The New Diary of Winston Smith

by WinstonSmith 336 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Listener
    Listener

    The prosecutor’s office said that analyses by linguistic experts had concluded that the brochures contained propaganda that promoted the superiority of the Jehovah’s Witnesses and denigrated other faiths as false.

    Russia may have another agenda for the bans they impose on the JWs but there is no exageration in this statement.

  • WinstonSmith
    WinstonSmith

    Hello Listener, I agree, there is a lot of truth in that statement. It reminded me of those news reports from a few months (from Europe somewhere) where the JWs were accused of hate speech due to what was said at a convention (?) about apostates and other religions.

    In other news, I had an out of the blue message and text chat with mum via Skype during the week. No JW stuff mentioned, just updates on some stuff with them, us and other small talk.

    Came across this article yesterday, and thought it was a good read. Mr Flipper makes some great points that I found to be true from my experience.

    http://www.jwstruggle.com/2014/01/ten-y ... s-religion

    10 years ago I stopped attending Jehovah’s Witness meetings for good. Walked out of the kingdom hall cold turkey never to return based on injustices I observed among others and myself at the hands of elders giving out not God’s counsel but personal opinions as counsel. Some of them weren’t even giving out WT Society counsel- just personal opinions. This alleged “counsel” destroys lives if followed, breaks up families, and the stress from having to live up to “perfect” expectations can drive Witnesses around the bend mentally, emotionally, and physically. Many like myself – at one time or another reach our “breaking point” where we just cannot take the micromanagement of our personal lives anymore. I reached that point at age 44 over 10 years ago after having been born and raised in the JW cult for 44 years.

    It wasn’t until AFTER exiting the Jehovah’s Witness organization that I started learning how insane, destructive, and criminal this organization REALLY was as I was under “information control” not allowed to be exposed to outside information to educate my mind and be informed so as to have a fuller, clearer picture of how myself and other JWs were SO deceived and manipulated. These are a few of the points I thought I’d share that I discovered so perhaps newly exiting Witnesses hoping to have freedom of mind will perhaps feel LESS guilt or fear in starting a new life after leaving the Witnesses and WT Society organization.

    1.
    The thing that puzzled me being raised up a JW was always being told how “special” we were as Witnesses. Phrases were used to control our thinking like “you are a people for special possession” or we were such “privileged people” when compared to allegedly “worldly people” whom Jehovah would destroy at Armageddon because they were “sinful” and not in the Jehovah’s Witness organization. In my opinion I feel that this is one of the main reasons Jehovah’s Witnesses have such an ELITIST attitude about themselves being better than non-Witnesses due to the fact that this “privileged people” thinking is pushed so hard into their psyche by WT leaders and writers from the moment they start reading JW material or listening to talks at kingdom halls. And the ironic thing is that JWs are ONLY considered “special” to Watchtower Society leaders interests based on how much they attend meetings or donate contributions to WT Society interests. In reality- in the REAL world JWs are no more special than ANYBODY else on the planet – except in their own eyes THEY feel more worthy than non-Witnesses. Once a Jehovah’s Witness sees the WT Society for what they are (a money making corporate business disguised as a religion) and exits the religion- they no longer remain a “special person” to ANY former JWs they knew. Including WT leaders. They become expendable.

    2.
    As Jehovah’s Witnesses we were told that to be considered “spiritual” we had to attend 5 meetings a week, go out in weekly field service, give talks on the podium in the Theocratic Ministry School, raise our hands and comment at meetings, turn our field service time in at the end of each month, clean the kingdom hall restrooms and building, pull weeds in the parking lot, take a “written review” (now it’s an oral review lol) once a month to see what we learned, carry microphones up and down aisles if we “qualified” as male JWs, be parking lot attendants at assemblies, make hoagie sandwiches at assemblies and Kingdom Hall builds, etc. etc. The point I’m making is as long as we performed all these WT “functions” we would be considered “spiritual”. Being “spiritual” had nothing to do with showing love, kindness, mildness, self control, or long suffering the Bible “fruitages of the spirit” – no, not at all – being considered “spiritual” was ONLY performing WT Society functions AS directed by the WT Society whose leaders THEN told you if you were “spiritual” or not by performing WT functions. It had nothing to do with being kind, good as a person, or helping brother or sister older ones giving food, care in their homes, or rides to the store. THOSE things were NOT considered WT Society functions or WT “priorities”.

    So what this thinking and mentality created was JW “brothers” being appointed to positions of elder, Circuit Overseer, etc. based on how well they performed WT Society functions – NOT how kind or loving or considerate or Christian they were in their personalities. So think about it: How else can you explain men being appointed as elders who continue as such for years as they perform WT functions well at the kingdom hall, yet they may have beat their wives, children, molested children, or otherwise have been really scumbags in their personalities- yet got away with it for years? Even NOW many of these men serve in these positions and no alleged “holy spirit” has them removed from their positions, which leads me to my 3rd point.

    3.
    The WT Society leaders and Jehovah’s Witnesses are NOT led by any alleged “holy spirit”. There IS no such thing [in the WT organization]. If there was, a God or “Jehovah” would have exposed it and chosen another organization. And who knows if that has ever happened? It’s a subjective answer and cannot be proven.

    4.
    I also have learned that YOU and I as exiting Jehovah’s Witnesses ARE special based on WHO we are individually- NOT in association with any particular organization, religion, company we work for or whatever. We are special based on having humanity and what we bring to the table in sharing peaceful relations with others based on sharing our love, life, freedom of thoughts and expressions in order to afford other people the freedom to have their thoughts and expressions. You don’t have to think the same way I do, nor do I have to agree with you. You want to be religious? Fine. Atheist? Fine. Agnostic? Fine. Any of us can and should have the freedom of mind to choose WHO or WHAT we are based on access to information and not be made to feel guilty or in fear because of that.

    5.
    Last but not least I have learned that I was lied to by an organization that has committed criminal actions towards other humans – and yet- will probably never be held liable in a court of law because WT Society actions have been done in the name of “freedom of religion” by the U.S. constitution. Children and other led to their deaths by refusing blood transfusions, Malawi JWs being killed for not signing a political party card, while the same thing was not required of Mexico JWs. JW children being molested in the thousands by authority figures within Jehovah’s Witness congregations without the molesters going to jail or having to answer for felony child abuse. Adults and minor children committing suicide because of being shunned and kicked out of JW families due to following shunning policies by the WT Society. The WT Society has EXTREME bloodguilt on their heads and it will continue as long as the WT organization carries on it’s criminal policies like it has the last 134 years unabated.

    In closing I have learned I CAN and AM happier not being enslaved by an organization that didn’t give a damn about me or others like me. I now have much more enduring friendships, a better non-Witness wife, I have the opportunities to pursue my business more fully unencumbered by pressures to perform “WT functions”. I can pursue fun hobbies like playing music on my guitar, singing, hiking & fishing in the mountains, help others in volunteer work without guilt, and feel really good about myself without having to give ANY credit to “Jehovah’s Organization” for the good that I do. My self esteem has been built up over these last 10 years and my happiness increases more ad more as the years go on.

    So that’s about it for my ramblings. If any of you newly exiting are reading this, please realize that in your leaving or exiting the Jehovah’s Witness cult- your life isn’t ending, your whole life is just beginning with positive, new beginnings that will take you places towards freedom and fulfillment. Be patient. It’s tough at first, but in time you WILL succeed in having a happy life free of guilt and fear that the WT Society instilled into us. I raise my glass tonight to all of you who have escaped to freedom of mind! Keep on keeping on, O.K.? We can all do this! Peace out and much love to every last one of you. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • WinstonSmith
  • WinstonSmith
    WinstonSmith

    I am a huge fan of Vice, and one of their recent episodes covered the 'exiled' kids of the FLDS. It is the first ten minutes of the video at the link below. Couldn't help but draw comparisons to the JWs:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8TMKyUdEEMo

  • clarity
    clarity

    Winston ..... oh my heart goes out to you & I am

    so happy everything is clicking into place.

    Lovely to have real friends again!

    I am hoping for these things to appear in my life too.

    All the best .....

    clarity

  • suavojr
    suavojr

    Hey winston wish you much success in your new life outside Borg! Keep us informed...

  • WinstonSmith
    WinstonSmith

    Hello Clarity! Sorry for taking so long to reply, things have been mad at work since we hit the new year. Lovely to hear from you, I trust all is well. Take care, and hang in there!

    Hi Suavojr, thanks mate, things are progressing well as we get more and more of a firmer footing outside of the organisation. Apart from no contact with my mother or sister, life is pretty much 'normal' now. I get up go to work at a place I love, come home hang out with my gorgeous wife, and spend the weekends exploring our beautiful city and surrounds while sipping coffee and eating good food.

    I kinda like it. Such a shame my mother can't see me the happiest I have ever been in my whole entire life.

  • WinstonSmith
    WinstonSmith

    So it has been a while since I made an update on how things are going. To be honest as I said above, things are getting to be.............normal.

    Following on from the leak of the DF and Suicidal Shepherding videos, I decided to have another go at getting through to mum. I know, I am a sucker for punishment! No-one will ever be able to say that I didn't try. Here is a blog post I made titled "Mum, please read" that I also sent to her as an email:

    You made it very clear in a text to me back in October that did not want me to text you "for a while". I have respected that and we have only been in touch a few times since then (all initiated by me). We had a lovely chat on Skype on the 17th of January, but since then I have heard nothing from you. Today is the 15th of February which means on Monday it will be a month since you last had contact with me.

    I know you believe that you are doing the right thing as directed by your religion, but I am still waiting to hear why, per the scriptures you have decided to cut me off simply because I decided that my belief system no longer aligned with that of Jehovah's Witnesses. There is no scriptural basis for your decision (or more correctly, the directive from your governing body), and for that reason, I do not know why you continue to ignore that fact that I exist.

    Since deciding that my beliefs no longer align with that of the Jehovah's Witnesses, I have been the happiest I have ever been in my whole entire life. I have an amazing wife, a great job, and live in a beautiful city (and country) that makes me appreciate so much this unique life that we as humans have. Such a shame that because of your decision to shun me you are missing out on seeing me, your only son, thriving in my new found joy for life.

    Neither you or anybody else have given me any explanation or reason as to why you think it is an acceptable Christian thing to do to cut off your own offspring simply because they can't accept the teaching of your religion. The last time I read the bible, it told me things like:

    - Love covers a multitude of sins
    - Lover never fails
    - Forgive your brothers
    - Love your enemy
    - The example of The Good Samaritan
    - The example of The Prodigal Son
    - An identifying mark of true Christians is their love

    Cutting someone off because they no longer believe what you believe is not loving by any stretch of the imagination, and is most certainly not covered by any scripture.

    The Watchtower Society tells its followers that this shunning is like tough love and that it can motivate people to come back. That sounds to me more like emotional blackmail that it does anything like love. If you think that shunning me and having no (or very little) contact with me is going to make me come back, then you are wrong. Very very wrong. The reason I will not come back and be a Jehovah's Witness is because a large number of their directives are plainly and demonstrably unscriptural, and their long track record is one of failed prophecies, flip flopping doctrine, and a heavy handed approach to the followers that more closely resembles the Pharisees than it does anything Jesus exemplified.

    In addition to this, the Watchtower Society fails to genuinely care for its sheep. It definitely gives the impression that it does, but closer examination shows that this is not the case. As a case in point I was forwarded a video yesterday which formed part of a recent school for elders. Please watch the whole thing, and be mindful that the first section is the "how not to do it" part.

    Please click here to view the video <link>

    Keep in mind that this is not an 'apostate' video, this is an official Watchtower Society video designed specifically to instruct elders on how to 'shepherd'. I was sent a few videos, but I chose to share this one in particular because of the history of depression and mental illness in our family. The advice given here sounds nice on the surface, but is ultimately very dangerous.

    Depression, and suicidal thoughts are a sickness and as such need professional care. It has nothing to do with integrity as stated by the elders in this video. Telling someone who is depressed and suicidal (she had even ideated how she was going to do it) that they are being attacked by Satan is horrible. Laying sugar coated guilt on them (you have to keep your integrity or else you are letting Satan win) is exactly the sort of thing that will push them over the edge. Telling them to read the bible and chant mantras are at best very short term fixes.

    Someone in this situation needs to have professional help. Nowhere in this video is the lady directed to grief counselling, community help, or suicide prevention facilities. She is given what amounts to a pep talk and the elders sit there smugly like they have cured cancer.

    In summary the video says "If you have suicidal thoughts you lack integrity and are letting Satan win against you, read your bible and everything will be fine."

    This video shows a total lack of understanding (or desire to understand) mental illness. It is not something that is fixed up in a ten minute 'shepherding' call. It takes months of professional counselling for some to get the assistance they need to begin to move on.

    This video is from the Watchtower Society and is therefore its instruction on how elders are to deal with this situation. As you know, elders consider themselves to be appointed by holy spirit and view the governing body as spirit directed. This gives them a dangerous amount of confidence in dealing with highly sensitive situation that could have devastating consequences. Not all elders are like this of course. In my experience I was fortunate to work with some really lovely guys. However these people are like this not because of the Watchtower Society, but despite it. As you can see, offering to assist someone get counselling or psychiatric help is the logical thing to do, but goes against what the Watchtower Society recommends in its training video.

    Mum, I'm not trying to get you to change your religion. What I am trying to do is get you to do is examine what you have been taught to believe, and compare this with what the bible really teaches. The Bereans were commended for examining the things they were taught, and all true students of the bible should be the same. The blind acceptance of directives given by a self appointed and self named governing body is not only dangerous, but unscriptural.

    You know I love you very much, and I know that you love me very much. I know that you think you are doing what is best for me, and I hold no ill will for this. All I am asking is that you examine the scriptures on their own to see of there is any basis for the decision you have been trained to make. There is no reason why we can't have a normal mother / son relationship and just not talk about religion.

    With tonnes of love,

    Winston

    She replied not long after with the following:

    Hi Winston

    Thanks for the email. Good to hear from you.

    <Stepdad>and I are currently <overseas> and will be home 25 Feb.

    I have indeed really appreciated you respecting my request and it has been most beneficial in settling my mind.

    Unfortunately, prior to coming to <country> we have had rather a torrid time with the death of <friend> who I have been supporting thru the final weeks of her life. We also had a wedding for which I was heavily involved.(We have another when we get back!). We have also painted all the stone work on the house and around the section in the last month before we left.

    I will look at everything when I return and contact you then.

    Love mum xxx

    I was less than thrilled to know that she had not let me know she was going overseas. Not because I think she needs to report to me, but because she ain't that young anymore, and had anything happened to her while she was away, I would never have known where she was.

    Lots of excuses as to why there has been no contact. I think I now know where I stand on the important-things-in-her-life scale.

    I have not heard anything since, and will leave it another month before I make contact again. She can't get rid of me that easily. My existence and contact is a reminder to her of her cognitive dissonance, so I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.

  • Listener
    Listener

    It must hurt to read her response Winston, spending the time to give you one excuse after the other means she is hiding something or you are hitting a nerve with her and she can't ignore it, although she is trying. She isn't sure of herself in replying to you. You've given her a lot of things to consider and she has promised you she is going to do that. Don't feel too badly because it sounds like she really will consider things closely.

    Personally, I would write to her sooner and really take issue with her not informing you of going overseas. Even if she believes the WTBTS is correct in their shunning doctrine they still allow communication on a 'need to know basis'. You obviously love and care for her very much and she is deliberately withholding this from you. It's not right and this just demonstrates how the shunning doctine leads to other unnatural and unloving behaviour. If the shunning doctrine was christian then we would see only good things and good behaviour resulting from it. I just don't understand why your mother would not let you know that she was going overseas and not allow you to come to their assistance if there was a need.

  • clarity
    clarity

    Hello again Winston.... happy for you & your wife,

    being just normal is really so fantastic!

    All the best.

    clarity

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