My sucky situation

by brotherdan 98 Replies latest jw friends


    "I guarantee you that this is a counterfiet gospel."

    You really haven't said anything as to why you think this other than you just do. You would have to present something. There are some reconstructionist churches that are a bit closer to the truth than mainstream Christianity but they still adhere to doctrines that don't make any sense nor do they have God's spirit.

  • Quandry


    Many WT magazines over the years have stated that Jehovah hates a divorce. This is so even when one is married to an apostate. She should be reminded of this. She does not have grounds if you agree not to discuss religion. You are not a spiritual danger if you keep your thoughts to yourself, as hard as this may prove to be.

    I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. You'd like to feel that you are close enough to discuss anything in your heart with your wife, and I am sure that it hurts that you can't.

    However, patience is called for. Try to calm everything down for awhile. Read alot of the posts on this forum. Some have, through kindness and patience, been able to help family members out of the org.

    In the meantime, fix dinner, rub her back, help with the cleaning, and tell her you love her.

    Don't let them take your family. Fight for them.

    Hope the best for you.

  • yknot


    Why not stick to the topic about his relationship......

    You can PM him or start a new thread about your wanting to lead him to a belief system a bit later.

    (again can you tell me why you aren't preparing for tomorrows CBS/TMS/SM?)

  • brotherdan

    I understand you My posts were not trying to prove any particular point. I can do that in a different forum. To be honest it would be hard to fit all the reasons that I have for not believing the Watchtower on 1 post.

    But if you would like very simple examples of why I feel the way I do here you go (Remember, these are SHORT examples and are not thorough arguments):

    1. Deut 18:20-22 defines a false prophet. The WT has repeatedly been guily of falsly prophecying in Jehovah's name

    2. The WT claims that they were appointed as the Faithful slave in 1919 following Jesus inspection during 1918. An examination of the teachings at that time make it impossible to believe that Jesus would be pleased with what he found.

    3. The WT has, in numerous cases, used a double standard. Their involvement with the UN is one example. The situation in Malawi is another.

    4. They have changed the word of God to fit into their own theology. Col 1:15 is a great example. The word (other) was never in the text. To make matters worse, they have, in their most recent 2006 version of the NWT, removed the brackets to make it appear as if it WAS in the original text!!!! The scriptures say that if 1 jot was removed or added to the Word of God, that one will be destroyed

    5. They do not match the 1st century Christian congregation. This one has many facets, but just one example can be the way they handle judicial hearings. There was no provision for a locked committee meeting to be done with those who were suspected of a sin. In fact, it was to be a public hearing before the entire congregation.

    So Alice, please don't imply that I don't have a reason for feeling the way that I feel. I have no interest in reconstructionist churches. I put in my fare with Jesus Christ. Men will always let you down. But He won't.

  • OnTheWayOut

    It was probably all too much too fast for your wife. Don't promise any type of JW behavior, don't promise to be a publisher or even to go to an occasional meeting. But you can promise you will respect her right to be a JW. You can go to the elders and say you are not doing anything that should make her leave you, and you will stop trying to prove to her that WTS is not the truth. If you go that route, you will probably be DF'ed, but that might work to keep your marriage and to keep some control over your kids' future.

    If you can avoid the elders and convince her on your own, marriage counseling will help. Not JW counseling, but professional. Tell her how you are willing to work to save your wonderful marriage and will go without her if she refuses. Put all the effort in on your side.

    One more book: RELEASING THE BONDS; EMPOWERING PEOPLE TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES. It will help you to learn how to talk to your wife without triggering cult reactions.

    There will be vast opinions here, mine is just another. Weigh them out and think about what you need to do.

    Edited to add: Don't waste too much energy arguing with Alice. You know what you know.

  • rnicole76

    don't think it is easy to share your thoughts with your wife and expect for her to believe that it is not the truth. She has to find out on her own. Hopefully one day she will. I think the elders will know about why she may wants a divorce since you never committed adultery. The elders may ask questions on it to your wife and she may tell them that you have apostate like attitude and possibly get you df'd for it. I don't know too much about that. I'm sure other members will know about that situation. If your family members are in the truth and since you have children with her, i say just drop the subject and stop going to the meetings.

  • DaCheech

    when I tell people that my wife has threatened the same, they doubt me.

    I don't doubt you, and wish you luck!

    I, on the other end have chosen to play the game

  • DaCheech

    don't pay attention to reniaa/alice. she will call you a liar by the time she's done with you

  • brotherdan

    It's ok. I know how to argue without getting mad. I don't really understand some of her points though... They seem to

  • Dagney

    Ahhhh, love...brotherdan.

    No two people love the other the exact same way. We cannot expect them to, really, we can't. We can/should only love them the best we know how; we have no control over how the other decides to love.

    You are able to accept changes in a mate you love, be it physical or spiritual. Your wife may not choose to. What she wants in her life, at least how it seems at the moment, is a JW household. I did also, many years ago, and made the biggest mistake of my life. Oddly, (I'm having a very strange year), after many years, we may have a second chance. I think love really does conquer all, but two have to work at it or nobody wins.

    Yes, you are right...growth and learning is a part of life for the person that is interested in growing and learning. Plenty of people are not interested, JW or not. They just accept what they want to and do not want for more. We cannot change them, and frankly, we shouldn't want to, IMHO. And we are talking our life as we know it as JW's. Until I was ready to accept it, I had no desire to entertain any contrary thoughts about the WTBS, even though I knew its faults.

    Try to find clarity of thought and action as to what is best for you. IMHO, when your actions are in line with the real you, then you can be an effective father, husband, ex-husband, whomever you need to be. Search for that and don't get caught up with "shoulds" or emotion. The path will become clear. No rush decisions here, only clarity.

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