I finished my last post by relating what I said to mum why I chose to DA:
“The reason that I chose to DA rather than just be inactive is because to do otherwise would mean that I would be living a lie. People would know me as a JW, JWs would consider me to be a JW while I did not consider my beliefs to align with them. Honesty comes at great cost in the organisation. Further to that, it is my firm belief that there is no scriptural basis for cutting off people who disassociate. The word and the situation are quite simply not in the bible. Again it is an arbitrary rule made up by the organisation.”
I thought, well, this is either going to make her run for the hills, or stick around and continue talking.
Thankfully, we kept talking.
In reply, she said “Thank you for stating it clearly. I am so proud of you for not living a lie, but yes honesty does come at a price. You know what is expected of JWs when it comes to those who DA or are DF’d so why were you surprised when I said I would not keep contact?”
I had been hoping she would ask me this, because I knew this was where I would have my best chance to maybe help her to see that the WTS is all about mans rules, and not about love and taking direction from the bible. I thought that if I could get her to see that there is no basis for the rule about how to treat DA people, it might be a little chip off the wall that could lead to other things falling down.
Rather than answering her I decided to see if I could get her to reason on the matter herself. I said “It used to be that people who DA'd were just treated like normal people. Like any other person that was not a JW. Then without explanation the rules were changed to be that DF and DA people were to be treated the same. Again, no scriptural basis. "It is this way because we say it is.”
I had mentioned this before in a separate conversation, and she said that she had been looking for the reference where the rule had changed but had been unable to find it. She said that she had done a lot of research on the question but could not find where she put it. I told her where the reference was and quoted it for her. She asked “So that is where the change is, but does it say why?” I said that the article gives no reason. There is no scriptural backing given for their stance. It was an arbitrary change based on nothing.
I decided to rephrase things “You have said quite a few times that cutting off someone who is DA is showing loyalty to Jehovah. Where in the bible does Jehovah say that those who DA must be cut off?”
Her answer was interesting “It doesn’t. It just says it is the same, but I can’t find the magazine that shed light on it.” She was trying to do what most JWs do and fall back on the magazines for answers so I said outright “I'm talking about the bible, not the magazines. What does the bible really teach? Nothing at all about how to treat DA people.” She had another go “I mean that it is the same in the eyes of the organisation at the moment and until I see otherwise I have to obey Jehovah. The magazine has other scriptural references.” So I said it straight again “I would love to hear what the bible says about it, not a cut and paste from a magazine. Mum trust me I have researched the poop out of this too. No matter how it is stretched the bible is silent on how to treat people who DA.”
She just said “Yes, I can see that you have done your research on this.”
I pressed on “I can't see how it would be disloyal to Jehovah to chat and have a good healthy spiritual discussion with your son. By iron, iron is sharpened. Christian unity proves itself genuine when differences of viewpoint exist but the people holding the differing view don't allow it to divide them.”
Again, she gave an interesting reply “That is exactly why I am talking to you now!” I said “ This is what I love, talking about the bible and learning. I love talking with you about stuff. Our differing beliefs are in my opinion no reason to stop talking to one another. In fact it should be a reason for us to talk more! That is how is was done in the first century. There was no formulaic process to their gatherings, they sat around and talked. I believe we are all part of a spiritual family. A bunch of people doing the best they can with what they have. Surely Jesus won't destroy someone simply for following his advice to keep on knocking?
I appreciate very much that you are here talking knowing how you feel. I hope we can continue to do so.”
Her reply gave me some hope. She said that she will be back in touch but also asked me to not be offended if she did not reply to everything I send her. I said ” I know that and respect that. I just need to know that there will not be no contact. I will still email you and text like normal, because from my point of view nothing has changed. I love you and nothing will ever change that. ”
Her response was simple: “Ditto”
So that is where we finished. Somewhere in there I also shared the article from the old 1952 magazine saying that DFing was pagan. She hadn’t heard that one before, and thought it was most interesting. I’m kicking myself though because I forgot to mention my favourite killer verse: Luke 21:8.
Oh well, maybe I will get another chance.
Who knows?
