Help! I'm having serious thoughts about going back

by lola28 81 Replies latest jw friends

  • lola28

    Hello old friends, I've been thinking about going back and need you all to give me your thoughts on it.

    The last year has been a horribe one for me, in the span of less than a year the following things have happened to me:

    • Lost my mom to cancer
    • got hit by a car
    • had a professional set back that will cost over 600k to resolve
    • Ended a three and a half year relationship

    It just feels like every time I think things are going to get better something else hits me and knocks me down, a small part of me wonders wether I brought all these things on myself because I left the organization (yes I know how silly that sounds) and I have given serious thought about going back. I need you guys to talk me out of it!


  • mrsjones5

    Why do you think going back would be a good idea?

  • cofty

    I'm so sorry you have had such a difficult time.

    You are not being punished, sorry if it sounds blunt but shit happens, there is no reason for it.

    "Sometimes you're the winsdhield, sometimes you're the bug"

    Would you want to worship a god who did those things to you?

  • lola28

    If I'm being 100% it's a combination of having a support group and also that little bit that tells me in the back of my brain that all these things happened because I left.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Do not make a non-rational reaction to rational facts. Bad things happen. There is no correlation to your choice to leave a religion - unless specifically related to that choice. [For instance a marriage that ends over this - or loss of income because of shunning perhaps.] In general, bad and good things happen to all sorts of people for all sorts of reasons.

    You jumped out of the frying pan - don't land back in the fire.


  • headisspinning

    Hi Lola

    What a terrible ordeal you've been through... and I'm very sorry to hear about your poor mom. That's very sad.

    You need to make the right decision for you. Nobody can tell you what that decision is. All we can do is share our own personal experiences and opinions on the matter.

    For me personally, leaving the religion has been very difficult. Sometimes, I miss feeling all safe and secure thinking we knew the 'Truth' and we were going to live forever and too bad for everyone else who wouldn't listen. Now, after leaving the religion, I am left with a void. A void that is going to take a lot of healing and learning and growing to fill. But I would rather be uncertain about life, the future, God and everything else than to live a lie.

    I am free now. Free to choose. Free to live. Free to decide and to find my way. Yes, there are big challenges along the way and I miss the idea of 'all the loving brothers and sisters' and the sense of community. BUT... I learned the hard way that all of that was merely a facade and in my darkest hour, I was alone.

    But guess what I found out? The one person I needed to pay attention to ALL this time... she was with me every step of the way, if I just stopped to notice her.. that girl was me.

    :) All the best.

  • Bobbi

    Going back will not help in the long run. Take time now to focus on healing yourself without trying to live up to an unatainable standard. Try to think out side the box. Don't look at what you think might make you feel better even though you once left it behind. Look for something new.

    I know when you feel like everything is beating you down it is hard to lift your head up and look forward but that is exactly what you must do. Look for oppourtunities to do something different. Could be something small like smiling at the cute guy/girl in the grocery line.

    Good luck!


  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    You do need suport but are they who you need? Are they there for you now? A real friend loves you even if you are of a different religion. You are not going to stop bad things from happening by going back. I'm sorry for the pain you have had this year. Try to reach out to people in your area that can be of help.

    Peace and love to youFS

  • usualusername

    Lola I have sent you a PM......



  • hoser

    once you know the truth about the truth it is almost impossible to go back without having a mental breakdown.

Share this