My sucky situation

by brotherdan 98 Replies latest jw friends

  • asilentone

    Welcome to the board! If you do not mind, would you please explain your avatar? P.S. you have 10 posts a day since you are a newbie, I am sure you will get more than 10 posts a day eventually.

  • zoiks

    Hi brotherdan! Your situation is a tough one, and I wish you the best. I have no advice, but you should know by now that a lot of folks have faced similar situations and come through with family intact and happy. That in itself is reason to hope!

  • Simon

    I was in a similar situation - finding out the truth about 'the truth' but my wife not wanting to believe a word of it.

    Difficult times but she came round. Don't give up.

  • ziddina

    WelcomeTo the board!!

    rainbow dragon


  • sherah

    Welcome to the board! All the good-advice-giving heavy hitters have responded in this thread (with the exception of one), you are in good hands.

  • moshe

    You have a 3rd option- get you and your wife into marriage counseling. The first goal of the counselor is to get your wife to admit that you have a right to your religious beliefs and she has a right to her religious beliefs. Once you agree to this, then the ball is in her court. Assumming she doesn't want a divorce, the counselor will attempt to help you stay together. In the case of my JW wife, she decided by the 2nd visit to the counselor that she did not want to answer any more questions or explain her reasons for treating me like an evil and dangerous person- of course a JW looks silly to a non-JW when they try to articulate why an apostate is a dangerous spouse. Anyway, I kept going to the counselor and those visits helped me get my act together and prevented me from giving away the farm in the divorce. Good luck.

    added- I had two young children to worry about 9 and 11. My wife had already demonized me in their eyes and they had fully sided with her.The counselor explained how I could defuse the situation and win them over. It only took a couple of years. My wife gave up her rights to my pension as she wouldn't be needing it- new sytem of things you know. I am cashing 100% of that check every month and I know it must eat at her when she thinks about letting me off the hook 21 years ago. I am way better off without this woman, who has gotten more weird as she gets older.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    You have my sympathy.

    Frankly, my situation is not very similar to yours at all, so feel free to take what I say with a pound of salt.

    If your JW wife no longer wants to be married to you, why would you want to remain in such a situation?

    One thing you should do is inform her that since you are a wicked apostate, you are sure that she will not be looking to parasitize you and take your wicked apostate money.

    Are there kids involved?

    Tell her that she will be on her own, "trusting in Jehovah" and not in her apostate EX-husband. Call her on her hypocritical wish to "suffer for righteousness' sake."

    Many here are far less "difficult" than I am and will urge you to give in and let your wife take your self-respect.

    I'm not going to advise that.

    EVERYONE here has gone through some kind of personal crisis to gain their freedom from the WTB&TS.

    EVERYONE here has survived, and you will be able to survive and thrive too!

  • poppers

    So, what did you post on youtube?

  • sooner7nc

    Welcome to the board brotherdan! We're very glad to have you and wish you the best in the Lil' Piece pf Hell you're going through. Marriage is hard enough without having this wacky little cult to muck things up. Keep your head up and take care of your kids and you'll be alright. By the way, don't pay any attention to Alice Rachel. Hmmm...we need an emoticon for cuckoo.

  • BabaYaga

    Dear Brother Dan,

    I am so very sorry this is happening in your life and family right now. I hope for your sake and the sake of your loved ones her anger subsides and soon.

    I have only read the first page of the comments, so this has probably already been suggested, but pick up one or both Steven Hassan books "Releasing the Bonds" and "Combatting Cult Mind Control" as soon as you can. His approach helps immeasurably in dealing with loved ones still in.

    Love, strength, and wisdom to you (and your wife, too.)

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