My Wife is demanding that I stop coming to this board. (page 5)

HappyGuy

The WTBTS organization is EXTREMELY dishonest when it comes to headship. They "say" that a believing wife owes her husband deference and obedience and all that in respect for his headship, but then they give the caveat "in all but spiritual matters". But, for a JW their spiritual matters are their entire life. So, what does that leave the non-believing husband - NOTHING. JW elders have no problem making decisions for believing wives while completely ignoring the headship role of the husband. They won't tell a believing wife that something she wasnt to discuss with them is really not their business and needs to be discussed with the HEAD OF THE HOUSE.

I saw what this crap did to my family. My father was a 3rd wheel in his own house. His wife and children were always too busy with "theocratic interests" to spend time with dad.

I don't know, if my wife started getting involved with those people first I would run them off then Iwould tell her I don't want to be in a household where my mate belongs to a cult which brags that they divide households, and I would quote that scripture that the governing body loves to brag about about Jesus saying he came to “ Think not that I came to send peace on the earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law” Matthew 10:34-35.

I think you need to throw all of her words and actions back on her as others have said. Whatever perogatives she is taking for her JW cult you need to insist on the same perogatives.

Also, what we say here about the WTBTS is mostly recouting things that actually happened or pointing out things they actually said. I'm not sure that is "bad mouthing".

Besides if it really is the truth come straight from almighty god what do they have to fear?

Black Sheep

"She says that she does not go around looking for support groups that ‘bad mouth’ my church or religion...

LOL. She doesn't need to go looking, the support group she belongs to does just that. Dubbies are incredibly one eyed.

Black Sheep

... you don't leave your jw crap lying around, I won't leave my apostate stuff around ...

I haven't made that deal. I leave my books lying around. Books about doomsday cults, Manson, Moonies, books quoted by the WT. I never put anything away in the hope that one day she might pick one up and read it. I never change a TV channel if there is a cult related doco on (there have been quite a few lately).

She NEVER leaves so much as an Awake! lying around because she knows damned well I will read it, and comment on it.

Cheers

Chris

Hopscotch

Gary is there any possibility of you and your wife getting some couples counselling. Just saying as it might be a good way for your wife to realise how inappropriate it is to make demands and issue threats (such as cutting off the internet) to your spouse.

It seems you obviously still love your wife and want to keep your family intact. Having an unbiased person assist with some negotiations and personal boundaries within your marriage may help. Of course the further your wife is drawn into the JW cult the harder this may become, but it is not impossible.

Ultimately though, it may come down to you doing what you feel is best for your own happiness and mental health and for that of your children.

Life is too short to waste being unhappy and in conflict.

Wishing you all the best in this difficult situation.

Hopscotch

flipper

GARY- I'm sorry you are going through this. I was married 19 years to a JW woman - and Finally Free is correct - it tends to get worse. If you give in and acquiesce to every unreasonable demand that your witness wife makes of you it won't stop with her just asking you to not come to this board. The snowball effect will begin where she will want to control EVERY aspect of your life ! And as you stated, yes - that will affect your children and HOW they are raised. You give a witness an inch of ground in restricting normal freedoms you have - they'll take a mile every time.

When my witness wife found out I didn't want to reach out for an elders position- she emotionally disconnected from the marriage like I was bad medicine. Your wife is trying to put you under what Steve Hassan calls " information control" because she fears of what you will find out that's negative about Jehovah's Witnesses on the internet. Truth be told - she REALLY fears that you will convince HER of some of these things you are reading about the WT society and witness cult - and she fears it could change HER belief system ! Your wife is taught by the WT society that " the internet ", " apostates ", and " Satan " are all the same thing working for the same purpose - to make her exit Jehovah's Witnesses. She is controlled by fear instilled in her by the organization. THAT is why she gets so emotional and unreasoning.

As Hopscotch said , and others, if you can assure her that you love her and explain that you aren't trying to change her belief system - just trying to inform yourself , then it might calm her somewhat. But if all else fails Hopscotch's advice on marriage counseling is a good piece of advice IF your wife would go. But hold your ground on coming to this site. It's a support group for you - like the witnesses are to her, and she needs to understand that fact. Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

diamondiiz

Since you're not a JW you aren't under any obligation to listen to wts leaders as to view EX-JW as evil! Second, for her to tell you that:

She says that she does not go around looking for support groups that ‘bad mouth’ my church or religion so she does not understand why I go to a group that bad mouths the WatchTower Society.

That's a total lie but she just doesn't get it since she's under wts influence! Everytime she goes to wts meetings she goes to a group of people who bad mouth your and everyone else's religion or church however you look at it! When did wts ever say that some religion has some mistaken beliefs but are alright with God and the people will be saved? WTS says that everyone outside WTS will die at armageddon since God doesn't view others are being true Christians. You can ask her what the difference is between you coming here and her going to the meetings? Plus ask her what lies about WTS have you told her? As long as you baack everything you say about wts with their own publications she can't really say much. My wife still goes to the dubland but I'm sure she knows that they aren't the truth but I think she's scared to admit it. Some people don't want the truth as long as they're happy that's all they care about.

VoidEater

But what I cannot understand is why she is so adamant about my leaving the message board? A few years ago, my wife and I went through turmoil as I was getting visitation rights to my son on the weekends and she got so jealous that it nearly ripped our marriage apart.

You've answered your own question.

It's not a case of respect, it's a matter of control. The only impact this has on her is she cannot revel in a fantasy that you'll come back to The Truth.

dgp

Gary, I'm so sorry to hear this, particularly because I know you were thinking about having a child with your wife. I didn't read all the posts, this time, but I know what my opinion has to be. You have to draw your line on the sand, you know? You have been exceptionally nice, I guess, and she needs to find resistance somewhere. And this isn't so only because this is where you find information about the society, but because any relationship needs to be a compromise. If you always say "yes" to everything, then you eventually get tossed to one side.

Stand your ground on this one.

As Flipper says, she is afraid of the information YOU are finding here, and she's afraid of the fact that she knows she won't get you into the Watchtower for as long as you keep your eyes open. Sorry.

Keeping your eyes open is even a moral duty, you know? You have a daughter who deserves better than the society. No one deserves the society, but your little girl should grow up free.

So sorry that all I can do is offer my moral support. We're all behind you, man.

Finally-Free

You may want to remind her of something mentioned in several JW publications. The "truth" book and "live forever" book come to mind. I don't have them any more, but they essentially say to people who are 'studying' that they should closely examine their religions closely to see if they are true. There is no rational reason why this shouldn't apply to the JW religion as well.

Real "truth" should have nothing to fear from a critical examination.

W

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Okay, so if she doesn't want you to come here, I'm assuming she won't want you going to any of the other "apostate" websites.

But,

What about wikipedia? Is it okay with her if you read ordinary entries in wiki? You know like...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyramidology
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olin_R._Moyle
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Controversies_regarding_Jehovah%27s_Witnesses
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eschatology_of_Jehovah%27s_Witnesses
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah%27s_Witnesses_and_blood
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerusalem#Temple_periods
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babylonian_captivity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Daniel#Dating_and_content

Is it okay for you to read WT publications, such as Studies in the Scriptures and the 1968 Awake! bound volume?

Perhaps she should just start a "list of forbidden reading material".

My Wife is demanding that I stop coming to this board.

Share this