Definitely getting DF'ed now

by notverylikely 150 Replies latest jw friends

  • notverylikely

    Shelby, I appreciate your feedback. I have zero intention of continuing with the WT, real, fake or otherwise. She made it clear that it's over between us. It's over. I will be DF'ed in absentia, we will be divorced.

  • AGuest

    Dearest NVL... I understand. My sincere condolences... to all of you and may the Most Holy One of Israel, JAH of Armies... bless you... and your family... and give you all whatever strength... wisdom... and peace... you need to carry you through this... through His Son and Christ, the Holy One of Israel and my Lord, JAHESHUA MISCHAJAH... if you so wish it... and even if you don't ask for it. Truly.

    YOUR servant, and a slave of Christ,


  • OnTheWayOut

    I read a quote recently-

    You cannot have the rainbows without the blues.

    In order to have your joys, you are going to have to have your sorrows. Strength to you through your trying time.

    If you want to talk, anytime Saturday would be best. Sunday would be okay, too. Friday if you cannot wait.

  • GLTirebiter

    NVL, I'm sorry it's come to this painful turn for you.

    Now is time to look out for your children. Most important, don't put them in a position where they are pressured to take sides with one parent or the other--and don't let your wife make them do that, either! Neither of you should be telling them details of why you're breaking up, about who did what to whom, or speak ill of the other parent (even if it is true, don't put children in the middle of adult disputes).

    It may sound odd, but splitting up means you and your wife must now work together more than ever as parents. The worst part of a break-up is the effect on the children. Do what you can and must to take care of them, physically financially and emotionally. Expect to turn the other cheek many, many times--just remember that now you're doing it for the sake of your children, not for your wife.

    It starts out rough, but trust those who have been there, with patience and time it will improve. Call out on the board when you need support.


  • yknot

    Prayers for you and your family as yall traverse this tribulation.....

    Don't allow yourselve the 'bad guy' persona for long, admit your mistakes to the kids and be the best dad ever!

    Do lots of fun stuff, have birthdays, take them to worldy things they have been denied......

    Be willing to be patient if their is hesitancy on their part ( I was uber at my worldly dad's growing up)....... explain your position and show them WT lit when doing so...... this is your right as a parent to influence your child religiously just as she may take them to the KH and proclaim your DFd status.


  • transhuman68

    Too many changes all at once. Getting DF'd, losing your half- friends, your family; and moving out will be traumatic and life-changing. You might consider staggering these events so they don't all happen at once.

  • Gregor

    This is a goddam mess. Trying to expose the WT as a false religion is tricky enough. But if you've just confessed to adultery it is just about impossible. Don't know you or your wife but if you can't set down and try to sort this out you might just throw in the towel. Don't envy your situation.

  • jamiebowers
    Basically she said there was no trust left (me smoking, cigars, other shit over the years, her hating drinking at all, me loving a few drinks, the apostacy, the adultery) and nothing to build on.

    I hope you don't let that list get you down on yourself. There's not a thing wrong with any of those things in moderation except the adultery...however there were extenuating circumstances on that one. Anyone who refuses their spouse sex is just asking for adultery. It's just stupid, stupid, stupid.

  • boyzone

    Sorry to hear of this crap you're going through for you. Just love those kids of yours and keep reassuring them


  • Pistoff

    Best wishes NVL

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