Why get "personal" when discussing a topic?

by Terry 135 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Terry

  Trading insults happens among kids all the time.

  Intellectual development hasn't progressed to the point where they can present contrary ideas and opinions with persuasive appeal to reasons, facts and logic.

  "I know you are; but what am I?"

  "Your Momma's so fat...."

  So, they fall back on childish mocking, provocation and personal attack.

  As we grow older and have more education and sophistication our minds should mature---or so you'd think!

  The most.....let's use the word "dignified"....example of taunting, provoking and personal attack in debate can be seen in British Parliament.

  Observe this example:

  http://youtu.be/Q-GkrHKcwvo

  Notice how there WAS a moderator (Mr.Speaker) who kept "order" among the participants and yet passions were certainly in evidence.

  Now I'd like to ask this rhetorical question of all of us here on JW-net:

  Why get PERSONAL when discussing a topic?

  Isn't it the path of least resistance?

  Doesn't it mostly serve as a distraction rather tackling the subject itself?

  Do personal attacks well-represent the purpose of JW-net community as a safe haven for JW's and Ex-JW's to determine important facts about the religion, their lives and WHAT SORT OF PEOPLE WE EX-JW'S HAVE BECOME outside of Governing Body influence?

  I'm not saying we have to be pussycats and rainbows. I'm simply asking why we can't be more to the point, more respectful and less deliberately combative.

  Without naming names I will offer my personal opinion that there appear to be members of this community who serve only one function and that one function isn't the free exchange of important ideas as much as it is to start arguments that go nowhere and to fan flame wars with personal ad hominem

  language.

  It isn't stupidity. It isn't ignorance. It is deliberate choice to be provocatively personal.

  Topics then stray off on side "issues" which are not much more than ghetto gang fights of uncivility and bad manners.

  Watch what happens to THIS topic!

  Instead of discussing the IDEA of courteous debate there will be a few people who immediately steer it into ad hominem.

  WHAT IS YOUR OPINION about the idea of being more civil, respectful, on topic and less discourteously personal here on J-W-net??
• 

  THE GLADIATOR

  British Parliament houses a lot of ex-public school boys where such behaviour is par for the course.

  It would seem that making personal attacks on a forum is the easiest way to get attention. It is also less effort to heckle than it is to construct a sensible argument and make a useful contribution. There are some here who use the forum to vent their personal frustrations, anger and disappointment.

  Over the years I have been guilty of this. Afterwards I felt hollow and unsettled, so I try to be civil. The remarks we make will always be driven by our emotional state of mind, as we are human. We are not exactly the same person from day to day but move within our own range of emotions. The extent of that range can vary greatly from person to person.

  I sometimes enjoy the cat and dog fights on fickle threads. It’s a shame when they ruin serious discussion on threads that could be sensible debate. Well thought out comments are drowned out by the noise. The risk is that sensitive people may be driven away from JWnet.
• 

  wasblind

  So, they fall back on childish mocking, provocation and personal attack.________Terry

  Does this post include your friend Farkel also ????? Or just folks who don't agree wit you

  Who , pray tell, disrespected your mom ????

  Seems to me when someone asks a question you have no answer for , that is construde as a taunt

  Don't worry Terry , I won't over stay my welcome on your thread
• 

  still thinking

  Without naming names I will offer my personal opinion that there appear to be members of this community who serve only one function and that one function isn't the free exchange of important ideas as much as it is to start arguments that go nowhere and to fan flame wars with personal ad hominem

  Maybe thats why...because we all offer our personal opinions...we can all be wrong. A forum is not like reading a text book...it is not a university lecture. It is human beings sharing ideas, hopes, dreams, information, and thoughts. We have emotions, we have feelings. We are not perfect. Some people are passionate, some are subdued.

  When I was exploring after JWism, I loved this place. This board is no different now to when I first arrived, and I gotta say, some of the people here scared me then. Only my interests and ideas have changed.

  It really is in the eye of the beholder when it comes to what constitutes starting an argument and who did it.
• 

  panhandlegirl

  Terry, I totally agree with you. We all need to be able to discuss a subject without resorting to personal attacks against those who don't agree with our point of view. This includes us all, fomer Bethelite or former publisher. I have been appalled at how some of the recent threads had dissolved into name calling and putting people down. None of us know it all. I hesitate to comment for fear I will be attacked. I will mention one person, talesin, who impressed me with her discreet and gentle way of advising a new poster to start a new thread about his problem when he posted off subject on a recent thread. Although, I don't post much, I follow most of the posts (that interest me),from beginning to end. I hope we can start to have respect for each and every poster no matter how long they have been on this forum. It serves no purpose, nor does it advance our understanding of issues, when we insult and attack each other instead of discussing the subject presented. We can all learn from each other, or at least, see an issue from another person's perspective.
• 

  still thinking

  I will mention one person, talesin, who impressed me with her discreet and gentle way of advising a new poster to start a new thread about his problem when he posted off subject on a recent thread.

  I thought she did that so that people would see his opening post, so he could get some response on what he had posted...not because it was off topic. And I agree, that was nice of her.
• 

  compound complex
• 

  james_woods

  I thought she did that so that people would see his opening post, so he could get some response on what he had posted...not because it was off topic. And I agree, that was nice of her.

  Talesin is a nice person. It is good she did this - the topic police often handle these matters without the kid gloves.

  I think Terry is an even nicer person - to have put up with the sh*t storm some created in his thread on Majic Thinking.
• 

  Sapphy

  Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people. - Eleanor Roosvelt.

  Some have difficulty seperating their ideas from their personal identity.
• 

  still thinking

  I fear the world would be incredibly boring if we all seperated our ideas from our personalities...especially on an internet forum.

  Your ideas in a sense...are who you are.