So my JW wife cheated on me. Need some help or at least a sympathetic ear.

by JonathanH 147 Replies latest jw friends

  • JRK

    Oh, and if she wants to see the guy one last time, it is to fuck his brains out. Do NOT buy into that shit.


  • curiouscynic

    Of course it isn't about me, Sizemik. But JonathanH made mention of my "credentials" so I was offering that the advice I gave comes not just from a point of having been the "other man" and therefore understanding why a married woman would seek association with one; but also from the perspective of a guy who spends a lot of time with women in general.

    I know how to fix the guy's problem. Of course, he can't fix his problem the exact same way I would, that's stupid. With so many people weighing in, and now making me the focus of the conversation, I felt the need to more clearly articulate my perspective.

    Again... the whole swinger's club thing was just ONE suggestion and apparently almost no one understood that I was not, in any way, advocating swinging. Even though I said as much rather explicitly.

    Soft+Gentle got it exactly right. Take the spirit of what I suggested. Reinject EXCITEMENT into the relationship and don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone, and ESPECIALLY hers since she's already shown that she's willing to go to some length to be entertained.

  • Twitch
    My point was, she went to another man's house because she needed some excitement and he has a need to settle his jealousy issues.

    You're absolutely right. What man would be jealous when his wife is with another man?

    Again... the whole swinger's club thing was just ONE suggestion and apparently almost no one understood that I was not, in any way, advocating swinging. Even though I said as much rather explicitly.

    Perhaps mine was less of a jump to a conclusion than a shuffle, lol.

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    Ok...I'm gonna cut to the chase because I am sick of reading curiouscynics advice. Yes curious, we get that you are recommending boosting their egos and sex life by GOING TO a swingers club and NOT swinging...we get it! And it's still CRAP don't get that.

    Women predominately have affairs to END relationships or marriages...simple. If she is one of the few who hasn't done it for this reason then SHE needs to sort her shit out and do WHATEVER it takes to sort out her marriage. Entertaining her WILL NOT work. She is NOT a child.

    Bragging about your sex life, threesomes, your wifes eventual supposed like for women and how much women just love to be with you, may impress women who have not experienced men like you before curiouscynic...but hey...there are a lot of women who haven't experienced men like you...I am not one of them.

    Almost everything you say curious is just a mirrored image of EVERY player I have ever met. The guy I had the affair with would probably offer the same sort of advice that you have...he would also be WRONG...because just like you...he had NO idea...he just thought he did. That's why I didn't stay with him...he was a dickhead...he got on really well with women...most of his friends were women..Three of his ex wives were women and....HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WOMEN...he couldn't stop me walking out the door...he thought HE knew what I needed...HE didn't.

  • JonathanH

    Thanks for everyone's advice (good and bad), and for their support. Things are looking up now. We've had some long talks with lots of emotions and lots of honesty and realized things about our relationship that neither of us knew. Even though it's not like it's just going to spring back to normal, we are in a much better place now (and I am in a much better place now), and we are prepared to work hard together on our relationship. We actually watched some TV together last night, and cuddled while we slept. There is definitely healing to do, but this isn't going to kill our marriage. I think we're out of the worst of the worst of it, and can start moving up from here. And no I'm not going to tell you what we talked about, because it's none of your business. And no, we aren't going to go to a swingers club.

    Again thank you all for your support in a bad time. It really helped me out . But I've got it from here.

  • ABibleStudent

    Good-luck ((((((((JonathanH))))))) to you and your wife. I hope that your communication and trust continues to improve.

    Pease be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • thetrueone

    Time heals all wounds, keep the line of communication open between your wife and yourself,

    don't neglect expressing personal affection continually throughout your relationship together.

    By not the relationship can grow stale quite quickly developing other problems down the road.

    Continue to express love, respect and appreciation for your wife.

    Make and set goals something desirable into the future for both of you..

    Do little things to show your love for your wife in doing so stabilizing and solidifying your love for her and all will be alright I'm sure.

    Do not listen to idiots telling you should get into swinging to make your relationship a better more fulfilling one..


  • LoJack

    It's a proven fact that once the cheating begins it will happen over and over again. I feel for you, but you have to cut your loses and move on. Trust is a MUST in any relationship. When your at work can you trust that JODY is not in your bed? This is experience speaking.


  • thetrueone

    It's a proven fact that once the cheating begins it will happen over and over again.

    Not necessarily, I've seen marriages go through similar circumstances and some have actually turned out all right.

    Yes there may some Truth to that statement but the word to apply here is some.

    There's no question that infidelity is a great cause for marriages dissolving, but thats not for all circumstances and situations.

    Another stupid statement that holds little factual truth in relation to reality.

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    Still are my new heroine.

    Think About It

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