My friend got a certified letter saying he is being DF'D

by foolsparadise 83 Replies latest jw friends

  • foolsparadise

    My friends wife just divorced him with no scriptural grounds about a year ago. Kicked him out changed the locks on his own house won't let him see his children. He was living in his truck for two months. He never told me this until after the fact, i would have let him stay with me. So eventually he saved up enough money to get his own apartment. The bad economy hit and he lost his job so he had to get a room mate. He ended up having a "worldly" girl move in to help with the expenses. I personally know the girl and she was not interested in my friend sexually in the slightest.

    His ex wife gets publicly reproved for fucking some worldly dude and comitting adultery. The ex then raises holy hell with the elders about her husbands room mate. He meets with the elders answers there snoozville questions and assures them no fornication took place. They told him thanks for meeting with us you are free to go and the subject is closed. So then one of the elders who just got appointed who was 27 years old got replaced by a 60 year old elder. They start calling my friend constantly. Coming by unannounced to his apartment to tell him he needs to meet with them again to confess. He ignores a month of harrasment and finally tells them to knock it off.

    Then he gets a certified letter saying hes being disfellowshipped. He calls the comittie chairman and says what is going on? The reason they give is loose conduct. He has appealed

    I told him to sue the congregation for discrimination and lack of two witnesses seeing any sort of sin happen and calling him a liar. Whatever happened to actually believing someones word. The letter also used the word disfellowshipped in it. Isnt that term no longer used because of lawsuits for discrimination and shunning? All they do now is announce so and so is no longer one of jehovahs witnesses. I think if he gets an attorney they would at least back of from this sort of bullying harrasment.

    Any thoughts?

  • zoiks


    Legal action is possible, but tricky. If he decides to pursue this, it should be against the elders personally, I believe.

  • palmtree67

    Ya, that's crappy.

    I mean, what if a male JW was gay and had a male roommate move in?

    Would he be disfellowshipped?

  • asilentone

    If he lives with a single woman in the same residence, he is automatically d'fd. End of story!

  • moshe

    BE Happy, they did for him what he couldn't do for himself---Admit that He doesn't want to be a JW anymore.

  • changeling

    In WT land, if it's a known fact that 2 unmarried/unrelated people of the opposite sex sleep under the same roof, it is considered proof of hanky panky.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I'm with Moshe. If he wants to appeal and sue just to give them a hard time, then fine. Otherwise, why fight to stay in an organization that would pull that kind of crap with you? It isn't a problem with just a few misled guys; the problem IS the BORG. They suck in every way imaginable.

    Tell your friend congratulations, he's free of the behavior control, the thought control, the information control, and if he works at it diligently he will soon also be free of the emotional control.

  • blondie

    In the elder's book there is a little known rule that if 2 people of the opposite sex stay under the same roof over night without a chaperone, they can be found guilty of fornication/adultery.



    UNIT 5 (b)


    Strong circumstantial evidence, such as pregnancy or evidence (testified to by at least two witnesses) that the accused stayed all night in the same house with a person of the opposite sex (or in the same house with a known homosexual ) under improper circumstances, is acceptable.

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    Seems like he should take this as an opportunity to move on in life. Appeal committees almost never bring a different outcome. As Blondie pointed out, they have all the 'evidence' they need. It's their religion, they can write the rules as they like. Sure it seems rather calloused and cold, but that's how its works most of the time.

  • AudeSapere

    I rent out a room. Last year a real nice 40-year-old man from Chicago rented it for 7 or 8 months. Caused eyebrow raising from my family. There was NOTHING going on between us. He was amused that anyone had issue with it. We became friends. Nothing remotely sexual.

    The letter also used the word disfellowshipped in it. Isnt that term no longer used because of lawsuits for discrimination and shunning? All they do now is announce so and so is no longer one of jehovahs witnesses.

    The ANNOUNCEMENT is 'no longer one of JW's', but the individual inquestion and the body of elders use the terminology DF v DA in the judicial setting.


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