my life... well the first part at least (page 3)

freeflyingfaerie

Found Sheep~

I'm giving you a big hug right now....hope you can feel it!

chicken little

Honey, you did good, always even when you doubted yourself you did good.

sizemik

Your heart always seemed to be in the right place . . . and you sacrificed much for the benefit of others . . . you have every right to be very proud of that.

Thank you Cantleave, wannabefree, freeflyingfaerie, Sizemilk, Chickenlittle, Robdar, Jwfacts,Lozhaslaft, dgp, Unshakled, Cult Classic, Happyexjw, Morbidzbaby, Quandry, d, Watson and anyone that has read my story. It's been interesting to tell all.

Had a long day at work so not sure how much I can tell today.

I think it was the combination. We stopped Pioneering. I was a Real Pioneer. I was actually disapointed when the hours went down from 1,000. Yup I was the "type"

I was in nursing school and working at a hospital. This meant for the first time in my adult life I had contact with the "world". This became a big deal to me. The people I was working with were good people. They had some of the same "problems" as JW's and some were just as "spiratual" as the JW's.

LM was 100% consumed on taking care of his parents. At some point I asked LM if we could get a separation or a divorce. I know. WHAT?! We talked about our problems he promised to "change", I said I'll give it more time.... ya ya ya. He said I didn't understand why he cared about his parents because I didn't have a great relationship with mine. ? I'm a caregiver at heart! It wasn't that he was helping then. It was that he gave up his life, and my life for them. It wasn't like they NEEDED 24 hour care. He just GAVE IT! Plus they were abusive to him and me and he didn't seem to care about that. The dysfunction became normal to him. I realized that these were the people that raised him and being away from them helped him get rid of that part of his life, but when they moved in, so did the abuse and the abused child. OH and did I mention the MIL is a hoarder?! It was BAD! She could have been on the show for Hoarders.

Before you judge let me explain that from day one of JW life I had "elder GOD syndrome" I felt if an elder did it or said it it was like GOD did it. So the other factor was an elder in my hall taking advantage of me. I took all the blame so that feels wierd saying. I was so so volnerable. I confided in a couple and they were great, at first, to me. They said everything I wanted to hear. Problem was the wife is Bipolar, Schizophrenia. So emotionaly unavailable. The elder on the other hand was not happily married himself and latched on to me. We didn't have an afair BUT, he showed too much attention to me. I think the biggest thing that did was made me realize how unhappily married I was. I ended it, and then he started drinking. That just made me feel guilty cuz if I didn't end it, the alcoholic would have stayed on the wagon.

night night

Thank you!

maryann

Thanks for sharing Raveen. I like your name. My heart goes out to you. Bless you and a biiiiiiiiiigg hug.

Found Sheep

Maryann- thanks for the hug!

karter

Great story so far keep it comming.

Karetr.

JustHuman14

Great story of yours. I guess we had similar stories in the WT World...I recall when I was a child in the 70's and my dad was an elder, we had to be early at the KH, in order to show we are "spiritual"...you can imagine when I was "naughty" and I had to go to the "back room"?

I didn't finished high school( I left half way the last grade) because I was supposed to live in the generation that by no means will pass way. It was the famous generation of 1914 and it was the year 1984, and I was only 17 at that time. So i spend my best years of my life pioneering the false gospel of the WT.

For 33 years WT, like a vampire was sucking my blood, my life, my own existence, personality, and dreams. Then one day I realize that I couldn't continue anymore. I had to brake free, but it wasn't the most easiest thing to do, because my life was there, and everything I loveD. But I try to stay in order to keep the family together, but eventually I was turn to the elders from my own people for apostasy...I couldn't take it there anymore, their lies, their hypocrisy, and I left.

Found Sheep

JustHuman- It's amazing how many of us suffer for the "family" then the "family" turns you in!!!! I don't think JW's can know what real love is.

meditations

"I don't think JW's can know what real love is."

That is such a damning statement, but so true.

Growing up as a JW I would often feel more love from my "worldly" friends than from my own family, and definitely more than I felt from elders or others at the Hall. It's crazy how a religion that is supposedly founded on love, inspired by love can become so completely divorced from it, from one generation to the next.

my life... well the first part at least

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