Why get "personal" when discussing a topic?

by Terry 135 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  still thinking

  Strikes me as an over-reaction to use the phrase "unbelievably horrible"! But, you feel what you feel and I feel what I feel. Neither of us can reasonably invalidate the other person's feelings. No harm, no foul

  Well...there you go...one persons constructive comment is another persons unbelievably horrible. I'm guessing that how people perceived your thread.

  I think it is an exaggerated over-reach to deconstruct my specific context into: "hurl insults in EVERYONE'S general direction" because I am pointing

  I do not...so we disagree...you have not in any way been clear who you comments are aimed at and why.

  to a singular style of discourse only a VERY FEW posters resort to again and again.

  I did not take your remarks as to only a very few because of this comment earlier....

  In the last few days, on various Topics, I've seen a lot of personal name-calling.

  so...I concluded...it was happening all over the place....and possibly included a lot of different people.
• 

  Found Sheep

  I'm not a newbie but I can't spell
• 

  Terry

  In the last few days, on various Topics, I've seen a lot of personal name-calling.

  so...I concluded...it was happening all over the place....and possibly included a lot of different people.

  Good Point!

  And yes, I have noticed it has been happening on quite a few threads. So, I hope it is just a minor eruption and not a trend.

  Thanks for catching that.
• 

  wasblind

  Watch what happens to THIS topic!

  Instead of discussing the IDEA of courteous debate there will be a few people who immediately steer it into ad hominem._____Terry

  Question: Is this the way to start a civil discussion ??? or is it what you refer to as Baitin'
• 

  wasblind

  double post
• 

  james_woods

  What I think I noticed on the "Magic Thinking" thread was that the personal stuff got actually perpetrated by only a couple of posters (or so) - but that there were many posters who piled on to support them because of ideology. The ideology seemed to be more important than taking a reasonable position to ask those few posters to stop the personal attacks - to those supporters.

  I had no idea that a simple appeal for self-control, self-determination, and avoiding bad practices - to raise people out of disadvantaged circumstances - could be such a rabid political issue.

  But it was.

  A great illustration of the popularity of the notion of entitlement without individual responsiblity.
• 

  Terry

  This may explain the process a bit better.

  1. Topic subject introduced with several issues raised to support the thesis.

  2. Individual poster seizes on ONE issue and deconstructs, distorts and creates a Straw Man version

  3. Other posters read only the last comment and do not bother reading the OP.

  4. The distorted Straw Man version of the OP becomes the NEW topic and side-tracks the discussion.

  5. The person who starts the Topic is always playing catch-up. Always behind the curve responding. Unless that Topic originator has

  ALL DAY at their disposal to put out straw man fires---the Topic turns into mutation after mutation.

  6.Mean spirited posters bring in like-minded "others" who pile on and conversations break out with EACH OTHER high-fiving the glee of baiting!

  7.A breaking point is reached. Flame wars begin.
• 

  Found Sheep

  I view this place like any conversation with more then one person. Topics change....
• 

  talesin

  Some people are very unhappy inside. Being mean and disruptive seems to give them some sort of validation.

  Occasionally, I let those people get to me, and it's disappointing to me that I allow my buttons to be pushed. They are best ignored.

  That is the reason why I seldom start any threads about topics that are important to me. I'd rather have a discussion 'elsewhere'.

  tal
• 

  Terry

  That is the reason why I seldom start any threads about topics that are important to me. I'd rather have a discussion 'elsewhere'.

  That is not only said--it is entirely unnecessary.

  Isn't that the goal of a Bully?