**** Some people don't teach their children manners. Grrr. ****

by FlyingHighNow 277 Replies latest jw friends

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  John Doe

  Nice bit of patronizing there caliber. I'm sure FHN will appreciate it.
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  caliber

  Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.”

  William Arthur Ward

  Do I flatter or encourage? ... only my OWN heart can tell for sure Just as in the above quote only we ourselves know where we fit in !
• 

  snowbird

  Encourage me, and I will not forget you;

  On my first job at a coffee/bakery shop, I remember being soooooo nervous that I would do the wrong thing.

  A lady came in one afternoon and ordered a cup of coffee to go with her pastry. There was a full pot that had set for a while because very few coffee orders came in the p.m. I didn't know whether to make a new pot or serve the woman the old coffee.

  Just to be safe, and because my boss was a stingy old miser, I served her a cup of the old, bitter coffee. The lady drank it without saying a word. My conscience smote me, but I said not a word, also.

  The next day the same lady came in at the same time. Anticipating that she would do this, I had a fresh pot brewing. She smiled at me and complimented me on my foresight. I, in turn, apologized to her for serving her the sorry coffee the day before.

  We grew to like each other quite a bit, and often laughed about the coffee fiasco!

  I've never forgotten her. I make sure to be encouraging to all who are new at their jobs.

  Thanks, Caliber.

  Sylvia
• 

  TheSilence

  Every time I see a post on this forum where someone comments that some brother or sister at the hall made a comment or gave a look about what someone should be doing differently with their kids I see people get up in arms. Everyone jumps up and down saying what right does does s/he have telling you how to raise your child? Telling you what to teach them? Telling you how you should handle your own children? How self righteous that brother or sister was, how condescending, how wrong of them to presume. So I find it intriguing, to say the least, to see such a different reaction (excepting a few) to FHN doing the exact same thing to a mother and child she didn't even know. Quite honestly I see no difference between the two situations with the possible exception that at least in the unnamed brother or sister's case I can say at least they were *maybe* trying to offer advice that they felt might one day save the child's life at armageddon. I can't even give FHN that benefit of the doubt.

  Everyone is saying how wrong this mother was... but it does not matter. Whether the mother was right or wrong it was a minor thing and therefore does not excuse FHN telling her, implying to her, hinting to her, however you want to soften it, how to raise her children, what to teach her children, what behaviors she should be instilling in her children. If any of you had a witness friend or family member come to you and tell you you needed to be teaching your children about the truth you would be up in arms. So it's okay if it's over a minor piece of etiquette that many people feel is outdated anyway? I don't know, I just find the whole thing very amusing, to be quite honest.

  So I guess my thoughts lead me to wonder... is it that everyone just takes the side of the person they know? Is it that everyone just takes the side that they hear because that's the most pursuasive? Is it that we excuse behavior for others that we won't for witnesses because we have an axe to grind? Because, honestly, I don't get the difference in telling someone what to teach their child, be it etiquitte or religion.

  I don't tell even my brothers or sister how to raise their children, and if I had children I would expect the same courtesy. If they want my advice they are welcome to come ask me for it, but beyond that it's not my business. I am a great aunt, I am here to help, support, and spoil. What the children are taught is the parents' perrogative until such time as they involve me of their own volition in those decisions or give me some responsibilities in those regards. So since I won't do so with someone as close to me as my siblings are, it floors me that anyone thinks it's okay to take that tone, that look, and that attitude with a complete stranger... not even off to the side but right in front of the child.

  Perhaps I'm wrong, I often am... but when you post this to an open discussion forum on the internet you open yourself to all opinions be they logical, considerate, or, as mine often are, out-right crazy. So, again, just my two cents ;)

  Jackie
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Thank you, Caliber.

  I want to say that I'm far from perfect. Like every other human on this earth, I make mistakes through out the day.

  No, I didn't have the urge to tell the woman, "bite me, bitch." Someone has to push me pretty hard for a long time and catch me on the wrong day for me to finally say something approaching that strong. Someone here knows that. It happened recently.

  I think of my reaction and the look I gave the woman as somewhere in between Claire Huxtable and Bernie Mac. I am glad I walked away and resisted the urge to push the issue further. I am also glad that I have a place to express my exasperation, such as JWN.
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  John Doe

  I think of my reaction and the look I gave the woman as somewhere in between Claire Huxtable and Bernie Mac.

  In your dreams. I'm telling you, you're a real life Hyacinth Bucket.
• 

  Finally-Free

  JD always likes to get the last word in, even when he, as always, has nothing worthwhile to say.

  W
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Sylvia, hi. Thank you for this experience, you're a sweetheart and a true lady.
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  John Doe

  I like to think of myself as a cross between Fabio and Brad Pit. I would like to say I'm surprised at all the negative feedback, but unfortunately, I'm not. I can't believe you all are going to pass up this opportunity to teach your kids how to treat a movie making rock star.
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  bluecanary

  I don't know if it's been said, but I think the fact that children were involved is irrelevant. Say the exact same situation happened except that instead of children, the woman told FHN that her adult friends were sitting in all of those chairs and would at some point be returning to them. It is unfair for a group of people to monopolize a public space when they're not even currently occupying it. How she was raising her children has nothing to do with it. Lack of kindness and respect to neighbors is the issue at hand.