JW directives you thought were downright stupid

by fallen_princess 98 Replies latest jw experiences

  • undercover
    Another directive that I didn't like was the don't say the same things in your prayers, no repetition...try to be original each time. Meaning don't do anything like the Lord's Prayer. I ran out of original things to say around age 12. After that, my PrayerPod was on repeat and no shuffle.

    I had the unfortunate oppurtunity not too long ago to be at a dub gathering, which included a prayer over a meal. Not having heard a prayer in some time, it was somewhat amusing at how silly it sounded. Like a recording that someone switched on. I could tell that this guy had pretty much given this same prayer 3 or 4 times a day, everyday for years and years with just the slightest changes...to make it personal, ya know. He apparently had run out of original things to say many years ago as well.

  • paulnotsaul
  • paulnotsaul

    How about not supporting christedom. You know, can't go to or join the Y.M.C.A. Buy anything from church based stores like salvation army or goodwill. Donate any money to help anybody thru church organizations. Candy bars, etc. I guess if it does'nt benefit the ORG. you better not support it! OHTHEGAUL paulnotsaul

  • The Quiet One
    The Quiet One

    Men can't wear sandals to meetings/service. If you don't agree that it's a rule, try it and see what happens.. One brother wore them on the ministry once (on a hot day), and he was counselled not to do it again. To which he replied, ''If Jesus wore them, then they're good enough for me''!

  • Nickolas

    I had the unfortunate oppurtunity not too long ago to be at a dub gathering, which included a prayer over a meal.

    Last prayer said at my table before I banned them:

    Our heavenly father, Jehovah (me, to myself - just in case You forgot Your name) we thank You now for this wonderful meal You've provided to us today (hey, it was me who provided the meal, ingrate) and we're all especially grateful today that we can be here around this table with Nick and his wife (ok, well, that's a little more like it) and we thank You for the wonderful day You have provided to us today, Jehovah (hey, I think He already knows who He is, besides, it was a shitty, rainy, humid day - but at least 7 billion people weren't slaughtered, so I guess it was ok) and pray You will forgive us today our many, many weaknesses and shortcomings (speak for yourself, buddy. I'm ok) Jehovah (how many times do you have to repeat His name to make sure He knows you're talking to Him?) and that You will soon bring this wicked system of things to an end (ok, so you *want* to see 7 billion people slaughtered?) so that your faithful servants may live forever on paradise earth in Your righteous Kingdom (yeah, eating vegetables and milk and honey forever and ever. That's pretty exciting. Damn, my backribs are getting cold.) and, Jehovah, (is He getting senile or something?) we pray all of these things today in the name of Your Son who You sent to earth to save us (you know, I think He might have remembered doing that without you mentioning it) from the evildoer Satan (am I ever going to get to eat, here?) in the name of JesusChrist our Lord (thank dog, we're almost done) Amen.

  • Knowsnothing

    Nickolas, on a tangent, I went to a memorial a couple of years ago, and this annointed dude gave a 7 MINUTE PRAYER!!!! (or what seemed like it.... at least 5 min)


  • ShirleyW

    Hey Aquagirl - I remember red shoes being a nono as well, I can even remember the Br. mentioning that from the platform!

    That's interesting, if you heard it to then it must've been in some kinda elders letter to the congregation or something.

  • fallen_princess

    I never heard the red shoes one, but in one congregation I visited I rememeber strappy high heel sandals were frowned upon because they were too sexy. I think most of the elders are just sexually repressed and since they dont get any at home its easier for them to not implode if the sisters at the hall dress in frumpy outdated clothing.

  • itscrap&theyknowit!

    This stuff is hilarious and I remember about 99% of it!!!

    I told my Mom the JWS is JUST LIKE the Mormons and the FLDS. She had to remember that I am a grown woman. I thought she was gonna find a strap to beat my a$$ with it!!!!! Why don't they see it? It's freakn black and white!!!

    I remember being one of the MOST Holly Hobby/Laura Ingalls Wlder wearing, crazed maniac!! Skirts down to my ankles (under my heels, if I could) and buttons up to my chin and loose fitting outfits, as not to show off my bulging breastest !!!! Well, the C.O. and his wife visited. I had on a LOOONG black skirt. The problem....the kick-pleat was from the ankle and stop and the bend of my knee. You all understand? The kick-pleat was in the back, not the front, not the side. PLUS, it was overlapping and you couldn't see my legs anyway!!!! The sisters at my hall had a fit!!! "Why are you wearing that skirt?!!!" I had ALWAYS worn that skirt and it wasNEVERa problem! But, I should've been stoned to death. I cried and was shaken-up for 2 or 3 days.

    What made me angry? MY punk-a$$ husband didn't have my back. Nor did he shut these sisters down being he was an elder!!!!

    "One beatdown willnever compare to 25 years of captivity ofbeing a JW)!!!! Never!!!!

  • itscrap&theyknowit!

    @ Nugget - Women having to wear a tea cloth on their head when saying a prayer that was pretty ridiculous.

    I remember my mom doing that when she conducted our studies when Dad was at work! OMG!!! I thought that was the MOST STUPID thing ever!!! I was only 5 years old when I would look at her and think, "Is she a damned fool!"

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