by serenitynow! 113 Replies latest jw friends

  • serenitynow!

    So sixofnine, you're down with the swirl? How you doing?

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    It's obviously important not to intentionally offend others.

    However, no one person can speak for an entire group of people. No matter who they are.

    All things do not apply to all people all the time.

    Cult Classic

  • tec

    Serenity, I think I was very lucky in my mother. She is a very natural woman. Even though she does do the waxing and the tweezing now. But when she was younger, if it took more than ten-fifteen minutes (to become beautiful) then she just didn't do it. So I think I always had an appreciation for natural beauty, in whatever form it took.

    And SixofNine - if I had hair like #3, that's exactly how I would wear it. (as long as that was fairly hassle free) My husband would probably leave me, but I love it :)


  • snowbird

    I couldn't post on this thread at work.

    Serenity, you did a beautiful and tactful job of elucidating our cultural differences.

    I wear my hair natural, and one time at work, a cute little White girl kept wanting to touch it.

    I let her ... it satisfied her curiosity and kept her busy.

    Two-Third, how many Black girlfriends have you had?

    What does your username mean, anyway?


  • serenitynow!

    I have not used absolutes. But I can speak to general feelings or common issues within my culture. There is a funny blog, there was a thread about it on this site "what white people like." There were alot of generalities. Obviously I know every white person will not like every thing on the list. Some things I could see in the white people I know, alot of other stuff weren't accurate about the same white people. Of course everything will not apply to everyone all of the time. That's impossible, since no two people are exactly alike.

    I've got enough "experience" in my culture to state some things with a degree of certainty.

  • serenitynow!

    BTW, in keeping with the spirit of the thread, I believe that it is important that I acknowledge that I offended some people here. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. I can be a bit intense. I do though hold to my observations and how I feel regarding certain things that have been posted that I thought were culturally insensitive. I really wanted the thread to be informational. I like to try to keep in mind that even though I may not understand why a person feels the way they do, or why they get upset about something I think is trivial, that their feelings are valid, and I think we would all benefit from remembering that.

    And to those who called me preachy, I've heard it before. There's a very good reason for that- it's because I'm bossy, and I'm usually right, so why shouldn't I let everyone else know?

  • serenitynow!

    " Even though she does do the waxing and the tweezing now"

    Tec you gotta wax and tweeze, you just have to. The hairs that grow in awful places, it's a 24 hour job for me to keep up with. I've got tweezers with me at all times.

  • tec

    Yes. I started the waxing. Even though I said I never would. But of course I said that before I got an actual whisker on my chin ;)


  • agonus

    Yeah, well, a black woman touched my hair today, dammit. 'Course, I paid her to cut it...

    OK, seriously: Serenity, I'm asking out of sheer curiosity and ignorance... do you think, given how you feel, Princess Tiana is an appropriate icon for you to use? I know, first black Disney heroine and all, but isn't she something of a stereotype?

    Also, what do you think of the "Boondocks" cartoon? Offensive and funny or just plain offensive?

  • beksbks

    Don't get me started on the relaxers and the hotcombs- when I complained as a child, my mom would say, "honey it hurts to be beautiful."
    My mother burned me with a hotcomb once on the back of my neck when I was a little girl. I still have the scar.

    Ok, I'm using this one comment as an example. I think maybe sometimes you might assume that a thing is a thing, because you are black. But ultimately it's not. I have a burn on my forehead from a curling iron for pete's sake!!! And the real point here is that women are valued for thier beauty. Black, White, or in between, we are taught early on, that our beauty is our worth. What you many not realize, is that white women suffer and are outcast etc. etc. etc. as well as black. Ok, when I was young, 19, I met my husband and all his friends, and busted out of the old JW world. Lived in downtown San Francisco, and we had the most diverse group of friends. Two black guys, one half black half Hawaiian guy, and four white guys, one of whom was my husband. We were runnin' around together in some combination all the time. Roommates with all of them at some point. Ok, that's all to illustrate, that we were close. The one black guy, would bust out with "Nigga Pleeeeeze!" over all kinds of stuff. It was like "You're full of crap", or "You are not serious". hehe. That became normal to me. I would say that to anyone in or out of the group (along with "I'll snatch you bald!" or "I'll beat you like a redheaded stepchild"). It just was. As I got older, and the group faded (ex got all the friends in the divorce. They were his to begin with, so I suppose it's fair), I quit saying any of those things. But darnit I start to all the time!! Then I think, "Oh that will not be received well here". That's messed up in my opinion, because it's pretty much affectionate in my world.

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