by AGuest 138 Replies latest jw friends
Hmmmm. Well, I would say no more than your comments show that you have jumped to a very wrong conclusion because you obviously didn't READ what transpired and are now trying to find fault... when there is none. Which truly isn't the case... is it?
Oh, Shelby, are you becoming presumptuous in your opinion of fellow posters when they merely ask you a question? Do you assume hostility when there is none?
Given dear Miz'ry's own response, dear BP (peace to you both!)... I would say I read him exactly right! Perhaps the error is yours, in that you don't have adequate knowledge of what may have transpired in similar threads (which may have occurred weeks ago, but are somewhat continued here?).
Apparently, the dear Rooster and I understand one another (as evidenced by our last comments), dear BP. My apologies and I do not intend to offend, but perhaps it is you who doesn't have all the facts?
BUT... I sincerely wish you peace!
A slave of Christ,
SA
Dear aguest,
Thank you for responding to my post, but it seems like you did not answer my question. I hope you aren't being offended but when I read your posts, it looks like your lord supports you deceiving this guy. What I mean by this is first, you had a problem with his breath (makes sense). Then, instead of telling him the truth of how you feel, you decide to hide that from him (basically deceive him) by offering him candy (I am assuming you were not doing an early trick or treating and happen to come across him). Then, on this board you post your question asking for assistance. People said maybe you should tell him the truth in a constructive way. You go to him and instead of addressing your concerns (his breath and also, now, his illness) you avoid the one and discuss the other. It seems like for some reason you really want to avoid telling him "your truth." Then when you talk to him on the phone, instead of mentioning your truth to him your lord, at some point, had intervened and advised you to not tell him the truth (your issue with him), but instead to see a doctor. I agree (if what you are saying is true) that maybe he should go see a doctor, but I find it disturbing (or even convenient) that not only did you avoid telling him the truth for a few weeks (which is understandable, who wants to tell people that?) but now your lord gets involved and instead of telling you to be honest with this guy in a kind way and tell him to see a doctor, he helps you continue your deceit (hiding your problem with him from him) and gives you a scapegoat to only go see a doctor. My question again is, why would he do this? I don't know the lord to be deceitful, especially for something that could really help someone. Now if you are considering that maybe it wasn't your lord who spoke to you, that too could be a possibility. But I think only you could answer that.
Shelby, what "facts" are you talking about, and what do they have to do with my comments to you?
I see the field hands are at it again.
You better know it, mister!
It was the field hands who delivered the babies, nursed the sick, cooked the food, organized labor groups, looked after widows and orphans, and made sure no one went unnoticed or unloved.
I'm proud to be the daughter of field hands.
Syl
well put Syl
Dear aguest, Thank you for responding to my post, but it seems like you did not answer my question.
I understand how you might think that, dear Check (peace to you!), but it truly isn't the case. I answered as to what my Lord directed me to do.
I hope you aren't being offended but when I read your posts, it looks like your lord supports you deceiving this guy.
I truly do not "see" how you see that, but...
What I mean by this is first, you had a problem with his breath (makes sense).
Yes.
Then, instead of telling him the truth of how you feel, you decide to hide that from him (basically deceive him) by offering him candy (I am assuming you were not doing an early trick or treating and happen to come across him).
Not telling someone that they are offensive-smelling is not being deceitful, dear one. Telling someone ELSE that they smell offensive, then telling them that they don't... or denying that you did think so... is deceitful. Refraining from telling someone that their odor, looks, mannerisms, appearance, etc., isn't deceitful. It's kind. And, truly, such things don't really matter... the grand scheme of things. His bad breath wasn't going to add... or take away... one cubit from MY lifespan. It just made my particular day difficult. But not absolutely unbearable. What you're suggesting, however, is that my Lord would have said, for example, to someone with leprosy... or gangrene... whose rotting flesh "stank"... "Look, dude, I'm going to heal you but you really need to go and take a bath, first." Seriously?
Then, on this board you post your question asking for assistance.
Yes.
People said maybe you should tell him the truth in a constructive way.
Yes.
You go to him and instead of addressing your concerns (his breath and also, now, his illness) you avoid the one and discuss the other.
Nope. Go back and read the account, please. No, wait... I will post what occurred for you here:
[Edited to add: Ah, well, no talk today. When I went to do it he snuffled, then blew loudly into a [very] spent tissue... then snorked and coughed. Had been doing it all morning. So... I sent his butt home! Now, I'm thinkin'... mayhaps a [very bad] sinus infection?? I don't recall his breath smelling so bad, say, a couple weeks ago. It does seem to be a fairly recent matter. Told him do NOT come back until he was well. Seriously...]
See? No avoidance. The guy was obviously sick (he even said that he didn't feel good)... and so his breath was not my first concern. I marvel, though, that you think that it should have been, even under the circumstances...
It seems like for some reason you really want to avoid telling him "your truth."
Well, yeah! And so what? I really want to avoid telling you "my" truth, too... and so I am refraining. Because I don't want to hurt YOUR feelings, either. But... so what?
Then when you talk to him on the phone, instead of mentioning your truth to him your lord, at some point, had intervened and advised you to not tell him the truth (your issue with him), but instead to see a doctor.
Because, apparently MY truth (that his breath was offensive)... wasn't necessary... or required. Rather, what WAS required... was a little compassion. Born out in concern for his HEALTH. I still don't see the problem...
I agree (if what you are saying is true) that maybe he should go see a doctor, but I find it disturbing (or even convenient) that not only did you avoid telling him the truth for a few weeks (which is understandable, who wants to tell people that?) but now your lord gets involved and instead of telling you to be honest with this guy in a kind way and tell him to see a doctor, he helps you continue your deceit (hiding your problem with him from him) and gives you a scapegoat to only go see a doctor.
You're kidding, right? You have a PROBLEM... that my Lord didn't tell me to tell the young man the truth that his breath stank but instead told me to tell him to see a doctor? You have a problem with that? Sigh... dear Check, if my Lord told everyone every single truth about them... he would have had no disciples. And if he told ME to tell everyone every single truth about them... well, starting with you, I can tell you that you wouldn't be able to take it. That one KNOW a truth does not mean one HAS to say it. If that were the case, my Lord wouldn't have warned us against casting our "pearls" (of truth)... before "swine." And you can take that however you wish.
My question again is, why would he do this?
Because telling the young man that his breath stank... when there is a perfectly logical reason for it (corruption in the flesh)... is unkind and unloving. Because there is no point, if the matter can be resolved WITHOUT telling someone they stink. Because... it wasn't necessary to tell him. And the list goes on.
I don't know the lord to be deceitful, especially for something that could really help someone.
See, you don't even realize what you said, here. My Lord DID help: he told me to tell the young man to see a doctor. And neither he nor I was deceitful. HE was kind... and allowed me to be, as well. Perhaps he knew how the young might react. He certainly knows him better than I. The man is not an anglo so maybe in HIS culture it WOULD have been an offense to say something. Who knows? Who... cares???? You are seriously straining out a gnat, here...
Now if you are considering that maybe it wasn't your lord who spoke to you, that too could be a possibility.
Ah, yes... but I am not considering such a thing at all. Never would. Because THAT... would truly be deceit. Deceiving myself first... and then those who read the post, were I to say that it did not happen. Surely, you get that, right, because SURELY... you're not suggesting I deceive YOU and the kind folks HERE? Right?
But I think only you could answer that.
And so, I have.
Again, peace to you.
A slave of Christ,
SA
I agree with Shelby here. HR can be a delicate tight-rope. It's not about being blunt with your personal perceptions.
Things might be different (And then again, they might not...) if she was the CEO or owned the whole damn company, but for the average HR manager, employees are a valuable resource that do not belong to you personally.
Shelby, what "facts" are you talking about, and what do they have to do with my comments to you?
My sincere apologies, dear BP (peace to you!)... for the delay in responding (interrupted by boss!) and for misunderstanding which poster you were referring to. Now that I have a minute... and believe I know what you referring to, let me try again, please. Thank you!
are you becoming presumptuous in your opinion of fellow posters when they merely ask you a question?
Truly, no, not at all. Not even when they do more than merely ask a question.
Do you assume hostility when there is none?
No, not usually. I do, however, assume it when it's present... or appears present... based on the appearance of accusations and/or false presumptions/assumptions presented negatively. I think most folks make the same assumptions.
How's that?
Peace!
SA, on her own... and with apologies to the dear Rooster!
Cockadoodle Doo!!!!!! LOL
