My Wife is demanding that I stop coming to this board.

by garyneal 160 Replies latest social family

  • lovelylil2


    You have a history with your wife and you love her. Like I said, you need to recognize she is reacting out of fear. She may very well think if you leave the org. you will leave her. Try to put yourself in her shoes. You do what you feel is right. No one here knows your wife and her good traits like you do.

    for anyone telling gary he should leave his wife and calling her the B* word, you should be ashamed of yourselves. You are no better than the WT when they label people who disagree with them.

    I stayed calm with my hubby who made demands to me but did not give in and I am glad I did. Things worked out well in the end. Good luck whatever happens I am sending thoughts of peace your way.........Lilly

  • garyneal

    If you are getting bored with me then I suggest you go and read someone else's posts. Perhaps Larsinger can entertain you for a while.

    But to answer your question, yes, I have asked my wife a lot why the WTS professes things that don't seem to be backed up by the Bible. Just tonight, I asked her again about 1914. She came at me again telling me why I should not be on this board and I told her that what I am doing here is no different than what WTS does in its magazines and its meetings. She says I criticize the WTS and by association her and I say that I am only pointing out error. She says I have no right to judge but I say that I have an obligation to point out error. She says that the WTS does not point out errors in christendom and I said what about its recent WT with the front cover entitled 'Six Myths of Christianity?' Are they not trying to point out six 'errors' of Christendom. I can go on but I do question her beliefs and challenge them.

    As for my daughter, I am doing the best I can. Her religion teaches her to view all opposition as validation of her beliefs. She is taught to come under the persecution complex anytime someone gets angry or demands that she stop going to meetings.

    Believe me when I say that I have indeed asked her a lot of the strange beliefs that I've come across. I've challenged her to test these teachings as I have to see if they are really true. Tonight, my wife has made it a point that starting this Friday, we will both go to the library and research the destruction of Jerusalem by Babylon. Then again, why am I explaining myself to you? If you have actually read all of my posts then you would know that I have challenged her arguments and beliefs on multiple occasions. All with the goal of just trying to get her to think. So she is no friendlier than a worldy person, have you examined yourself to see how friendly you are before you started judging others? I'm no saint myself so I certainly have no room to judge or criticize her good deeds or anyone else's.

  • mkr32208

    Tell her to show some of that godly headship before you beat her and kick her and smash her in the teeth... (I'll donate a dollar to charity if you know what movie that is from!)

  • BabaYaga

    Gary said:

    Her religion teaches her to view all opposition as validation of her beliefs.

    You know, I was raised in it, and I have been out for many years. Still, every once in a while something still stuns me regarding how perfectly manipulative and dangerous the Watchtower religion is.

    Gary, your observation is spot-on. Not only are Witnesses taught to fear anything outside of their bubble and taught to fear their own minds ("do not lean upon your own understanding") but as you say, even opposition is proof to them that their beliefs are right.

    Terrifying, really. The tactics in mind control are chilling.

  • boyzone


    Please take no heed to the rude ones on here. I always read your posts and its good to see the progress you're making with your wife. I'm glad you've stood your ground and you'll continue to post on here despite your wife's objections. You have shown remarkable patience and fortitude and I'm sure your efforts will be rewarded. The library trip is an excellent idea - its even a triumph that she's agreed to research with you, so good luck with that and please let us know how it goes.

    As an aside, can I just say that the approach you've taken with your wife has given me an example I can use with my JW parents. I used to be scared of my dad as he got so irate every time I questioned what the WT said. Now I gently but firmly stand my ground, I don't argue with him but point out error that makes him think. He still doens't like it much but at least the seed is planted.



  • garyneal


    My wife and I have been through several skirmishes because she refuses to fall in line with the headship rule. But, ultimately, my views on the matter prevail. Personally, I don't see where I have ever tried to force her to do things that are detrimental when I 'assert' the headship rule, I am just simply trying to do what is best for everyone involved. However, I never try to dictate things without offering a compromise if that is possible. It is a shame the Watchtowerites are trained to love conditionally and be judgemental. Unfortunately, I am seeing some of that here on this board from posters who are railing against me. I guess for some of them, once a JW, always a JW.

    Regarding the situation that happened during the days I had visitation of my son, that is in the past now and she is actually done lots of things for him often without my input. She bought him a back to school kit, thinks of him when she sees sales on pants his size, and is even buying his Christmas gifts even though she is not suppose to celebrate. But, I guess these are things that 'worldly people' do also so therefore it does not count. Keep in mind, that she is doing these things of her own accord as I am not throwing down the headship card and forcing her to do it.

    Yeah, she is out of line and I refuse to compromise on my stopping coming to this board (unless of course she leaves the cult). But I figured the least I can do is do it when she is not around. I don't have a problem with her WT 'rags' laying around the house as I don't fear them like JW's fear demons. There is a Christmas tree in my living room and my daughter went Trick or Treating on Halloween. In spite of the fact that she objected to my daughter eating any of the candy, I let her have some anyway.

  • garyneal

    Oh, and Balsam, just so you know I wasn't saying those things because I thought you were railing against me. I understand what you are saying and as always, I thank you for your feedback. Hopefully, my wife will open her eyes and see the light on the whole blood issue and how twisted the society's teachings are on this matter. My heart goes out to you for what you had to go through concerning the loss of your son to this murderous teaching.

  • garyneal


    She can't cut off my Internet access, I've seen these controlling threats before. The best way for me to deal with them is tell her to do what she feels she has to do. She never follows through with her threats because she knows that it will not be to her advantage.

  • garyneal
    (I'll donate a dollar to charity if you know what movie that is from!)

    Um, X-men?

  • garyneal

    BZ: I wish you all the best in your dealings with your parents. I understand that no one likes finding out that their beliefs are a lie. I know for years I struggled with my beliefs (thanks to them). But what I find strange is how the witnesses want everyone else to critically examine thier beliefs but refuse to critically examine the witnesses beliefs.

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