my worst fears were realized

by magotan 125 Replies latest jw experiences

  • magotan
    magotan

    I told my family, and I came out on Facebook literally at about the same time. I also expressed the fact that I couldn't go to the meetings or be a JW in good consience. When I told them things such as the UN scandal, Candace Conti, 1914, they told me they were apostate lies and that they would tolerate no rivalry to Jehovah. I was accused of being twisted and corrupt. I was told I'm not really gay because I'm not having sex. I needed to fight harder. My suicide thoughts were irrelevant. I was told to read the articles about homosexuality (particularlly the newest one). I guess they were a bit upset when I told them I found those articles insulting.

    In 24 hours

    - Everyone I knew as a JW has said their goodbyes.

    - My family has disowned me.

    - I was put out from my house. (However, I did find a roommate, so maybe it's not so bad)

    - I found out that one of my friends has stronger doubts than I did, we started talking a lot more.

    - Since I came out on FB, I have been labeled bad association. Even by some miracle I decide to stay, my reputation is ruined.

    - My dad is stepping down as an elder, and it's my fault. "He's not talking care of home".

    I've been made to feel like their disaster is my fault. And I feel horrible. Yet powerful.

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    Wow, that is just awful. That's a big bomb to drop on you in that short of a period of time.

  • Borges
    Borges

    magotan - you are powerfull indeed. And you will become more powerfull with every day you'll live outside the cult. It's painfull, it hurts, sometimes it brings you to the edge of your physicall and mental habilities. But the power of reason will be at your hand as long as you don't let it go.

  • Knowsnothing
    Knowsnothing

    I just wanted to say you are brave, and to hang in there. You can now begin to adjust to real life. Good thing Is you found a room mate.

  • lisaBObeesa
    lisaBObeesa
    - My dad is stepping down as an elder, and it's my fault. "He's not talking care of home".
    I've been made to feel like their disaster is my fault.

    YOUR disaster is THEIR fault and their own disaster is also THEIR FAULT. THEY picked this hateful judegmental cult and the cult is messing up their lives (AND yours).

    I'm really sorry this has happened to you. ...don't take on any guilt on top of it all.... You know you have done nothing wrong. You have done nothing wrong. You told the TRUTH. They are the ones who should own all the guilt. They won't own their guilt, but don't let them push it off on to you.

  • finally awake
    finally awake

    I'm proud of you for being honest. It's hard, and you have a lot of changes to get used to, but you can hold your head high and know that you are free. Good luck!

  • RobertT18
    RobertT18

    If God is love how can your own family and friends possibly turn your back on you? Clearly they don't know what love is. Stay strong, things will get better.

  • lisaBObeesa
    lisaBObeesa

    A long fade would have been pretty difficult and very stressful... Congratulations on being free and never having to hide who you are or what you believe again!

  • akafreelife
    akafreelife

    Magotan it was a real privilege to meet you yestereday. Keep your head up friend. You are a smart young man who is just now stepping into the world of what is right for you. There will be trials ahead but keep strong and keep your head held high. You have shown great courage to walk away form the strong doubts and the hypocrisy of the jws. There is a light at the end of this tunnel it may seem distant but it is there. You have a full life ahead of you and deserve nothing but the best. Remember you can call or text me and i will try to listen to you.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    You are powerful - you have taken control of your life. Yes people will disown you and that's gonna suck BUT you are the master of your own destiny, you can be true to yourself. The rest of the adults can take care of themselves - they're big enough.

    Good on you. So proud *hugs*

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