Armegedon always made me doubt. I also didn't understand the flood or why Jesus died for all of our sins.
Your earliest doubt?
by Apognophos 92 Replies latest jw experiences
To be perfectly honest, my first doubt about the religion was their magazines. I wouldn't even touch one for a whole year. I would only accept the bible.
Second to that, their disdain for secular work had me shaking my head wondering if these idiots thought money grew on trees. I was viewed suspiciously because I work full-time. Everything was pretty much downhill after this. The rude awakenings came one after another. Too bad I didn't go with my gut early on and walk out sooner.
I was maybe 7 or 8 and we were driving all over town in our car on a Saturday for field service and I remembered a scripture that said " God will destroy those that destroy the earth". And I asked my mom if that includes us since we were creating so much pollution by driving all over town.
My mom said " good question...." but did not answer me.
I was about 12 and studying the reformation in my history class, the lesson discussed how modern day religions had lasted through the religious crusades to how we know them today. My question was that if jws were the one true religion that had its history back in early Christianity (and some would even argue existence before then), where were they during the reformation and why and how did they only spring up in the ninteeth century? That was my constant lingering doubt about the authenticity of jws
That T-rex ate leaves.
Scarred for life
I don't know exactly what age. But I'm going to say 7. My father's family were not JWs. But I never believed that those grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and all my friends in my neighborhood and school were going to die at Armageddon. That just made no sense to me. I couldn't accept that.
When the couple knocked on the door back in '76 the husband did all the talking while his wife gazed at nothing in particular. I thought that was a red flag. I even asked if she could talk.
Then a few weeks later on an RV he was filling us in on the 'elder arrangement' and HE was an elder. As he said this I actually saw his chest expand.
My earliest doubt was when I was a teen, I only wished I had paid closer attention to it. Around 1984 to 1986, I attened the Durant, Okahoma congeration. I was treated like I had something that no one else wanted to catch. The witnesses who belonged to that congeration, treated me like an outsider. I was in high school at the time, and had no friends either in school or in the congeration. I was treated so bad that I actually tried, and nearly succeded in commiting sucide. My own mother had her own problems, with dealing with cancer as well at that time. I was not yet baptized.
Then history repeated itself when I was just married to my husband. I moved to where he was living, and that congeration is Carthage, Missouri. Shorty after I was married, the C.O. and his wife (who was a total bitch) came for their visit. I had briefly met this woman at another congeration, but she did not know that I had just gotten married. Instead of saying what ever, she walked up to me and rudely asked me, "What are you doing here?" Then she went on to say, "You need to quit looking for a single brother and just go back to were you came from." It was at that time my husband heard what was going on, and it pissed him off, and he yelled at her and told her to back the HELL OFF, that is my wife you are speaking to. Yes he actually said those exact words.
While I was attending that congeration I was again treated like an outsider, someone to be avoided.
It was at that point those doubts started to make me think about those people and that religion. They say we are a brotherhood, and talk about love among the brothers.
The final straw was when that same "love" was shown to my son, that was when I decided to research them.
Wow, I feel kind of dumb - many of you had it figured out even before you hit puberty! I chose it as an adult --- now I feel even dumber.
The very first thing that told me loudly that this is a high-control cult and uh-oh, watkins, you've made a huge mistake was: my witness friend a told me about the wt's 'bedroom rules' for married couples - what is and what's not 'acceptable'. I could hardly believe it, but then I researched the old mags. Really?! - no one is going to tell me what's okay in my own home, in my own bed, with my own husband!
That was my first doubt about wt's credibility and crazy control issues.
From then on I had my guard up and my eyes and ears open. When a non-jw relative told me she'd heard about wt pedophiles on the news I had to investigate that - on the internet - where I also discovered the UN NGO thing, and then I was so done.
That was the end for me and I never went back to one meeting. I'm beginning to feel quite brilliant again, lol!
Wow, that was some story about what that CO's wife had the nerve to say to you! Thankfully, your husband had the balls to tell her off.
Yes, the hateful attitude in this religion towards single women is something I could never get over.