh my word! How deluded are these people!!! No such thing as gay!
Magotan - know that you are loved from afar - don't know you but in a way I do. When I was in that faith I had a friend that I suspected was gay (I have great gaydar) and I remember a time his sexuality was questioned and he got so upset. We had such a lovely conversation and I mentioned in passing that I could never judge someone on his sexuality (I was already doubting the faith then) I left the faith before he did. A couple of years he phoned me and came out to me. We cried, we hugged, we met and had coffee. I told him how much I loved him and how happy I was that he could be true to himself. He has found such a nice guy and they have been together for 6 years or so - he is so happy.
You will be so happy too.
WOW.
That is such bullshit in those messages. You should ignore them, or use them as proof of how good it is that you left. They really dont understand what being gay means. You will find people that understand you in your life, I promise. If you are not in a major city please try to get to one. You need to go somewhere that is very gay positive and take advantage of the resources and support. For example, San Francisco has an LGBTsupport center. I bet NYC and Chicago have something similar.
Please take care of yourself. You need to know there is nothing wrong with you. You need to talk to people who have been through this.
~61 likes.
You are a man, and now you can live as one, head held high. After they get over the shock, I think your brothers will come around. Wow, what a lot of brothers. I imagine dad will be watching them like a hawk now. Sucks to be them.
Have you got in touch with a gay support group? Transition can be tough and they have great tips to get through it.
Wishing you blessings and peace, dear Magotan, during this difficult time.
We older, injured-recovering ones can relate perfectly to your ordeal and wish to help, though from afar.
Love,
CoCo
Hang in there .
Yes it is a cult . Your families conduct proves it .
mag,
Dude, you are one of the bravest people on Earth! You just let it rip, and laid yourself wide open. I am proud of you for being true to yourself!
You have also opened yourself to finding real, unconditional friends. You are in the process of "thinning the herd." I have been out for a while now, and I may have less friends than I used to, but they are unconditional. My core support is always there for me. Even when we can't communicate because of personal circumstances and distance, I know they love and care about me.
You are going to need support. I lost all of my family except one, when I was DFed. It has been painful, but in the end it was worth it.
Keep posting, venting, and lean on friends and your support groups to help you through this transitional period.
And if you can do it, try to get some counseling professionally. If you can find someone with experience with exit counseling from cults, that will help you immensely.
Best of luck on your great adventure! PM me anytime if you need to talk, I will give you my contact information.
zed
