She refused to Return His Calls After a First Date, Then in Rage, He Rants Out, Very Revealing

by Scott77 254 Replies latest social relationships

  • botchtowersociety
    I wonder if I can find some of that here in California?

    Hard to say. I doubt it, though.

  • EntirelyPossible

    My buddies that live in LA tell me good cuban food is somewhat hard to find. Decent churrasco is a rarity

  • mrsjones5

    Well I've done a bit of a search and it looks like I'd have to go to the bay area to get any half way decent Cuban food which I might do if I get the chance.

  • EntirelyPossible

    There is a JW owned cuban restaurant where I live. It's quite good. always funny to go there when conventions are in town.

  • hoser

    jgnat you have a pm

  • FlyingHighNow
    When was your last date time? Do not you feel a natural need to be with a significant other?

    I have better success when I have met men when neither of us was looking for a significant other and we were fortunate to find instant rapport and chemistry. We developed friendships first. So no dating men I don't know. By the time I get to the point of going places with someone, I know the guy fairly well first. This has happened with the last three relationships I have had and it's worked very well. I don't give men I don't know well my phone number or go out with them on dates. I don't go around looking for "the one" either. I figure if you try to force that to happen, you're going to end up with a lot of disappointment and maybe in a bad long term relationship or marriage. The best relationships with men that I have had came when I was not looking.

    Do I feel a natural need for an S.O? I'd rather be single than be with the wrong guy. I'm still good friends with the last couple of guys I had a relationship with. They adore me. I adore them. I'm fine with this. If life sends me another wonderful man and relationship, then cool. I don't worry about it.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    Wow, what a thread!

    It sounds to me that "Mike" is socially inept and likely, has little experience in dating mature women.

    "Lauren" is under no compulsion to reply, although if she did I'd suggest that she tells him to not contact her ever again, and block his email.

    Cagefighter, good to see you posting again. I agree with your views *gasp*shock*horror* (because I'm a woman!)

  • Scott77

    "...The best relationships with men that I have had came when I was not looking..."

    Iam just curious. Please, are you saying in other way that women should not be proactively looking for a man or take initiative to speak out about their feelings toward potential men? Also, are you stating that a woman would be just keep quite and wait for a man to take the initiative hoping for either a positive or a negative or or perhaps a no response on the part of the woman?

    Welcome broken promise. :)


  • jws

    None of us know what really happened on this date. I can understand some of his feelings. Although he seems either inexperienced with dating or crazy. I somewhat know the feeling after leaving the JWs. Dating was only for marriage, etc. At my old hall, asking somebody out was virtually a proposal. And at first, when I left the JWs, I still had that "looking for a mate" mentality.

    I can understand meeting somebody, things seem to be going good, and this person seems like somebody you could be happy with. They have the same interests, there seems to be the signs of chemistry. This person seems more matched up to you than the last dozen women you went out with. You get your hopes up, feel like this might be the start of something. And then nothing?

    What happened? You like this person, thought things went well, and hope it isn't over, so your mind might conjure up crazy ideas. Did something happen to her? Did she lose her phone (maybe why he tried e-mail)? Get in an accident? Odds are no, but why isn't he hearing anything back? At this point, somebody more experienced will move on. A less experienced dater may hold out hope until it is confirmed. Maybe the way a family with a missing loved one always holds out hope. And when they finally get proof their loved one is dead, they often say their mind is at peace now. They just want to know instead of always be wondering.

    How about she tries a simple, "I'm not interested" first? And then if he keeps calling and pestering her, she can label him a stalker. Unless he scared her on the first date and she was afraid of him to begin with.

    This guy in his letter sounds like a jerk. Very high opinion of himself. Maybe there was chemistry at first. Maybe she was flirting when playing with her hair. But the reason we date is because we want to get to know somebody. It probably was the case that something turned her off as the date progressed. I'll bet she wasn't playing with her hair by the end of the date. Or maybe dinner went fine and he did something dumb afterwards. For whatever reason she changed her mind and then avoided him.

    I think, before this turned into multiple phone calls and texts, she could have said a simple no thank you. Or even texted it if she didn't want to talk to him.

    As for his letter, totally uncool. If he wasn't taking the hint and just wanted to confirm it was over, then just ask that. E-mail is impersonal enough that she can respond. It's not like she's returning a phone call and risks talking to him. Something like "hey, had a fun time, but can't reach you. If you don't want to date again, that's OK. No hurt feelings. I just don't know whether my messages are reaching you".

    If he figured it out and just wanted to know where/why it went wrong, just ask that. He does, but his letter is so much more. Still hoping there's a chance while at the same time acting as if she's not worthy. And blaming her for the way she acted. Really?

    He analyzes the date like a classic nerd who hasn't dated much. You did "this" and Google says it must mean this. He doesn't know from experience? Like he read it out of a dating manual.

    Maybe it was his job. He says he made millions for his parents, but omits how well he's done for himself. And while handling your parents money is good, how much does that pay? He doesn't mention the millions he himself has made if he's such a good investor. Is it just possible his "payment" is living with his parents and that his parents support him? And that he gets an allowance that isn't big enough to allow him to invest for himself. If he is wealthy, great. That alone can attract the opposite sex. He should have no problem getting dates where he can figure out what he's doing right and wrong.

    Attraction isn't always a two way street. Part of life. IMO, a better indication of what he's doing wrong is to pick up on the signs and figure it out himself. When were there pauses in conversation where in her head, she was going "WTF"? Did she give any looks like "really"? When did she stop playing with her hair and start breaking eye contact? Was the eye contact of the paying attention kind or the staring kind? Were you so crazy she was just keeping an eye on you?

  • Scott77

    "...He analyzes the date like a classic nerd who hasn't dated much. You did "this" and Google says it must mean this. He doesn't know from experience? Like he read it out of a dating manual..."

    Very true, the letter sounds like a classic text book dating advices. Google is this man's teacher. As a man, I canot blame him. Dating is not easy for everyone. Its kind of trial and error. And between, its a 'two-way-street.' If John Doe dearly loves Jane Doe, but the later does not love the former, it will never work out no matter what.


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