I didn't read through all the post so it might have been repeated already but do a lot of research.
You said your former church did a lot of bad things around the world, well so did watchtower but members know very little about it or just deny it as false accusations by the world, satan or former members. Their typical reply.
They found you in a weak state and they used this against you. I was a Catholic at a young age when I was conned into this cult as well so I sort of know where you're coming from as I too didn't like the catholic child abuse coming to light. What happens to a new one usually is they show you beautifully packaged dream where you would like to live forever and ever young. If this appeals to you, you won't think too deeply about this Utopia as everything will be solved by God..... You get a "bible study" going, you go to the meetings and everyone tries to encourage you - you feel like these people are the best friends in the world. Soon enough you "know" your non-jw friends are bad association, you former church is controlled by Satan so you find home amongst the "true friends" the witnesses. Now that they are pushing to to get baptised and you don't like this push, they scream that it's Satan testing you and it's always before or right after baptism that Satan test's you just like Jesus in the bible...... Well, if you stop studying now, you will be encouraged for a while before they write you off and you will lose all the so called witness "friends" while you left your old friends. Your old friends will still take you back while witnesses will not unless you return to studying and eventually get baptized. Old friends will also forgive you for your arrogance that many show when they leave old friends behind and attach themselves to witnesses - humility does help.
Well, here you are. Lucky for you, you aren't baptised and doesn't sound like you're family are witnesses which is A BIG PLUS. At this point I assume that you still are leaning towards Watchtower teachings which may take a bit of time to deprogram out of your system once you realize you've been conned. You are free to ask anything you want here and you will be guided in the right direction. Here are some few points you may want to research yourself and come to know you've been conned as most witnesses are also by a concept that is based on a false hope and fraud.
Fall of Jerusalem to Babylonians 607BC vs 587/6BC as everyone outside Watchtower believes. Without 607 there is no 1914 and there is no choosing of Watchtower's faithful and deiscrete slave. (important even if you don't know the watchtower's history)
1874 - Watchtower taught this date as Jesus return for some 50 years!!!!
1878 - taught that Jesus took heavenly power and changed to 1914 in 1922
1799 - they taught this as beginning of the last days until 1920s
1914 - was simply end of gentile times and supposed to be end of the world calculated based on totally different ideas than it's implied today
1925 - another end of the world prediction when was taught that bible faithful would be resurrected
1975 - another date very strongly implied in publications and at assemblies to be the end of the world while people at the time spoke of the end of the world.
You can also research non date scandals like:
Brooklyn eagle vs Russell lawsuit, Beth Sarim story, Olin Moyle lawsuit, Tacoma parking lot scandal, UN affiliation through NGO, Child Abuse Lawsuits, Mexico army bribes oked while Malawi party cards not oked scandal.
There is more, and all this within 130 years history within a relatively small group of people claiming to be God's chosen representatives on earth.
a good side you should check out is jwfacts.com where you can find resources for your research. Good luck
