Need advice. My inactive jw husband has been lured back.

by ingimar 93 Replies latest social relationships

  • Balaamsass

    Welcome. I hope your surgery went well and you recover quickly.

    About hubby.

    Being a GOOD JW is a LOT of HARD work. When he comes home from days away at work don't make it unpleasant for him. 2 hours before the evening meeting make a heavy starchy dinner with his favorite beer or wine, put on a great DVD......he WILL miss meetings. When he goes...don't get upset...tell him you missed him and were lonely.

    Have him read Wikapedia and NEWSPAPER articles about JWS. Watchtower Documents website is all JW articles. Have him read some of your RESEARCH. Ask the JW elders if PRe-marital sex is a disfellowshipping offfense....but make no other comment. Kill him with kindness and doubts.

    Set up a GOOGLE alert to his email for "Jehovah's Witnesses" and Watchtower Society" he will get some very interesting newspaper stories over time.

    If he wants to JUST read the Bible ...encourage it.

    Don't allow yourself to be viewed as an enemy.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman


    You are having quite a month. How did your surgery go? I hope everything is fine, and you are getting your rest. Looking forward to your next posts.

    Just Lois


    Ohh My goodness ..I am having the same problem: I was raised J/W...both my husband and I have been inactive for over 10 years: cannot remember the last Memorial I attended: Suddenly last Sunday my husband walks into the family room, dressed in J/W attire and says he's going to the meeting! I didnt think anything of it until tonight ...he did it again... Damn Im mad!

    In my case this could be the last straw : my only concern is my family members who live far away from me do not know im inactive. and if I kick him to the curb they will know the reason: So it means losing ALL family:

    I am so sick of this organization raising Hell in so many peoples lives!

  • notjustyet

    Hey lottalola,..

    Sorry to hear that about your husband.

    Did you and the hubby do any research about the history, inner workings to of the WTBTS while you we're out?

    If not, en I would try to fast track some research such as , Captives of a Concept by Don Cameron, Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan, Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz

    They are well worth the money in my opinion.

    And of course you may already know about these but thought they were worth mentioning.

    He's being love bombed really heavy right now.


  • ingimar
    ingimar was postponed last minute as I failed the pre op which has led to other health concerns

    I have been reading Steven Hassan's " Combatting Cult Mind Control" and I am niw totally convinced that the JW's are a cult. I have had to put the book away for a week though asmy husband is home from work and it is best that he not see me reading it yet. My husband has not attended the hall since my last post because he was away at work for two Sundays but did stay home with me as I was upset about the cancelled surgery.

    I apologized to him for over reacting and saying some hurtful things ti him. He apologized as well. I have let him know that I am researchinghis faith but that in order to come to a conclusion about it, I cannot and will not form a conclusion by viewing and reading only JW approved literature and websites, but that I will form my opinion by viewing all relevant info from all sides. I have also made it clear that I will form my opinion on my own and that he will be the one to answer my questions, not somebody frim the hall.

    Seems to be going okay but I suspect that he will attend the Hall this Sunday.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi ingimar, I'm sorry about your health issues.

    Take it slow with your husband. If you have the energy, make friends with non-JWs, who your husdand shares similiar interests, and plan fun outings that your husband will enjoy that may interfere slightly with him attending meetings. If your husband wants to go to WTBTS conventions, make reservations in hotels that are not on the WTBTS's recommended list that have nicer accomodations for the same or lower price that you would enjoy staying at.

    Also, encourage your husband to join you in Bible studies without using WTBTS pamphlets. Although I would recommend reading the NT before reading the OT, you should ask for suggestions from JWN members about which scriptures to read and what simple questions would require your husband to use his brain. Good-luck!

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • jgnat

    Lottalola and ingimar, it sounds like both of you have a good handle of the situation. Ingimar, I get the sense you are smart and savvy, and that if your husband can be persuaded, you will do it.

    Lottalola, you know best. Funny that this came out of the blue. Would he confide in you his sudden interest?

  • ingimar

    Thanks Robert. Good advice about the bible study without the WT influence as he insists that his beliefs stem from what the bible actually says. I would love some guidance from JWN members on what scriptures to start with and some simple questions that I can ask. My husband knows that I an very scriptually challenged, although I have told him that I have learned a lot while I have been researching his beliefs, but he will be suspect if I immediately start with a seemingly rehearsed snd indepth question. I need him to think that he is dealing with a newbie who is completely ignorant of biblical scriptures. I must keep it basic and simple....HELP!

  • jgnat

    I'll give you a technique rather than rehearsed scriptures. Witnesses bounce around the bible verses as if the bible were a reference manual. It's not.

    All you have to do is ask to do a study of a particular chapter or a particular book. Stick to the new testament to start. The book of John is good, as is Hebrews. Witnesses barely ever quote from the book of John. Hebrews is all about the divinity of Christ.

    Any time you come across a promise, ask if it is for any reader, or only a select few. Based on the context of the scripture itself, how can the reader tell that the promise is limited?

    You could prepare ahead of time by reading an online commentary to get the general context of the book, something Witnesses rarely look in to.

    The foot-washing ceremony. Why don't Witnesses honor it today? (John 13:1-17)

    How do Witnesses care for the practical needs of widows and orphans today? (Acts 6 & 7) Was Stephen's service any less spiritual than that of his brothers?

    The stranger performing miracles in Jesus' name (Mark 9:39-40) Who might be doing Jesus' work today who is "not of us"? Is he approved of God?

    Any time angels or others worship Jesus, ask if it is proper or right to worship one who is not God?

    Study the parable of the ten virgins (Matthew 25) and discuss how we might be examples today. Follow up with the parable of the faithful and discreet slave (Matthew 24). Ask why one is a parable and the other a prophecy? This is a bit of a setup, as Matthew 24:45 is the keytext that the WTS uses to rule over ("serve") the household of Christ.

  • ingimar

    I am having a hard time accepting that suddenly I am no longer the most important thing in my husband's life. He has confirmed that his faith is the most important thing. We always promised each other that our relationship and our marriage would be number one to both of us. He went to the Hall again yesterday. How is it possible to share a life with someone when your core beliefs are so opposing? I have come to the conclusion that I will not put 110% into a relationship while he puts 110% into a cult and just coasts with our marriage. These are my thoughts today anyways.

Share this