OMG When I was dating I was put through such a terrible time. I had to end up going to the doctor for depression and had lost a stone in weight. My now hubby's parents, and his other parent, his brother paul, hounded the life out of us 24/7. They kept us apart (or so they thought for 3yrs). He wasn't allowed to drive me anywhere in the car unless one of them was with us, we had to be chaperoned in the ministry, he wasn't allowed to show any affection to me in their company, and if we sat in the bedroom, which was off the living room, the door was wide open and we would sit there watching the rest of his family watching TV. His dad , an elder, constantly told me how much of a danger I was to his son, because as I hadn't been brought up in the truth then it would be harder for me to resist having sex. He told me that women NEEDED to have sex, whereas men just do it for pleasure. He asked me if I 'understood' what he meant by that. He made me answer him. Basically I was shop soiled and not good enough for him. He had many conversations like this with me between doors in the ministry. So obviously in his eyes I was just a slut. His mum and dad both put people in place to follow us in ministry to spy on us. As his dad was an elder, and would air his 'concerns' at elders meetings, and it was decided that i wouldn't be allowed to put in aux pio form, which I had been doing for months, as we were the talk of much gossip (mainly due to his parents and brother) and so wasn't really in the position of "good example to the congregation. He told me that his sons problems with nose bleeds was to do with me and the "pressure" he was under in his' friendship' with me. He asked me repeatedly to leave him alone. Leave him alone? They made me feel like some kind of pervert. Other elders got their chance to throw in their sarcastic comments to us both no matter the occasion.......like at someones wedding.......the attention was on me and matt as this idiot elder decided yet again to take a pop at us and our relationship. I'd had enough and just broke down. Matt was mad and went and reported him shouting the odds to his dad to do something about it. It caused a scene. This went on for months and months. I was a nervous wreck.
One night in his house, we were doing the family wt study and matt reached over and pulled my hair over my shoulder. His mum and dad went ballistic. I didn't know what had happened but his mum was in tears and his dad was shouting. Matt was so upset and frustrated he ran out the house and left me there with all of them for 2hours. They were yelling....."If you're doing that in front of us , what are you doing when we're not there?" I was 22 at the time. Was forced out of my mums house and had been living on my own. All the elders ganged up on me in support of his dad. His brother hadn't anything good to say about me. I felt so alone and worthless. Even when we got engaged, his brother, came and told him that he didn't know how he could do it , (marry me that is) because if it was him he would find it hard seeing me walking down the aisle knowing that I had been with someone else. I hadn't had a boyfriend for 6years. I wasnt the village prostitute but was made to feel like that.
Anyhow, his super spiritual elder brother, when he started dating........DIFFERENT F#*#ING STORY. He was the 'good' son. The trustworthy one. He never put a foot wrong. Yeah, he could run his girlfriend home anytime......didnt matter that he drove the car at 11pm and the journey was half an hour, but didn't get back till 1:30am...his mum and dad knew that he was only 'talking'. Matt challenged them on this and his dad said. "You leave that boy alone, He's a good boy!" He could sit in the family's company after sunday dinner and have his hand rubbing up and down his g/f thigh and she would be doing the same to him. Then he would get his index finger and run it round her lips and in her mouth while she recipricated........slabbers and all. We were married at this point and still wouldn't be affectionate with each other in front of his mum and dad. All this was in full view of me and matt and his mum and dad. I remember it distinctly cos it was Christmas time and the 'Sound of Music' was on TV . (the sound of heavy petting was on the sofa). It makes me wonder..........(If they were doing that in front of us, what were they doing when we weren't there?") hmmm............ His brother ended up going to MTS in Surrey, England and had to leave the girlfriend for a while. We all travelled down to see his graduation and went to the house of the bro./sis he had been staying with. Him and his g/f obviously missed each other and duly started demonstrating this in front of his shocked hosts. The sis. came in and told his mum that she wasn't at all pleased. When his mum got a hold of him to tell him off she came back and told matt that ....."yeah, I noticed that Paul had an erection" . Nothing more was said.
Sorry for the long post, but I'm so bitter about it. I dislike his brother immensely. He is so smug , self righteous, arrogant and pious. Even now he's the congregaton peacock, always has been.........without the 'pea'. I better stop now before I get carried away and say what I really think. I'm not usually like this.