by not sure yet 72 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Welcome, Not Sure Yet,
you are very honestly expressing your inner feelings on the board, so why wouldn't you simply let your husband and children read your posts ? that would be a short cut and save you many words of explanations to them. After the first shock they will probably want to discuss openly your, and the whole family's new situation. I can see only benefits to this straightforward way of handling the case.
....I am a born-in....
I still have good memories of certain JW-related things ......
I still retain certain beliefs and customs too.....Because they are my tradition and I am comfortable keeping them.....(for now at least)
But in knowing the truth about the 'troof' I am free from ever feeling guilty, not good enough or fearful again of not being aligned with the WTS.
Your children might be in college now......but soon they will be graduating, getting married and having children...... Are you willing to run the risk of them returning to this publishing company for their family's spiritual upbuilding or perhaps allow them to know that you are happy to see them fellowhship with other denominations that offer a more family/kid friendly atmosphere!
Keep in mind this weeks KM admonishing parents of little ones not to sit in the backroom too often and give them (little ones) impression that it is okay to be noisy.
Hi Not Sure Yet.
Welcome aboard.
There are many honorable ways out, and far fewer honorable ways to stay in.
I am sure you will make the right decisions!
Thanks for posting part of your story!
The Oracle
Welcome not sure yet. Sorry about your story belbab. Wouldn't it be nice if we could truly express ourselves and say what's on our minds and talk open and honestly about our fears and beliefs. I have the same predicament as most on here (with their family). The witnesses have only conditional love and that will always be like that. I look forward to hearing more of your experiences. lol
Etna
Thank you for your comments. You, here on the board, are the very first persons I can openly talk to about my doubts. And I guess many of us wouldn't have needed to come here íf we had a listening ear within the organisation. Oracle, in your biography it states you are an elder, do people approach you freely with there doubts?
Hello "notsureyet." I was at Bethel '69-'74. On leaving Bethel, gradually and in phases, I sorted through my doubts, re-evaluations, and the mazes of the Watchtower. I became "inactive" due to many moves. During that time I had 5 children and because of my children I had to really come to a conclusion as I knew I would have to answer to them someday. By mid-80s, I left altogether, with reading Ray Franz' book, "Crisis of Conscience" which tied it all together to completion.
Now your children are going to university, and never baptized, I can only suspect they have plenty of doubts since evidently they have not done or or chosen the complete committment of baptism, pioneering now, etc. and now appreciating their education value. It sounds like your children and your husband have deep respect for you. I suspect, when you are ready, you will be able to gradually open up your doubts or concerns regarding the WTS to your children and husband and probably with their acceptance.
None of my 5 children were ever baptized and all have put themselves through college (with scholarships, grants and loans) and all have graduated.
Thank you Gayle, for your post. I was moved to read your words as if they were mine. You can relate to my situation in many ways, as others express as well on this board. I'm very pleased with your comments because they give me practical advice qnd none of them have be destructive or bitter. The first step I took was when I visited with my children in my homecountry. I sat them all together and told them they don´t have to proof anything to the brothers, and go ahead concentrating on their studies and be happy, spiritual if they want to in their way. My husband 'ordered' them all to attend with us one meeting during that vacation, and they did show up, on time, and groomed although still a bit wordly looking. I met with all the brothers of my youth and asked the elders not to push my children when they fel like going sometimes...on a sunday or so...because they stopped going now and then, because the elders would bug them. The elders said: I'm watching over your children because they are yours and you are far away, so we take care for you....I told them, begging, please let them free when they show up. They promised and right after the meeting there was one...counseling my daughter who is in medical school....that she should not let the study kill her spirituality. Yet, my beautiful children put up with that and joked about later on.....maybe you are all right and my family is just waiting for me to come forward......you all give me a lot of strenght.
Welcome... you're in good company!
AllTimeJeff, yes we certainly are two different generations of Gilead
But they overlap, right?
Welcome, notsure, welcome. It's a painful transition to make from being "sure of all things" to being...well, not sure of anything. Your concerns regarding your children are valid, but I don't think you'll take anything away from them by being honest. You sound like an incredibly well-balanced, reasonable and caring person and the love and respect they undoubtedly have for you will likely only grow, particularly since it sounds like you didn't force this religion on them in any harsh or critical way.
I, too, am a mother with an elder husband and child. My husband is totally aware of the inconsistencies and dishonesty within the teachings of this organization yet chooses to ignore it. My child is caught b/w two worlds, but I've told him that I will never lie to him, I will always be completely honest with him even if its hard to do. So he knows where I stand and is developing a, shall we say--spirit of critical inquiry?
Cadellin, I realize I've done what you are doing since a long time.....
You wrote: 'My child is caught b/w two worlds, but I've told him that I will never lie to him, I will always be completely honest with him even if its hard to do. So he knows where I stand and is developing a, shall we say--spirit of critical inquiry?'
Twenty years ago I started giving magazins and books away for free, openly, and endured counseling for that. I also declined to teach my children any of the 'Cedar Point Ohio - teachings' and the rest of years 1919, 1935 etc.... Also the idea that all wordly family and friends would die in Armageddon expect ourselfs....I could not stomach teaching my children that..I have said secretely to them that I believe Jehovah loves mankind . And the biggest of all rule against higher education..I've stood up against ofcourse.
