The New Diary of Winston Smith

by WinstonSmith 336 Replies latest jw experiences

  • free2Bme13
    free2Bme13

    Hi Winston,

    My husband showed me your DA letter, and after reading it I decided to read your thread to get the whole story. It's taken my several days, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. We have toyed with whether to DA or just stay inactive. It's a tough decision because on one hand the line in the sand is appealing, but on the other hand it's playing by their rules which we're done with. It's such a personal decision and only time will tell what course will be best or necessary for us and so many others who have left.

    I love your artful use of questions. There's no better way to reason with someone than to have them come to their own conclusions.

    I so agree with you on the phrase "miss you." It is so empty and never followed up with any real action. The only times elders come to our door is to leave an invitation to the memorial or convention with the words "we miss you." These are the same ones that didn't pay us an ounce of interest when we sat next to them at the hall, so their words really do sound hollow.

    It's always amazing to see the witness gossip grapevine snap in to action. We've had family gossip about us behind our backs without so much as a phone call to us to see whether what they're saying is actually true.

    On the positive side, one family member we told that we were no longer going to meetings responded much like your mother, acknowledged they too have issues with WT and they made a point of saying that they were glad my husband and I left together. No shunning whatsoever.

    It's always nice to read a well-written story that gives a good example of leaving and dealing with those left behind. Hopefully it gives courage to those who may be standing at an intersection. I love your Dr. Seuss quote. It was in one of my magazine subscriptions years ago and I cut it out and put it on my fridge where it still lives.

    Free

  • WinstonSmith
    WinstonSmith

    Hi there Free2bme13,

    Thanks for reading through the diary. I realise looking back through it that there is a lot of info there, along with some highs and lows. We are very happy to be where we are now.

    The decision to DA or not is a personal one, and one that each individual must make based on their unique situation and circumstances. Either way it is a big call, but it has to be right for you.

    Wonderful that you have a family member that understands and respects your situation. One of the biggest issues I have with the WTS is that they expect everyone to respect their religion, choices, and lifestyle, but offer none of the same respect to anyone else. Hypocrite central.

    Thank you for your kind words, all the best for your journey out!

    Winston

  • WinstonSmith
    WinstonSmith

    It is done.

    Got this in my inbox today:

    Subject: Receipt of letter

    Hi Winston

    Just confirming that your letter requesting disassociation has been received. We will also destroy any congregation records as you wish.

    Kind Regards
    <name>

    Sent from my iPhone


    And with that brief emotionless message I am cut adrift to die like an animal at Armageddon.

    Interestingly, since I sent my letter, Mrs Smith has not been contacted by any elders to check up on her spiritual health now that she is stuck with a fire breathing child molesting cocaine sniffing horn headed hoof toed apostate. Good to know they care about their sheep!

  • maninthemiddle
    maninthemiddle

    I'm actually not suprised that Mrs Smith has not been contacted. I have a freind that when she sent in a letter, the elders started hounding her husband, I think the misogyny runs deep enough they won't contact a wife.

    I curious about the destrying records, I have never heard of that, is that a legal requirement in your country? I have to assume that even if they destroy congeration records bethal still keeps copies?

  • WinstonSmith
    WinstonSmith

    Yeah not sure what is up with the whole no contact thing. I was tempted to reply to the COBE and say "Oh and by the way your sheep that lives with me is fine, thanks for checking on her" but held back. It is entirely logical that the first person they spoke to was Sister T as she was the one that was closest to us. I have no doubt that she would have happily mentioned that Mrs Smith was of the same mind as me. Perhaps that is what has happened. Time will tell. Their lack of genuine care for their sheep is abundantly obvious.

    As for destroying my records, I just threw that in the letter not really thinking that they would do it. I know when people come in to the WTS they are encouraged to contact any churches they were part of and request that their records be destroyed. I only asked because of that (whats good for the goose...). As far as I am aware it is not a legal requirement. It wouldn't even surprise me if they don't destroy them, but only say they have.

    When someone DA's, the bethel is advised, so I am guessing that I have been moved from the shiny filing cabinet in to the one with the busted hinges and dents on the side.

  • Designer Stubble
    Designer Stubble

    "Interestingly, since I sent my letter, Mrs Smith has not been contacted by any elders to check up on her spiritual health"

    This generally does not happen. She is "only" a sister. When I left and my wife initially indicated wanting to continue, she was fully on her own with ZERO support. Fortunately she soon decided to follow me out.

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    Mrs Phizzy pointed out, after we had left, that in all the years we were in she never got one personal "Shepherding" call, they were only concerned about me, and usually my poor performance as a JW.

    When we left, the same thing, we got a few visits from concerned Bros, to me, and eventually I received a visit from two Elders, when they knew Mrs Phizzy was away.

    I think this is partly because they viewed Mrs Phizzy as my "spiritual responsibility", but it is also because they view women as non-entities.

    I am not surprised at all at how things are working out for you and Mrs Smith, the silly thing is that all the harsh attitudes only confirm us faders and leavers in our position.

    We are convinced by the cruel, unloving actions of the Elders and most of those in the Congregation that we have made entirely the right decision.

  • WinstonSmith
    WinstonSmith

    Hello everyone,

    Thank you for your comments and ongoing interest in how things have been going with Mrs Smith and I. Sorry for the lack of updates recently, it has been a rather hectic month. Unfortunately I was laid off from my job, but thankfully, within a week I was back working, this time at a better job, with better people, better location, and better pay. If I was still a JW I would no doubt be thanking Jehovah for looking after me.

    Sadly, even though things have been going great with the new job, I had noticed that some of my text messages to my mum were going unanswered, or at best I was getting one or two word replies back. The cloud darkened when Mrs Smith told me that in an online chat with mum she had said that she was thinking long and hard about whether "I should obey Jehovah or...." she never articulated what the "or..." meant, but I think we all know.

    In fact we do know.

    I got this last night:

    My very dear Winston and Mrs Smith

    I have done an awful lot of thinking, research, spoken to an ex elder, asked him heaps of questions, prayed, cried, worried, got angry, and a million other emotions have flooded through me since your decision. I wish I had been able to discuss it further with you but then it was too late. I am glad you stuck up for your own beliefs and were true to yourselves but how I wish you had just let it all ride and become inactive. However I realise that to live with yourself you had to do what you felt was best for you. So now we both live with the consequences of your decision.

    Thank you for sharing all that you were able to as it made it "easier" for me to see where you were coming from. For me, this is the truth, despite the imperfections of humans. Many things I feel upset about at times but it comes down to the fact that there are many many other things I do agree with in the Bible and within the organisation. We are in the last days and I am content to wait on Jehovah to sort things out in his time.

    So with heavy heart I am going to have to do what you did not want and discontinue contact. It breaks my heart in little pieces to do it but like you, I have to be true to my own beliefs. And my conscience and loyalty to Jehovah bothers me to do otherwise.

    Having Mrs Smith stay inactive so as to keep contact seems hypocritical to me, knowing that she feels the same as you, so knowing that, having contact with her seems wrong to me.

    This is so hard to write so forgive me if I have not explained things as well as I would like. Have no doubt whatsoever that I love you both and never dreamed I would have to face this situation. I am always here in case you ever need me in an emergency.

    I love you my boy Mum xxxxxx

    While I must be honest and say I am not totally surprised, I nonetheless gutted.

    Foxtrot

    Uniform

    Charlie

    Kilo

  • konceptual99
    konceptual99

    Sorry to hear this Winston but this happens time and time again. Things can change over time so keep positive.

  • Retrovirus
    Retrovirus

    So very sorry to hear this, Winston! Your careful preparation deserved better.

    Retro

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