by El_Guapo 119 Replies latest jw friends
The assertive "broken record" technique Jgnat demonstrated above can be very effective.
You don't argue the manipulative with person's premise.
You agree hypothetically but stick to your position.
Elder: "Armageddon is coming any day. If you resign now, Jehovah might not consider you worthy to survive."
You: "That would certainly be tragic, but I've decided to resign."
Elder: "But why would you do such a thing?"
You: "I appreciate your concern, but I've decided to resign."
Welcome along, great to have you with us. Rest up, and enjoy life.....
Yeah, I need to stand my ground. (easier said than done) That's why I was thinking of writing a letter instead of meeting with the elders but that's just delaying the inevitable. Another thought that I had was telling the elders that I was going to go away for a couple months, and just fade. I have to remind myself that when they try to "help" be asking me to continue to work or try the 6 months off, they are just think about the extra work they will now have to do. Another thing, 10 yrs is a long time to be an M.S. I was told once that "maybe" I'll be an elder someday, but never happend. I had no idea that there would be a 2 elder comittee after I resign. I know I can't have it both ways, but I don't see the love at all. For example (the straw that broke the camels back): A good friend of my started doing crystal meth to the point that his wife kicked him out and he entered a drug rehab program to try to get his life back. An elder asked me if I had talked to my buddy (knowing that he and I are good friends) I said not but I was planning on going to see that that weekend. He said don't we have a judicial committe on hold currently once he gets clean we need to talk to him. REALLY!!!! Where's that Christian love that the poor guy needs at that very moment.
LOL!! I bet he can FEEL THE XTIAN LOVE!
That's typical. They are just "Spiritual" Judge, Jury and Executioner. Any way you can just move somewhere else and never say another word to them? The best fade there is: The move fade.
You won't find real love, just initial love bombling when you first start and maybe some small flecks of caring here and there, followed by endless legalism and do more or get cold shoulder. When you take your two months off be sure to read Ray Franz's book Crisis of Conscience. This was such an eye opener for me. After reading it many things that perplexed me over the years all made sense as to the why. You'll see just how things are done in the governing body meetings, and that there is no direction by holy spirit let alone appointment by it.
You could always go have enough fun to get yourself removed by them... They make the EXACT same announcement.
Hey, when you resign, you can go visit your buddy! Show some great brotherly love.
Welcome to JWN. Balter is right, you have a good out. Work it, work it, work it.
EL_GUAPO- Welcome to the board my friend ! Nice to have you here . Yeah, after reading of your situation and reading others posts I think it's a great idea to step down as a servant, you know- your health is sO much more important and peace of mind than slaving for elders who are using you as a horse to whip with a horsewhip. You are right- they DO NOT promote love in congregations and you are there to just serve in a " function " for the WT Society . I'm glad you are making this decision. You will feel better believe me. We are here for you as a support system, remember. Hang in there kiddo, take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
El Guapo, you've gotten lots and lots of great suggestions here. We know it's hard to just suddenly change your life habits overnight, but trust us: once you make these changes and assert control of your own life you'll wonder why you were fearful and delayed.
We were there, we get it. But we did it and you can do it to.
I really like the idea of jgnat's "broken record" technique. It might help you to take a look at the underlying principle behind it, the psychological principles which make it hard for you to do it now, but will give you the personal power to do it when understood and internalized.
Check out this thread. I think you'll find it helpful:
