Being an elder really woke me up. The loyalty to the GB disturbed me. I wanted th shepherd the flock but had to obey pharisee laws from them. If there was a problem I wasn't allowed to use common sense but follow some proceedure in a watchtower or secret letter from WTB$ HQ. I now realise it's all legal stuff to avoid lawsuits (something they disguise as 'bringing reproach on the name of Jehovah (TM) ').
Then there was the problem with HOLY SPIRIT. Another 'invisible' thing the WTB$ say exists when there can be no evidence.
Why were 'wrongdoers' on a JC given for example, a 'public reproof' which was the desicion of the HOLY SPIRIT, then given 7 days to appeal? Was the HOLY SPIRIT on the fritz? Was god so stupid he'd change his mind?
Finally there was the debarcle over buying some land for a new kingdumb hell. We prayed about it and god told us (apparently, although I didn't hear him), we could budget £600k.
Then the CO came along the next week and told us we had misheard god and he had really said it was ok at £650k.
This was a red flag to me. I didn't hear god. I saw no evidence of how he's worked or how the power tripping CO could make such a claim.
........................then there was the 'overlapping generations' and I said : 'Enough's enough. This is all delusional and cultish!'
then I read up to chapter 4 in 'Combatting cult mind control', Steven Hassan and that was all I needed in proof the GB are frauds and who put the BS in WTBS?!?!?!?