My Wife is demanding that I stop coming to this board.
Find something, anything that your wife is not in agreement with official WT dogma on- small is good . Keep track of it and build on that. Use it to open a dialogue. Once she has seen that life is OK disagreeing with one small WT teaching find another small thing she can agree to disagree on, and then another. Like water running over a dam, you will break the hold of the WT mentality.
Second, If you live in a larger city see about dance lessons for the new year- a studio that has group classes and dance parties is best. Having something fun to do with her spouse and being among non-witnesses is great therapy for her. JW's don't see how weird they are, because they only hang out with other weird JW's.
Third, find some charity work she will help you with- there are many civic organizations to pick from- helping at a thrift shop,soup kitchen, etc. JW's just don't see how out of wack their ideas about charity work are.
The goal is- I don't agree with all 100% of the WT teachings, JW's are weird - no fun to be around, and JW's don't display the biblical fruits of charity that Jesus commanded- = maybe I don't like being a JW anymore.
Wow, Moshe... that's a great three-step program! Thought it needed reiteration!
That was indeed a great three step program, thank you. I am definitely going to be putting that into practice. The wife wants to put my daughter in ballet classes, I think I should look for dance classes for her and I too. She has been after me to do things like that with her. I think it will really work as the more she gets involved in outside things, the less she has to do with the witnesses.
It's great that you can argue down any witness but does that win hearts? Just arguing them down isn't going to change their minds about anything. Maybe I am not qualified to put JW's in their places but let me ask you this, of all the JW's who you've put in their places, have you ever actually led any of them out of the cult?
Gary, buy yourself some of those black steal cap punk boots. Wear those around the house. That'll show em. And, it's fun, too.
does that win hearts?
It doesn't have to win hearts to be successful. It isn't about recruiting them into another cult, it is about extracting them from cults.
Just arguing them down isn't going to change their minds about anything.
JWs are given the impression that their beliefs are unassailable and that the leadership is honest. John is demonstrating to them that that is not the case.
have you ever actually led any of them out of the cult?
Every time a JW has their faith in the WT shaken by someone with the knowledge and the balls to do it they have to try and put their new cognitive dissonance away somewhere. The more people that do it to them, the sooner their stash overflows. See this thread http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/185606/1/despondant-witness
An old Lutheran took my father to pieces on the immortal soul when I was a kid. My father couldn't see it. He didn't comprehend that he had made a complete arse of himself in front of his son. He still doesn't understand it, but that old Dane demonstrated to me that my father's beliefs were not as defendable as he wanted me to believe. I never did get to believe the WT enough to get baptised. The old boy saved me a lot of shit, God rest his soul.
You wife is lucky to have you Garry and is sure to benefit from your wisdom in researching the WTS.
You are to be commended too for patiently chipping away and deconstructing her unfortunate indoctrination.
Perhaps you can encourage her to be honest with herself and consider the opposing arguments - after all if the JW have the truth then their teachings will be able to stand up to the scrutiny of alternative arguments. At the very least, examining all sides will ensure she is making an informed choice to believe what the JW's teach.
Can I recommend you both read Ray Franz's two outstanding books:
(1) Crisis of Conscience, and
(2) In Search of Christian Freedom.
Both can be purchased in book form or downloadable as PDF's (for privacy) at this address:
He is a very sincere and humble man as well as a devout Christian today. He was a Jehovah's Witness Governing Body member for over nine years and his insights are simply invaluable for anybody wanting to examine the JW religion in an honest and complete light.
If your wife is willing to do research at the library you are already leaps a head of many of us ubm's! Mine wouldn't research because 'his brothers already have done all the research needed'
That maybe so but according to RutherFRAUD I see that in all witnesses and former witnesses on this board who are not immediately coming out concerning their convictions to their friends and loved ones either. Difficult to judge when you don't know the full circumstances.
I hope she follows through with her promises. She does come across as saying that she believes they (WTS) must have done thorough research. I swear, I thinks she believes that they can do no wrong.
I have CoC (good book) and I am going to the Ray's other book (Christian Freedom). I am also going to order Hassan's book that OTWO recommended, I read the preview on Amazon and it looks like it will be a good book.