After carefully evaluating the my current life situation, I've come to the conclusion that returning to the Hall will be best for me. I simply just don't fit in with the rest of the world. I don't drink, smoke, have sex, go to clubs, listen to worldly music, watch movies, or gamble. (Although not to seem self righteous I must confess that on ocassion I do look at pornography .) I've been stressed out from my job for the past few months from working with a bunch of rauchy blue collar guys. The type that curse every 2 seconds and are always talking about sex. They've started to single me out recently because they've noticed I don't behave like them and that's really started to get under my skin. It's getting to the point where I'm constantly having violent fanstacies about hurting them and recently I actually considered buying a gun. Before this job I was non-violent but they are starting to push me to a dark place. I've concluded that I need to be in an environment where I can get comfort from the Bible and associate with people who aren't worldly. I've never planned on becoming a JW again when I left, but the world bascially forced me to go back. I need something to counter all the negative vibes I get from my job, and I believe having good associates while consatanly being reminded of the teaches of Christ is the only thing that will help me.
I've Decided That It'll Be Best For Me To Return To The Kingdom Hall.
Well, good luck with that. I got a bunch of jokes about what you said but I will save my brain for anyone who uses theirs.
Seems it would be better to get a different job. I have been gone from the KH for a long time. If you can just give yourself time, you will begin to lighten up and then live and let live. I can't stand to be around JW's. I felt like I was on Mars the last time I went to the KH, which was late in 1999. I had been inactive about 8 years at that point.
I'd rather spend eternity with happy fornicators than 1 hour with a group of active JW's.
Isn't there a way to get the subject changed from sex? Ask them about their car engines or powertools.
Funny I'm the same as you I don't drink, smoke or have sex, go to clubs, the only stuff I watch are kids shows for my kids. I'm stressed at my job just like everyone else, and guess what? I just found friends that are alot like me. I can't force myself to believe something I don't believe just for my social circle. I guess I just can't be a hypocrite... sorry.
Well you know God gave you freedom to do as you wish.
But since the one your going back too( ORGANIZATION OF JW) took my kids away from
speaking to me because I dont believe Jesus came invisably in 1914
,I would rather stay with the world. I have met more real friends here than
anywhere,So glad you dont drink, smoke,screw around, think on sex.
you sound like your a great guy!I know so many who would like to met you.
Your perfect!!!!But then you were told how to walk ,how to talk,how to think,
So in the world you have to manage to think with the brain GOD gave you.Animals can be trained by men!!!to jump when told to bark, when told, to walk,
so go & do as your told /Good Luck.
I hate to break it to you, but there's more to the outside world than drinking, smoking, having sex, going to clubs, gambling and what not... Can I make a suggestion? Give yourself the following challenges:
1. Try therapy, for just six months, so you have an objective outsider to talk to not. Not a JW (or even ex-JW's for that matter!), just someone else to be a sounding board and to help you talk about some of the very important issues that you brought up in your post (violent fantasies, etc.
2. Speak to a supervisor or a manager about what you're facing at work. Don't walk in with an accusatory tone, don't name names, just sit down and calmly ask your boss for clarification about policies related to swearing, sexual talk and the like. Be open about wanting some help and suggestions about how to improve the situation. Even in the average blue collar work place, those kind of behaviors are not acceptable and can create what is considered a hostile work environment. In the mean time, polish up your resume and start looking for other employment. Just getting out there and checking out different job prospects can be very helpful.
3. Volunteer! There is nothing better for getting out of your own head (and grumpy place!) than to help other people. Do you like animals? Check out the SPCA. Look up volunteer matching sites and find something that suits you. Something else you'll find is that generally, in a volunteer atmosphere, people are very respectful and keep the trash-talking and negativity out of the picture.
4. Enroll in at least at least one class. If you're in Philadelphia, the main community college there has some great courses and teachers and they have night classes, too.
You don't state what prompted you to leave the organization in the first place. Re-examine that.
I can't tell you to not go back. Go ahead and do it, but make sure you do the four things listed here, too. It'll give you a richer life experience all around and make you feel more rooted to life in general. Feel free to PM if you want to discuss more.
Join some clubs, volunteer, go do stuff you like. There are people in the "world" who have the same values as you, you just have to go out and find them. You can counter the negative vibes from work without adding the negative vibes from a congregation of JWs. Maybe your experience has been different, but the JWs I knew are some of the least Christ-like people I've ever met.
I wish you the best on your spiritual journey.
I do hope that you begin to see both the world and JW land in color. It's not all black and white, as you allude. There are good things in the world and in JW land, and there are bad things too. But, there are also grey, yellow, pink, purple, green, and blue things too. There are good other churches that do some bad things, as in JW land.
Most of all, I hope the JWs don't one day think you are bad or evil, and see you as "black". If you do, you will lose all your supposed friends and circle. It's their rules, and, well, you know the score. They are your friends if you dance to their musical score.
I think that wherever you go, you will feel like a stranger in a strange world. Even, if that world is JW land.
All the best PP. Every one has to do what they think is best for themselves. I notice that you feel constrained to share your intentions on this forum so wonder what you're reasons are, given that it primarily consists of posters who have left.
Are you seeking validation (e.g., understanding and approval)? Are you hoping that your notification will bolster your intention to return (there's reseacrh that shows that people who announce what they intend to do such as going on a diet are more likely to carry it out because they've made a public statement)? Are you hoping someone here will present reasons why you shouldn't return?
Whatever your reasons, to me the matter is perfectly simple: If you believe the JWs have the "Truth" and their values are in full accord with yours, I can see why you would feel the need to return.
You do seem to be surrounded by stereotypical "worldy" people - and your disdain for them is clear. Have you looked wider than your employment network? Not everyone "in the world" is obsessed with "fleshly" things, to use a JW term. The world is so much more richer, varied and complex that some religious groups portray it (but, hey, I have started to "argue" with your intention). All the best!
I think if you got a cold glass and poured a Leffe Tripel ... your attitude would change.
Rub a Dub