Need advice. My inactive jw husband has been lured back.

by ingimar 93 Replies latest social relationships

  • ruderedhead

    Please don't give up yet, ingimar. I think you are probably tired with your health concerns, and don't have the energy you need right now to fight this religion. Take care of your health first, that is most important. You may need to move slower than you want with your husband, but please don't stop trying yet. You have received many good suggestions on here, along with information on resources (websites, books, etc.) that will provide you with the tools/facts you need in your conversations with your husband. He has been brainwashed, and that is a difficult thing to fight. At least his work keeps him away from the hall a bit. I hope you have a full return to good health soon. Take care of yourself first.

  • moshe

    It will be smart for you to have an exit strategy. Even a doctor knows when medical treatment isn't going to work and it's time to tell the family to call the funeral home and pick out a casket. Personally, I think your marriage is probably going to fizzle out soon, it's just that neither you nor your husband has the guts to make the first move to end it.

  • ABibleStudent

    ingimar - . . . He went to the Hall again yesterday. How is it possible to share a life with someone when your core beliefs are so opposing? I have come to the conclusion that I will not put 110% into a relationship while he puts 110% into a cult and just coasts with our marriage. These are my thoughts today anyways.

    Hugs ((((((((ingimar))))))).

    I would like to say that you will feel better and not worse, but I cannot guarantee that you will. Please remember that your husband has two personas in one body. One is the authentic persona that loves you and your love. The other is the Cult persona that is insecure and wants to blindly follow the WTBTS.

    Post about your feelings as much as possible because you will be riding a rollercoaster of feelings until your husband awakens. I would really recommend if you have enough money to contact Steve Hassan through his website and talk about your feelings to him, or at the least read one of his books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", or (his latest) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs").

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • jgnat

    If it is any consolation, putting the organization first is cult-talk, not your natural man.

    From the perspective of a Jehovah's Witness, the ideal marriage is a triangle or a three-fold cord. In the triangle, the husband and wife are on two sides and God (Jehovah) is at the top. For the three-fold cord, it is husband, wife, and you guessed it, Jehovah.

    You can challenge your hubby in this by asking him to pray with you about a crisis (such as your health issues), and thanking him afterwards. When my hubby has done this, he has never bucked up the courage to pray out loud.

    You see, you are challenging the Witness notion that "unbelieving mates" are mis-matched and godless.

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