Another Elder

by burnedout 94 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Cadellin

    Welcome, burnedout. I'm the wife of an elder as well as the daughter of one, so I can totally relate to the "other side" of your story. My husband is wonderful and I love him dearly but he refuses to even consider any evidence of the duplicity and dishonesty of the WT. I see him barreling through some evenings in a flurry to get his parts ready or take care of congregational things, sometimes very stressed out. He keeps himself so buried in it that he can't see the forest for the trees, if you see what I mean.

    As I've said before, it continues to surprise me how it is the men who wake up first, in so many (though not all) cases, but perhaps being on the inside as an elder has something to do with it...

  • snakeface

    Welcome, burnedout! Here you'll find support from real friends who can truly understand and empathize.

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    As your story gently makes its way around the world (thanks internet), passing from time zone to time zone,

    I'd like to add my welcome to you burnedout.

    I look forward to hearing your views on the many things discussed here at JWN

  • stuckinamovement
    Cadellin- perhaps being on the inside as an elder has something to do with it...

    In retrospect, if I wasn't appointed an Elder I probably would not have seen the hypocrisy and duplicity in "God's Org". As an elder I dealt with the legal dept on occasion and saw how the org was just interested in covering its ass. I saw the HLC in action strongly encouraging the use of all fractions available. I saw the discord within the BOE and I saw Elders who were supposedly under the direction of the spirit commit incredible wrongs and continue to serve. And the the icing on the cake was the crazy new Elder book and KM school this fall. None of this would have happened if I wasn't an appointed man. I would probably be just floating along happy in my misguided belief that this was the one true religion with God's Spirit on it.

    I think that is why so many elders are resigning. They see that the organization is not everything it claims to be. Most of the elders I know are stand up dudes, and are sincere. I think that is why so many like Burnedout, Punk, Cantleave, Massey, myself and others are standing up and stepping down.


  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    stuckinamovement and cadellin:

    I'd just picked up on the same phrase and was thinking of something to say.

    I'm all in agreement with you.

  • willyloman

    Burnedout: I wish you all the best on this new spiritual journey that will set you free in ways you cannot imagine. Your story is my story; I was an elder for more than 20 years and was conducting the WT Study when I discovered this site and started reading. It changed my life. I walked away with no regrets and took my wife and grown children with me. We have never been happier. There is life after the Watchtower!

    Take the advice you're getting here and keep reading, keep "studying" the truth about the Truth, and you'll find what you've been looking for.

    "Crisis of Conscience" is an immediate must read; don't delay. It will open your eyes and confirm your suspicions and you will realize as you're reading it that the author is your brother, in the best sense of the word.

    You've shown great courage. Keep moving forward!

  • BluesBrother


    May I add my name to the club of ex elders on this board.. I can empathise so much with your story . I stood down in the late nineties being sickened by the politics, back stabbing and unchristian attitudes of my fellow elders. I also had issues with the beliefs , a lot of them I just did not accept any more (the scary thing was that I could still deliver an enthusiastic talk, What does that say about me?)...The time came when I could no longer be a hypocrite and resigned.

    Since then I have lost faith in the rest of their beliefs ....I still attend sometimes since my wife is a true blue Witness, but I just warm the seat and take no part. Even the words of the songs would stick in my throat.

    So, keep coming here, keep posting, there is so much to learn and so much to share.....

  • TheListener

    Welcome BurnedOut. I'm glad you found this site. I also felt burned out and had to take a step back to regain perspective. I still have my wonderful family but it can be tough at times. If your wife is like mine she will be loyal to you but not truly understand/agree with your position on things. Don't push her too much too fast.

    I wish you the best on your journey.

  • itscrap&theyknowit!

    BURNEDOUT- I am so happy (as I type this with tears in my eyes) for you and your decision...FOR THE LOVE OF JEHOVAH AND YOUR FAMILY!!!!!!!

    I am glad that you have had an awakening, after all these years, to enjoy life............YOUR LIFE!!!! I read the part where you said you would scream at your family simply trying to get ready to leave for the KH. It reminded me of the fear I had of displeasing my husband if I was running late from work to travel 13 miles home, to get our 2 young children ready for the meetings in cold frigid weather and travel back to the meetings (13 miles out of our territory to attend the KH that HE grew up in...)! I wasn't afraid of Jehovah. I was afraid and stressed out and sick to death to hear my father-in-law or any of the 'friends' call my husband at work or on his cell to tell him that I and the kids has 'just arrived' after being 30 mins late to the meeting. I would get demeaned everyday for years due to the craziness/control of this religion.

    It makes me feel really good to know that you stood up to the organization for the sake of your family and the love of your family!!!!! I wished my husband had done this YEARS ago. We would still have a family...I would still have a marriage.

  • itscrap&theyknowit!

    ....and I saw Elders who were supposedly under the direction of the spirit commit incredible wrongs and continue to serve.

    @stuckinamovement - This is primarily one of my reasons for nolonger wanting to be in this organization. I saw things first hand with my husband, his father, his brother, his friends....all elders and ministerial servants doing MANY things they had no busy doing as Men of God. I have no respect for an organization that REFUSES to see the selfishness these men put their families through and above all, the VILE way of life they lead.

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