my life... well the first part at least (page 6)

unshackled

Still reading too...keep going with the therapy.

Found Sheep

OK BillytheBethelite...

the next part isn't easy for me to write I just needed a nudge

Not at all shocking looking back. I'm a bit nieve at times. Even more so back then. I thought changing jobs would get Ahab off of my mind. Not so. The wonders of the internet. We admited that we were attracted to eachother and I said that's all and good as long as we keep the pants on. We met a few times to go hiking and kept it non physical for quite a while. I viewed this the start of the affair anyway. Even in my JC I said it started the first time we met and I didn't tell LM.

It's an odd thing. At the start it helped me not hate life so much. I had something to look forward to and someone that made me feel loved.

At some point though the table turned in my head. I hated it! I felt ugly all the time, ashamed, i hate meetings! I knew I was going to die at the big A and wanted it to come now and kill me. I din't turn myself in because I didn't want to hurt anyone...

Then May of 2008 -

A good friend of mine died suddenly of breast cancer. She was only in her 40's. That day was the first time I wanted to be in the New System.

We booked a cruise and I decided that after the cruise I would know if I wanted "forgiveness" or a divorce.

The cruise was fine we were "polite" to eachother.

The week we got back was the CO's visit and he gave some, looking back, threatening talks. By the time the week was up I was ready.

Sunday afternoon I left LM. Packed up the bags and just left. Tuesday I broke it off with Ahab. Wednesday my first of three JC.

Do you all hate me?!

Found Sheep

thanks Unshackled!

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Still reading... I don't hate you.

Found Sheep

My first JC was more of a psych evealuation then anything. I had a sister come with me. They said" no" I said" if you want me to talk to 4 men, 3 elders and LM, about my affair she is staying" they talked for a few and said OK

I had spent the day with this sister and her family, I'll call them them the "To be apostates", in there hot tub drinking wine and telling them my entire story. They never liked LM but they were a bit disapointed I was the "sinner" they all told me they hoped LM would run off with someone...

I'm sure I threw them into minor shock. At 8 am I show up at there house hysterical! I blurted out what I did and that my JC was that night. I said I'm going to be DF and knew they would make sure I was OK till my feet were on the ground again. They didn't let me out of there site for a month. I'm sure I would have gone back to LM or ended up hospitalized if they weren't there..

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Like anybody would agree to run off with LM?

Nobody could get that drunk!

Found Sheep

So I find myself at my first, for me, JC. Two of the three elders are crying. I'm high, from letting go of the guilt, the wine didn't hurt either. Us two girls smell like chlorine and I still have her bathing suit on under my modest dress. LM looks so pathetic! when I tell them details of our marriage the elders keep asking LM why he didn't do anything.... I was free of LM at last! wel....l at least I never had to sleep with him again!

Found Sheep

funny post Billy the ex-bethelite just got your post... No LM wasn't a hot trot

Found Sheep

Divorce is hard enough! When you get JW in the middle of it, as if it is any of there business, it makes it HELL!

In normal divorces the friends divey up 50 % wife 50 % husband.

in a JW divorce 0% sinner 100% innocent victim

News spreads fast...

The once secret I had became everyones knowledge.

The first JC ended with no decision. I told them I would have ONE meeting, but afer three hours of intarrogation we all had enough.

I agreed to another one

all I have to say for JC is PTSD

and they suck

why do elders think they have and ability to deal with real family problems. They don't! They made, and make it now for others worse!

my life... well the first part at least

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