worn out ministerial servant!

by El_Guapo 119 Replies latest jw friends

  • sir82
    letting them know that I am stepping down. I'm not exactly sure how to do this. Do I just verbally say it, or write a letter?

    Be very very VERY careful.

    Be prepared for multiple, insistent and outrageously nosy questions and unrelenting pressure to recant your resignation.

    They will also undoubtedly offer to "lighten your load for a time" so that you can continue to serve as an MS.

    Finally, even if you manage to stand your ground, it is very likely that they won't accept your resignation until the CO's next visit.

    Any hint of "apostate" thoughts during those multiple, insistent, and outrageously nosy interrogation sessions will be met with quick judicial action.

    It's fine to step down, but make sure you have a plan and stick to it.

    Practice deflecting questions and saying "I'd really rather not talk about it right now." Be ready to just shut up before saying too much.

  • El_Guapo

    silly me....

    I thought being an M.S. was a voluntary position. and I could just step down. My service hours have really dipped in the past couple months from 20-22 to about 4-5 hrs. Still no one has mentioned it to me even though I am sure they have noticed it. I've been praying because I am really confused, I grew up a JW my 2 siters and brother are all regular pioneers. It's all I know. I've made up my mind after sooooo many years of being a yes-man. I am done! I need break re-examine my sitatution and proceed.

  • LostGeneration
    One elder told me, I noticed you missed a lot of meetings. You know that is a requirement for brothers who are M.S.'s or Elders to be regular. unless you are in the hospital or dying we shouldn't miss meetings. My meeting is Friday night, and I am planning on speaking to a few elders and letting them know that I am stepping down.

    Golden opportunity here, if this is exactly what he said.

    Use his words against him.

    You are sick, you cannot be relied upon to be regular, so its best for your health that you step down.

    Emphasize each and every time it is YOUR HEALTH that you are trying to improve, without mentioning your problems with the religion. Be polite, but FIRM.

    Simply state you are stepping down. The second they push back, point to your HEALTH again and state you aren't here to negotiate.


  • LostGeneration

    You are right that it is a VOLUNTARY position, just don't expect the elders to view it that way!

    They are used to dumping on you from what I can see. The second you stand up to them, they won't like it a bit. But you can tactically remind them that it is a VOLUNTEER position, and there really isn't anything they can say from the bible to make it otherwise.

  • nochoice

    And just to add to the last few comments about sticking to your guns, keep in mind that the first thing your body of elders are going to think is, "who are we going to get to do what El Guapo is doing now?" Your stepping down means more work for them. They will not give up on you that easily. You are a valuable free employee and they don't have a lot of applicants looking to take your job!

    The elder that will be the most relentless on you will most likely be the one you directly assist, since your jobs will fall back on him. He will also have a stake in changing your mind because it will reflect negatively on him that his assitant bowed out.

    I agree that health should be the tactic. Do whatever you can to look sick! Speak to them like you're going to die. Hunch over. Shake a bit like you're overwhelmed when they start to push a little. Seriously!

  • 00DAD

    Welcome, come on in and relax!

    Take a break from the hamster-wheel of JW life.

    Life as a JW


  • tootired2care

    When I stepped down I just called my overseer up and said, brother jackass I'm letting you know that I am stepping down as an MS. They will ask why just make up some BS (health and mental issues are the best) that won't get you labeled an apostate. They will assign a committee of two brothers to meet with you, keep your story constant and straight. The key for me was to be firm. They will try to offer you 6 months off, or diminished capacity etc., don't take it. The branch will need to approve your stepping down, this can take months. This is the hard part, every midweek meeting you go to, you'll be wondering when they will announce it.

    The other way is to just quit cold turkey, just stop going, don't respond to any phone calls or feel guilty about being a no show on your assignments.

  • cofty

    Your health come first, use it as a reason to take a step right back from the helter-skelter of activity.

    Once you get a break for a few weeks you will soon see how vacuous it all is.

  • jgnat

    Might I suggest you prepare to use the broken record assertiveness technique. No matter what is thrown at you, reply with the same answer,

    "I understand but I have decided not to serve."

    "I appreciate what you are saying but I have decided not to serve."

    "That is good to know but I have decided not to serve."

    The other party eventually exhausts all angles, and you have stood by your message.


    As an aside, please do all you can to get your sugars under control. You know the drill. Portion control. Eat like clockwork, never skip.

  • Most Noble
    Most Noble

    So Many great suggestions here, I am very happy for the decision you will be making for the future, I wish I had the gut to also resign on health grounds.

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