No two people love the other the exact same way. We cannot expect them to, really, we can't. We can/should only love them the best we know how; we have no control over how the other decides to love.
You are able to accept changes in a mate you love, be it physical or spiritual. Your wife may not choose to. What she wants in her life, at least how it seems at the moment, is a JW household. I did also, many years ago, and made the biggest mistake of my life. Oddly, (I'm having a very strange year), after many years, we may have a second chance. I think love really does conquer all, but two have to work at it or nobody wins.
Yes, you are right...growth and learning is a part of life for the person that is interested in growing and learning. Plenty of people are not interested, JW or not. They just accept what they want to and do not want for more. We cannot change them, and frankly, we shouldn't want to, IMHO. And we are talking our life as we know it as JW's. Until I was ready to accept it, I had no desire to entertain any contrary thoughts about the WTBS, even though I knew its faults.
Try to find clarity of thought and action as to what is best for you. IMHO, when your actions are in line with the real you, then you can be an effective father, husband, ex-husband, whomever you need to be. Search for that and don't get caught up with "shoulds" or emotion. The path will become clear. No rush decisions here, only clarity.