by garyneal 160 Replies latest social family
My first wife was a controlling manipulative Beeeoch, it was not till after my divorce that I was able to say with the
help of my new wife to teach me new England jargon and who was not indoctrinated with Witness bullshit, I love this:
Bitch Please !!
The Watchtower likes to live under the Law of Moses. Accordingly, your wife is your property and your servant. She needs to decide if she is a "proper" wife or some new-age, castrating femi-nazi.
Time for you to grow a pair.
Start telling her to mind her place and bring you another cold beer, and to do so in SILENCE.
If you had a rebellious donkey, you would either train it to behave or get rid of it. You may be on the market for a new ass.
It is easy for the young and single and those with tolerant partners to say "Leave the B***!! or words to that effect...Those of us in long term marriages to devout Witness wives will take a more considered view, no matter how unreasonable they may sometimes be.
I love the words of nugget, above.. Of course you must not stop coming here but it is a time for quiet, firm resolve. My wife too is passionately against "apostasy" and gives me a hard time now and again..but we have an understanding that I may not tell her exactly who I deal with or what I read. She accepts that, and realises that too much knowledge of it may compromise her position in the cong.. so she no longer wants to know.
Just be quietly resolved to continue
Here is what you need.
Written by the man who was MASTER OF HIS DOMAIN and a noted Bible Authority.
Get it here:
http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/home-and-happiness/6120424
I agree with what everyone has said so far about headship and yor wife's unreasonableness, but there's one thing I would like to add:
She says that she does not go around looking for support groups that ‘bad mouth' my church or religion so she does not understand why I go to a group that bad mouths the WatchTower Society.
The above statement is a boldfaced lie. The WB&TS trashes your religion and everyone elses's every chance it gets in their so-called literature and meetings.
Hang tough on this. She has no right to demand anything of you; especially if she wants to be a jw. You are the head of your family, so you make the decisions. According to her beliefs, you could be the biggest asshole in the world, and it's her duty to be a submissive wife. Period!
Believe me, I was physically abused and mentally tortured in every way imaginable by my jw husband. The elders made it very clear that I had no right to even demand feeling safe in my own home or car. I lost my family, friends, home and most of my material possessions when I finally insisted on at least being treated like a human being. There are many others like me.
And another thing...I'm sorry if this offends you, but you should think long and hard about your wife's personality. For an adult to be jealous over a parent's relationship with his or her child is beyond ridiulous. I loved my stepkids by virtue of their birth...they have part of my husband, whom I worship. Resenting them would be resenting him, something I could never do. Shame on her for not doing the same for such a loving husband.
So who is the apostate? If the WTS is wrong, they are the true apostates. And ask her if Catholic and Protestant teachings are apostate just because a former JW uses that to prove the JWs wrong. That would be stretching it. She's not leaving herself too much room. Doesn't she see this line of reasoning can keep her from peeking over the fence in the first place? Quote her the Bill of Rights.
This is how it starts, and it only gets worse. My ex tried to pull this shit with me. It will get to the point where she asks you to leave your own house for an evening so she can feed and entertain her JW friends with the food you paid for. You won't be welcome among them. At best they'll tolerate your presence while they look down their noses at you as they sit at your table and eat your food. Your own friends and "worldly" family will never be welcome.
Remember, she is the one who is changing, not you. Her actions are tearing the family apart, not yours.
I couldn't begin to count how many families I knew that were destroyed by JWs. I only knew of 3 divided marriages that survived, and in 2 cases the husband had to meekly give in and come to meetings. Both were looked down on in the congregations because they never got baptized. In the 3rd marriage the JW wife eventually left the cult. She didn't leave because of her opposed husband. She left because the congregation treated her like shit for not leaving her unbelieving mate.
I ended my marriage because I refused to be treated like a second class citizen in my own home.
W
I was going to say what JamieB just said about them not trashing your religion. The whole foundation of their religion is to trash yours. I am sure Blondie, Yknot or anyone else can give you some WTS quotes that trash the "churches of Babylon," but at the end of the day, I agree with JamieB that the statement "She says that she does not go around looking for support groups that ‘bad mouth’ my church or religion so she does not understand why I go to a group that bad mouths the WatchTower Society." is a bold-faced lie. My mate and I have actually discussed this point, as it really does hurt my feelings to know my church and worship and spirituality are thought of in such an awful way, and I think he actually gets it. On this board, individuals are criticizing the Watchtower, whereas the Watchtower as an organization criticizes mainstream churches and makes that criticism a part of their doctrine. BIG difference.
Also, I know folks on here are telling you to pull the headship card, but if you don't believe in it or in what the WTS teaches, I don't think you should use it. In a warped way, that would add credence to their teaching. I understand the sentiment, but I'd rather win on merit than on a technicality.
Good luck! You seem very level-headed and I'm sure you'll figure this out.
Tell her what I told my jw, "ok, the day you stop going to the kh and associating with 'those' people out of consideration for me and my feelings is the day I will stop researching and talking to so called apostates!" -- Problem solved.
In my house there is an unspoken rule- you don't leave your jw crap lying around, I won't leave my apostate stuff around. That way I don't have to be reminded of jw-ism 24/7 and he doesn't have to see the apostate books, printouts about murders, rapes, child molestation, child sacrifice upon the altar of the wt, etc..etc..etc... He learned a long time ago that if he 'forgets' and leaves something out I will find the most horrendous jw story I can find and leave it out right next to his ungodly rags. The minute he removes his offending reading material I remove mine and not a word is spoken about it. Another problem solved. The house is half mine just like your house is half yours 'ya know. War is hell but if you keep going you can find some sort of truce and even have some good times again.
I should also mention that I do not allow jw's in our home either in or on my property, well, I should rephrase that, he can have them over but then I WILL find Wiccan's (have a seance, etc) or some other group I know he hates with a vengance and have them over! ah yes, another problem solved. One jw in and on this property is quite enough. But that is just me and my family- we don't know any jw's except him.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander and vice versa.
Your wife married a non-witness. SHE has to live with the consequences. She married someone that she knew was bird food at Armageddon, was under Satan's influence, was blah blah blah could go on for ages about what a bad catch you were because of your non-membership.
My wife doesn't get to draw the line in the sand, She knows damned well that if she wants me to change my opinion of the Dubbies, that she is going to have to answer questions that she really doesn't want to confront ... and she knows what those questions are ... and she knows that she is going to have to be honest about it because every time she has tried to deceive me I expose her from her own litterature.
She is not comfortable with my burgeoning collection of WT litterature and the time I spend on this forum. So what?
All she has to do is defend her faith with honesty and integrity, without name-calling, character assassination, double standards or any other propaganda technique described in her official website in the series of articles about propaganda.
Cheers
Chris
