magotan - I want to leave, but I don't know how. I have a decent job, but because moving out is strongly discouraged, I fear I will have to DA - and lose everyone I know will never talk to me again.
Welcome magotan, Being gay is a lot better than living life as a JW or living a lie. What type of research have you been doing about the WTBTS? What books have you be reading? Have you read non-WTBTS approved books or articles? What type of job are working at?
You are nineteen so make a plan to help yourself fade and start living the rest of your life. I would recommend that you read Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visit Steve Hassan's website, get a better education that will qualify you for a job that you love, make new non-JW friends, post about your feelings often on JWN, and ask for advice on JWN about fading. If you own a Kindle, you can purchase "Freedom of Mind" on Amazon.com as an e-book, so that family will not know that you are reading his books.
Best of Wishes for you and hopefully for you maintaining your family relationships and friendships.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,