SBC: So a single pop to the rear constitutes a "beating" and "physical abuse"? That would mean I "beat" my wife occasionally when I walk into the kitchen and she's bent over getting something out of the fridge.
CJ: What a logic in your statement. you spank your wife to show her how much you want her or love her not to point out her faults.
CJ, I was exaggerating to make the point that I think people need to be careful as to how they word things. Hitting someone who pisses you off is different from sitting down and talking to a child to explain what they did wrong, then popping them on the rear with an open hand, through clothes. I was using hyperbole to make that point.
If someone saw me pop my daughter on the rear when she was little and started telling others I was BEATING or PHYSICALLY ABUSING my child, we'd have a big problem. Child abuse is abhorrent to me. My frustration is when people don't differentiate between hitting, beating, and spanking. To me, those words are not interchangeable and imply very different temperaments. The parent's attitude while administering the discipline should always be considered.
Here's my beef: This thread started out suggesting people call 911 when they see kids being "beaten" at the hall. I asked for a definition of "beating". It was equated with as little as a "pop on the rear." So that sounds like the advice is to call the police if you see someone pop their child on the rear. I'm not arguing that beatings should be okay. I'm suggesting common sense as to how we label things.
My wife and I no longer feel spankings are the most effective means to punish our daughter but even when we did, we always explained WHY she was being disciplined. But after leaving the org, we did our own thinking and research and took on a new perspective, like BD's:
My qualm with spanking is that it teaches that hitting is ok when someone does something legitimately bad. It also is not the most effective way of training.
At this point, though, I do not automatically consider child-spankers to be child abusers. Like other things in life, it is not that black and white to me.
