I wish I was dead ...

by talesin 86 Replies latest jw friends

  • journey-on

    Goodness gracious, Talesin! I couldn't open the YouTube, but the title of this post breaks my heart. The other day, I read your Post #12 when you first started posting to this board several years ago, and thought, "Wow! This gal sounds interesting, eclectic, assured, poetic, and funny!" Hope you find the inner strength to pull forth those qualities and start feeling better right this minute.

  • Snoozy

    I always have mixed emotions when I read a post like this one. My hubby died in 2003 of Cancer..he would gladly change places with anyone that would like to just "end it all". but he had no choice. He appreciated life..he was always thinking of new things to do or places to go. I feel so sorry for anyone that can't feel that. The ones that just sit back and say woe is me. Life must be horribly challanging or boring for them. Or maybe just too painful? And yet I knew cancer victims that went through so much pain and sickness just to try and survive..I don't know. There is just so much life out there, you just have to go look for it. Hubby would have.

    I am so sorry you can't /don't want to experience that kind of life..I have been depressed before but never to the point I wished it was all over..I feel sorry for anyone that feels that way. They are missing out on so much..so very much!

    I hope you have better days in the future. Someone once said life is what you make it..sometimes I wonder if that is true..makes sense to me.


  • cptkirk

    she hasn't posted in over 15 hours...said she was going to sleep...i hope she is ok. can someone call her? i doubt she was just bored, and decided to start a thread with a title like this. i hope someone can contact her.

  • ziddina

    Talesin, honey, I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling so down...

    Is it something specific? Or just an accumulation of problems??

    I could tell you about some people who overcame incredible handicaps - Helen Keller immediately comes to mind...

    I wish we could actually physically HELP... If it's health problems - those can be nasty! I'm grumpy as an old bear when I'm sick or injured... And usually mad at myself for BEING sick or injured..

    Here's a picture to cheer you up - hopefully...?


    ayers rock

  • talesin

    oy, oy, oy...

    I have yet to read this thread, because I want to let everyone know not to worry.

    The first time I remember saying this ... i was 12. I have had my head shrunk many different ways, and learned a helluva lot in the process. So, no, wanting to be dead (in my case) is more of a fantasy of not wanting to feel any pain anymore, and is akin to 'revenge fantasies',,, yes, lots of you have them!!! :D

    You're not gonna beat that elder/dad/mum/mean gurl REALLY... you just enjoy fantasizing about it,,, occasionally, or maybe even once ... it'e actually quite normal and not a bad thing.

    Will post more about what's really going on in my life,,, I hate drama, but dammit, life arrgh ...my foot injured jan 29, 2010 .. yes 18 mos. w/ torn stuff... being made fun of by doctors , who didn't believe I was in that much pain b/c I do not take narcotics or hardly even Ibuprofen (1-6 times/yr)....

    this begins my journey of 2011 , the year of hell.

    Don't worry, I have been painting, and last nite just wanted to shout out, for once, what I think a lot of us feel ... from time to time.


    * edited to highlight bold *

  • talesin

    Zid, that is beautiful!! buttes, I'm thinkin' ' t/y!




  • talesin

    Snoozy ,, Yes!!! You said this ...

    Post 3519 of 3519
    Since 11/3/2001
    I always have mixed emotions when I read a post like this one. My hubby died in 2003 of Cancer

    My friends are going thru hard medical times right now. I feel unworthy to be here, and this has me led to question, it's so not fair. They have so much to live for, and my life is, relatively, insignificant.

    It's not a pity party, it's an existential question.

    Because of the effect that severe, daily pain has had on my thinking process, I felt it was relevant to mention.

    And so what? Maybe you should google "ritual abuse" ,,, maybe you should google "Atlantic Earth Festival" and see part of an article I wrote..

    Its MORE than appropriate to ask for suppport here, and if you don't want to be supportive in my working through this issue, then please feel free to STFU.


    * correct typo "ritual abuse" ,, book by Margaret E. Smith, a 'must' read *

  • cptkirk

    that is one reason i dont like it when people comment on other people's disabilities. they superimpose their own situation on the other individual, which is really a crude line of reasoning. there are many tools in the toolbox of psychology. projecting (which generally has negative connotation), in this context being the same as superimposing....can be an affective tool, as long as it's used in conjunction with other tools of psychology and reasoning together. as a stand alone tool, it's extremely crude. in an analogy, picture a surgeon operating on someone's chest...now picture him only having access to one tool, a scalpel maybe...he may actually get something done with that one tool, but it's not going to be pretty. he needs all the tools to be affective.

  • aquagirl

    Sucks dosent it?And it feels like no one really understands.But,ya know,we do.My dad died in Dec 09.By mid Feb,I was ready for my pain over losing him to be done.Read "Final Exit" got all of the needed stuff.Kissed my Husband goodbye as he left for work,Ate toast for breakfast{so the meds didnt make me puke} and headed for the bathroom,where I had the stash.Halfway there,my cat,who I love dearly,ambushed me from beneath the couch,muckled onto my ankle and refused to let go.He stared at me as he rabbit punched my pj's.I tell ya,its like he KNEW!!!!!! I sort of snapped back into reality at that moment and realized how stupid killing myself would be.I had so many good things,and I was totally focusing on the one really bad thng that had ever happened to me.yes,I would have given it all up,if not for my cat,Joey Ramone.So sweetie,some of us do know.I hope you are feeling better.Life is sad and beautiful.You are beautiful.Right now,you are sad.You will be beautiful again...hugs......pm me anytime,ok?

  • tec


    I'm so glad you posted. I was reading, and I was getting worried that you wern't posting on the thread. You are such a vibrant personality on the board, and you care enough to defend those you believe need/want/deserve defending... "Noooo" was all I could think when I read the title.

    The hurt passes. The weariness passes. Stay strong!

    Lots of love,


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