Why get "personal" when discussing a topic? (page 10)

dgp

Terry:

Nazis pretty much set the standard for implacable evil. I don't see anybody on this site ever reaching that level of malevolence!

I was just trying to give an exaggerated example so that it would be easier to make my point.

I find Terry's threads to be thought provoking but not always in a nice way. I don't mean to say that they are without merit (they definitely are) but they obviously open up issues that most of us are very passionate about and when you get passion you get assholish actions from those who would otherwise be very civil with each other. That being said I feel that this site would be poorer indeed if Terry didn't start the threads he does and if the political threads didn't get heated with people like BTS and James Woods going toe to toe with Bizzy, Beks, and sammie.

I think that I personally am going to attempt to refrain from calling any of you bastards bad names. If I can ignore all of your assholishness and bitchativity I think it will be a better forum.

Talesin is the sweetest person on this board by the way.

..and I'll fist fight anyone who disagrees.

Twitch

bitchativity

Also known as bitchcraft

sooner7nc

Bitchcraft...Yes!!! Astounding wording!

Band on the Run

I will be candid that I notice a pattern here. Rather than rebut content I post, or point out alternative ways of viewing the matter, I am personally attacked. No one in the real world questions my credentials. When I go to a dry cleaners, hair salon, people don't demand my bar admission date. As if a bar admission date would prove anything. One would need to my name to access a database of lawyers.Clearly, i can't know everything. My opinions can be mistaken just as anyone can be mistaken. The personal attacks are ruthless. Since I don't know anyone in real life here, I wonder if the personal attack way of arguing is obvious to others. Rather than discuss content, let me diss you b/c dissing you is so much easier.

I tried so hard to stay above the fray. Part of me is drawn to pacifism and another part says to stand your ground. My experience growing up in bad neighborhoods was stand your ground.

Internet forums are generally not my thing so I don't know the norm. People on the diabetes boards don't attack each other. There is no viciousness compared to this site.

I expect people will not agree with me. Altho I may doubt it in the moment, I want to be exposed to different ideas. So much of the rhetoric here is of the "Your mother......" variety. Frankly, I feel cheapened by staying here. Someone will post something very nice or insightful, though. Everyone agreeing with you is not very entertaining. When people are really going at each other, I don't the icons or statements concerning getting popcorn are very funny. I suppose it is a way of pointing out how silly the argument is.

Obviously, I am wrong when it descends to a certain level b/c further engagement will not change anyone's mind. My not leaving bad situations had been discussed in terms of childhood abuse (small children cannot walk out. my life was altered when I was old enough and had money to escape for a while) and the Witness culture. It is not an excuse, just an observation.

Many times, though, the OP was designed to irritate people<IMO. There might be sixty words of titling the topic and the most outrageous is chosen. It seems to be a come hither and fight with me thread invitation.

Never in my life have I been exposed to such venom. Of course, there are many wonderful things on this thread at the same time. We were not allowed to have opinions. I hope that everyone, including myself, could have opinions responsibly. I think this site was designed to help trauma, not cause it. They always say that men work well together b/c of team sports. Maybe we never learned how to diagree with grace.

ammo

I think this site was designed to help trauma not cause it- BOTR

No BOTR you are not alone with your feelings on all this,as usual you make a lot of sense, I am like you in the way that I want this to be a positive experience and see the growth within myself, its easy to get angry about whats being written here- (this site) sometimes when its a blatent stab at individuals. Its not about farting rainbows and shining halo's it's just a little respect for each others opinions, progressing to a discussion and not a gangland massacre, it saddens me that after all the crap you have to go to, to even get the nerve up to check out a site like this, than join, than try to participate with a bunch of people that have all been there and done that, that there is so little regard for anyone else's views, in particular beliefs. Theres so much more I wanted to write but I know its no good to even try to reason with some, they are just hell bent on ridiculing, mocking and declaring others mentally unfit.

Now where have we ALL heard/seen that before.

It sucks reading that people like talsin are hesitant to start threads, she's been here 9 odd years WTF is up with that, how long does it take to feel ok about starting a thread on your thoughts/ideas/beliefs here.

Or do you just have to have a venomous rotten to the core mindset, where proving yourself right, and bludgeoning the life out of another human being is more satisfying than any other road that could be taken.

EGO'S!!!

still thinking

Or do you just have to have a venomous rotten to the core mindset, where proving yourself right, and bludgeoning the life out of another human being is more satisfying than any other road that could be taken.

OMG!

still thinking

It sucks reading that people like talsin are hesitant to start threads, she's been here 9 odd years WTF is up with that, how long does it take to feel ok about starting a thread on your thoughts/ideas/beliefs here.

Personally, I see this as more of a reflection of how someone feels about themself and their belief and caring what others think of it than anything else. If you want to discuss your belief, then discuss it. Ask for what you want. You might be surprised and get it. If not, maybe your belief doesn't stack up quite like you thought it did. That can be scary to let go of in itself if you really want to hold on to it.

Ironically, I think Terrys other thread summed up that way of thinking...if you think like a victim...you will be one.

If you recognise that others have different opinions and voice them in ways you might not like you will start to understand mankind...what have you really got to loose? No one is actually physically going to kill you on this forum.

I don't start a lot of thread because I only do so when the need takes me.

ammo

If you think like a victim you will be one.

True very true.

Treat others as you want to be treated, thats the way I think, ok I could go all 'hateful' or put others down but it would serve no purpose , except to make someone else feel like shit, its not my ambition in life or on this site.

Sorry if it shocks/pisses you off, if you cannot see that the insults on some threads hold no purpose but to pull a crowd, than maybe that is where you are lacking in something. STARTING a thread to mock someone/s time and time again serves no one but the OP and the hangers on. You can call it anyway you want but thats the way I see it. JUST ME.

Look through eyes that are actually open and fair in regard to hearing others and you may find that all this tooing and froing of certain subjects gets people nowhere but pissed off or hurt, or is it the intention to alienate so theres a tight little group of people who all are in agreeince to the same way of thinking because well its a FACT dammit and LOGICAL AND science has proved it. Yes there majors but not everything in life.

Some people are naturally combative, others well it makes them sick to the stomach, you equate that with weakness, I equate it to be a sign of reasonableness conducive to healthy discussion. I do recognise how differant we all are, I work with upto 20 odd guys at once most of the time I am the only female, I listen to antagonizing arseholes all day(at work) long, funny thing is when those extremely opininated and without any compassion individuals are called out on it, they BOO HOO the most, generally threatening to walk, its a real case of dish it out but can't take it.

As far as Terry, well the 'Magic thinking' thread was the first of his I read, it made alot of sense, but don't make the mistake as to being a victim is only if you chose that way, we are all victims of something even our own ego's.

still thinking

Sorry if it shocks/pisses you off, if you cannot see that the insults on some threads hold no purpose but to pull a crowd, than maybe that is where you are lacking in something

Well, speaking as someone who has felt insulted on occasion on this forum. I would say that sometimes the insults are pointless...and sometimes I have just perceived something as an insult...your comment has not pissed me off (and I can't think why it would)...but your observation that I said 'OMG!' to, I found a bit disturbing. Maybe I don't see people here like that.

Some people are attention seekers....so what? Takes all sorts to make a world.

Look through eyes that are actually open and fair in regard to hearing others and you may find that all this tooing and froing of certain subjects gets people nowhere but pissed off or hurt, or is it the intention to alienate so theres a tight little group of people who all are in agreeince to the same way of thinking because well its a FACT dammit and LOGICAL AND science has proved it. Yes there majors but not everything in life.

If you think they are wrong in their opinion, maybe you could voice yours more...just as you are doing here. It's good for the soul. Maybe you could show a bit more support for the individuals you feel are being 'ganged up on',, If you agree with them, say so, and state your reasons why. Instead of letting them flounder on their own. Maybe you could stop critisizing others and be more pro active yourself.

Some people are naturally combative, others well it makes them sick to the stomach, you equate that with weakness

Now that is a judgement if ever I heard one...I have been a victim in my past...a lot of strong people are victims. It is not a weakness. I am not naturally combative. I was brought up in a very violent home. I have felt that feeling of being sick to the stomach, I have suffered from anxiety attacks...and I refuse to be a victim.

Why get "personal" when discussing a topic?

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