Well-- I have good reasons for suggesting the things that I do. I certainly wouldn't expect everyone to agree with everything that I suggest. But I will say that they are proven tactics for correcting the sort of problem that the OP is experiencing.
I'm not so stupid as to think that women see things the same way men do. Women do not often "cheat" for purely sexual reasons. Women step outside of a relationship for reasons that I've already stated, feeling unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and unwanted. Most of these problems can be solved by stimulating her through genuine interest and spontaneity. Which is what she felt like she was getting from the extramarital experience. I'm not suggesting that sex is a fix in and of itself. But I am suggesting that there's a reason the girl went over to her coworkers house wearing her sexiest underwear. If a woman feels desired both emotionally and physically [I want your body and appreciate your mind.], she's not likely to feel unfulfilled. That's my point.
Women like to talk things out, they want to be heard. But if you continually harp on someone's bad behavior, causing them to feel bad about themselves, they WILL seek out situations or PEOPLE who make them feel good again. So, if the OP wishes to salvage the relationship, his best course of action is to focus on improving their relationship without punishing her for her past transgressions.
That's just my .02
StillThinking-- I'm not the type of "player" that you imagine.