New girl in town here for support

by joyfulfader 101 Replies latest jw experiences

  • wannabefree

    Warm welcome to you Joyfulfader.

    Nice to meet you.

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    Hi JOYFULFADER - I was awakened at forty myself and yes, it is nice to have good genetics!

    I'm just so happy to know the real truth even though it took so long. Its amazing how much whacky shit we put up with because we "wanted to do the right thing" and had to "wait on Jehovah". . .

    When you realize it's just a bunch of people making stuff up, it all makes sense.

  • Heaven

    Welcome joyful!

    Trying to readjust that feeling of a wasted life to one of rebirth at 40. This is my start :)

    You are the living embodiment of the saying "Life begins at 40". Well done! So glad you have realized The Truth About Da Troof.

    I was born-in but had too many WTF? moments as a teenager to join up. The misogyny was not my cup of tea ('headship' - what a crock!) and the 'no blood' policy did not sit well with me at all. I'm 48, but it is only recently as I took the plunge into apostate literature and information online that I realized how bang on my instincts were as a teen. And how much more I did not know.

    Many people have helped solidify for me my own thoughts on this organization and have given me invaluable information that most JWs have no clue about. Paul Grundy's website jwfacts is amazing; full of excellent information. Ray Franz's book "Crisis of Conscience" was a quick, jaw-dropping, head nodding read for me.

    Any organization that uses emotional blackmail for their own agenda is unethical. Any organization that tells you that you can no longer see your friends or family if they don't join said organization is a cult.

    I hope the rest of your life is free of the negativity the Watchtower and JWs brought into your life.

  • joyfulfader

    I am realizing that the battle has just begun. Now comes the quest to see what I actually believe. What part of my inner spirituality is truly mine and which part is the indoctrination?? My fear is that I won't be able to tell the difference. I told my dad (before ever even investigating any ex jw sites) that I was tired of living a life based on guilt and fear. He freaked out (as a former elder would) and told me to stop looking up "apostate" info. I told him that those were my own feelings, not feelings I just happened to read about on the Internet. I did not know that any phrase involving jw's and guilt and fear automatically meant apostasy. I no longer discuss my feelings with my parents. They are still trying to deal with the fact that I'm done. But in thinking about that conversation alone how does one ever figure out their own faith if every word spoken was calculated, every thought was edited, every question rephrased to does one know when their thoughts are finally their own?

  • Cagefighter

    Hi, welcome. I left the first chance I got a 17 and I still wake up with anxiety attacks (less frequently with time). Just tell yourself you are safe and OK, and no matter what happens no JW can ruin your life anymore.


  • Reopened Mind
    Reopened Mind


    Hello and welcome to the board! You are so lucky (yes, we can say that now, lol) to have escaped at 40. My husband and I (he posts as TotallyADD) left in our mid fifties and moved from the South to northern PA to start our lives over. He was the PO when he woke up.

    Trying to figure out what you believe will take some time and research. TotallyADD was a born-in like yourself. Two years later he is still reformulating his beliefs. Since I was a convert it was easier for me as I returned to what I had formerly believed. BE PATIENT. It will be a lifetime journey. My advice for what it's worth is: Don't do anything illegal or anything that violates your inner moral sense.

    Do you have anyone whom you can trust to talk things out with?

    Heaven suggested Crisis of Conscience and These are good places to start. If you want to understand what the cult has done to you I further suggest Combatting Cult Mind Control and Releasing the Bonds by Steve Hassan.

    Best wishes to you on the rest of your life's journey.

    Reopened Mind

  • Giordano

    I did register a few months ago but had to come to terms with the fact that my posting on the site makes me an apostate.

    Actually it doesn't.......... the JW's are the Apostates. Ask yourself would Jesus hesitate to come on this site, would he find good people to share his message with? Many of us may no longer believe he existed but all of us appreciate many of the things attributed to him.

    Though I am a non believer, as are many here, I still marvel at those among us who are people of faith. Who earnesly search for the truth. Who will share their point of view, go out of their way to help and support all posters if they are going through difficult times.

    So if you want to pursue bible teachings there is no more honest a place. If you want to work through the personel issue's join this great crowd as we know immediately what you experienced. Welcome.

  • panhandlegirl

    Joyfulfader, welcome to the forum. You will find a lot of encouragement here. We're all a little battle-scared but are relieved to be able to express opinions and ideas openly. You have experienced a lot of abuse from

    the elders. You've come to the right place for healing. Looking forward to more of your posts and tales from the battle field.


  • flipper

    JOYFULFADER- It's so nice to have you on the board here ! We look forward to being of support to you my friend. I exited the Witnesses at age 44 9 years ago after having been born and raised in it as well. My dad's been a long time elder from the early 1950's and I have an ex-Bethl brother who is quite self righteous as well. Please know you are not alone. WE've all had to restart and assimilate what we truly believe in after exiting the Witnesses also.

    I wil second and third the opinion to recommend reading Steve Hassan's two books " Combatting Cult Mind Control " & " Releasing the Bonds - Empowering People to Think for Themselves ". Both of those books were a tremendous help to me to see HOW the WT society used coercive tactics like GUILT and FEAR to control me for 44 years ! After reading those books you will come to understand the WT society's coercive mind control tactics and it will help you forgive yourself for not leaving earlier. Anybody can be victimized by cult mind control coercive tactics - even very intelligent people. It has nothing to do with our intelligence , just false promises put out to us in a deceptive manner in order to deceiveus and suck us into the JW organization.

    If you ever feel the need to talk any of us here would be glad to chat as a good friend and hearing ear, O.K. ? You hang in there now and protect your child ! Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • cyberjesus


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