What Was The Very First Thing That Came Across Your Eyes That Lead You Down The Road To Doubt?

by Yizuman 94 Replies latest jw friends

  • independent_tre

    @ Coffee - thanks for sharing again. I actually bookmarked your experience from before because I have young children myself and found the whole don't play with the neighborhood kids ( or anyone children whose parents are weak in the cong. for that matter) over the top. I did not want my kids to end up social outcasts.

    What woke me up? Arguing online with someone who asked me if I really followed the dictates men or God. That person asked me about Russell and Rutherford and I was embarrased as I had no idea who they were. Also, all of the prophecy nonsense in the Revelation, Isaiah and other books that had no scriptural backing, or the scriptures seems stretched to say the least. I remember being at the literature counter and a sister asking me if I'd gotten my new copy of the Revelation book for the upcoming book study. I'd had one from years ago, so I figured I didn't need another one. At this she said,

    "No you can't use that Revelation book, you need a new one, with the changes." Needless to say, I was like...

    dorayakii said: Haha, yeah it's funny how you do something to "bolster your faith" which then has the opposite effect. That's why the society discourages us from looking into things too deeply.

    This is sooo true. I actually set out to prove to myself that my JW faith was the 'correct' one. Lots of research and reading various translations of the bible. Look where it led me, straight out of the organization.

  • Mattieu

    I supressed to many matters for too long a time, so once I started digging the floodgates opened up, my experiences/doubts and memories as a young child (born in) to a grown man with young children all came back and thus began the fade.....

    Thanks to the JWD site and Lady Lee's best of, I got to research my major concerns: the understanding of 1914 generation/blood issues/UN and organisation structure. I am still learning new things every day which convince me more and more that I am on the right path. Though like an earlier poster mentioned, I too look into my childs eyes and know now that in an medical emergency I would not refuse a blood transfusion for my children, yet 10 years ago I would have taken a stand.

    The internet has let a lot of us research our "doubts" and make up our own minds and not some committee... Mattieu

  • no more kool aid
    no more kool aid

    So many things like Noah didn't make sense as a child, but as a born in there is no way to process your doubts. Then there was 1975. Lack of love/ drama and thinking it's just me or the congregation I'm in, come to find out they are all the same. Pedophile cases and having one right in our own congregation.

  • Satans little helper
    Satans little helper

    beards.... odd I know but follow my thinking on this.

    In the 80's there was a load of noise about how you wouldn't get used in the cong if you had a beard. It was clearly a case of making up rules outside of what is in the bible and was down to the opinions of men. This was clearly in contravention of the last verse of Revelation and also quite akin to what the pharisees were doing in the time of Christ. So if the GB were making it up according to their own opinions then it is clearly all a load of rubbish. Then I started looking more closely at other rules and regulations and it all unravelled.

  • siy

  • jookbeard

    only Dubs to survive Armageddon and that the WTS was the only religious organization selected by God after the 1919 debacle

  • dorayakii

    @ no more kool aid - Noah's flood also troubled me a lot as a child. During the weekly family study, I once asked my father why the baby in the Bible Story book had to drown, and he gave me an unsatisfactory answer about children under a certain age falling under the culpability of their parents because they're too young to make their own decisions. When I asked him if I would be killed at Armageddon if he and my mother became sinful I don't remember him giving a straight answer, and I was young enough to be bamboozled into silence and just accept that what he said was right. It wasn't until recently that I remembered that incident.

    Another thing that bothered me about the Organization as a child was the obsession with demons; and my father was a big demon fanatic even though he came across as a very logical, level-headed man. He scared me once by dramatically announcing that he could feel a demonic presence in the house, pretending to search for something then "finding" my school-library copy of Roald Dahl's "The Witches" and proceding to burn it on the bonfire outside. In part of my brain I realised that Roald Dahl was an innocent children's author, but I was still terrified of demons and any "spiritistic" book titles for a good while after that. It wasn't until years later that I realised that he must have seen the book in my see-through bookbag as I brought it home from school.

  • recovering

    I was a teenager and the absalute control that the wtbs insisted on was what finally did it for me. Because of familly reasons I had to stay a jw till i was older , however I knew that they where not gods organazation. It was not untill I was an adult (in my 20's) that I learned about all the flip flops. The faulty science that they presented also bothered me.

  • Alco Cop
    Alco Cop

    In 1973 (02/15 wt) being a law enforcement officer is a matter of personal decision based on an individuals bible trained conscience and in fact the Society referenced the bible saying that Romans 13 gave earthly governments the authority to police and therefore "no scriptural objection" could be raised. Corporate made a decision based on the bible and I respect that. In 1978, after a lot of thought and prayer I excercised my bible trained conscience and started on a career path in the Law Enforcement profession. In 1983 (07/15 wt) being a law enforcement officer, required to carry a firearm, is unexemplary and I had six months to quit my career or I would not be, well, exemplary (no more being able to read the publications at meetings or represent the congregation in prayer or pioneer, etc). I didn't quit and so the local and area congregations gave a "marking" talk in the congregations to warn the Bro & Sisters of my errant way. Corporate evidently didn't like having law enforcement officers in their organization and basically said, It's not in the bible but WE think it's a bad idea to have a job where you must carry a weapon and so you'll knock it off... Because we say so! THIS was The Very First Thing That Came Across My Eyes That Led Me Down The Road To Doubt? In 2005 (11/01 wt) being a law enforcement officer, if you are required to carry a firearm, is reprehensible. Evidently too many Brothers & Sisters were using their bible trained consciences instead of blindly following the WTBS Inc.'s policy memos. I'm still not quitting my as a state police investigator and so the local and area congregations gave another "marking" talk in the congregations to warn the Bro & Sisters of my continued failure to obey the Society's direction. Because I am a Police Investigator, my conduct is reprehensible... Corporate (WTBS Inc) is making up rules and policy, not based on the bible but, based on a majority vote of the GB. This is What Led Me Down The Road To Doubt?

  • homeschool

    Thank you Coffee..... And thanks to everyone's comments! I left 12 years ago because it didn't feel right to be acting the way they made me act. Now, I have literal proof in writing as well. I'm glad I found this site

Share this