Need advice. My inactive jw husband has been lured back. (page 8)

ingimar

I am going to really try to not be confrontational with him. He is due home tomorrow and I am not going to say anything. In a couple of days I will ask him a question pertaining to his faith. I haven't determined what I should ask him first but I am going to have all my facts before asking. Any thoughts on what should be my first topic of discussion?

I am scheduled for major surgery next week too and and I know that he is very concerned about me. Perhaps me being laid up and needing him will make him think independantly about us and "them". As a sidenote, the doctor is very aware that he is JW and not to be consulted in the event that I require blood.

ABibleStudent

How about why you will accept a blood transfusion and he won't? Ever wonder why Jews except blood transfusions and JWs don't? Have you ever asked a Jew, "Why do Jews accept blood transfusions?" since both Jews and JWs are following the Old Testiment as far as the sacredness of blood?

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

jgnat

Tough week. Yes, bringing one topic up is good. It is best to bring up something that matters to him. What part of his personality would chafe at the WT doctrine? For one thing, I bet he considers himself to be a better judge of marriage material than the WTS. You might simply compliment him on his great judgement when he met you.

You could follow up with whether he would ever give away his natural judgement to a committee of men (elders)?

perfect1

You need to toughen up and face this directly, do you really want to be married to someone you have treat like a spookable deer ? Fight for your husband, fight hard, and if you lose you have to move on.

In this neck of the woods, it would be described as how to approach a deer. It is easily spooked, we know that. Put out a salt lick and sit quietly.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS ADVICE!

While I appreciate Hassans way of talking about the cult and natural personality, if it were that easy all of us shunned ones could just ask our families about their hobbies and be fine. Thats not what the JWs allow. They are intolerant.

jgnat

Hey, perfect1, I go with what works. If speaking frankly with your family, with full outrage and fear on display has worked for you, please share.

moshe

Fact is, people have the right to be a JW and to believe it is the Truth. Using manipulations and mind tricks to keep someone from the KH could very well be a short term solution and then later they head back to the KH anyway- that is very likely to happen right after children are born and they want them to be JWs and not go to a church.

If people want to be JWs and you don't want to live with one, then each go your own way. We have people show up here all the time who are dating inactive or weak JWs and ask about the JWs and the Watchtower dogmas-- the general advice given is to NOT marry a JW or you will just be setting yourself up for grief-especially so, if their family are all JWs.

Human nature is to avoid confrontation, but taking this avenue means you give the high ground to the JWs and the Kingdom Hall. .

perfect1

OK, why whitewash it, unbelieving mate is just a euphemism for dead meat at Armageddon.

jgnat

Geez, I don't understand why you guys think I'm being soft about this. I am speaking from twelve years of experience being with my JW. Unlike the shunned, I wander in his world and I am treated fairly nicely. We all know it is a sham, but the truth is, I am speaking to my JW every day. I know what works and what doesn't.

Another factor I have in common with the OP is my husband is generally a mild and decent man; would have been with or without the society's influence.

I do know my JW is more himself than he has ever been. For reasons of privacy, I won't mention how FEW meetings he has attended in the last year.

I'll count my example as a cautious success. He's not completely out yet.

perfect1

It is a point of doctrinal inconsitency - a loophole that allows the JW to be married to an unbeliever- with some demotion spiritually but not excommunication. In JW theology, the worldy mate is a temporary disgrace which can be allowed since in the New System that bond will be broken. Unbelieving Mothers, Fathers, Sons and Daughters are so shameful they must thoroughly expunged, since they are truly capable of corrupting influence.

perfect1

The point is Ingimar, fight!

If you are the a JW wife with a JW husband, you are a second class citizen. A an unbelieving wife of a JW husband- not a citizen at all. Temporary.

Need advice. My inactive jw husband has been lured back.

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