You know we really have to reasonable about this, it’s very hard for people who really hate something to be objective about it Comparing growing up as a witness to being abused is harsh and incredibly unfair, I’d dare say that the kid who gets his ass kicked by has dad would trade that in for some field service and a convention or five. Not everyone that grew up a witness is damaged goods, not everyone was sexually molested or endlessly bullied at school, why do some of you fail to see that? Just because it didn’t work for you doesn’t mean that it’s the same for others.
Is it possible for a child to be exposed to JWism and not be damaged by it?
by Mickey mouse 140 Replies latest jw experiences
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beksbks
I stand by my previous comments.
Ignorance is bliss.
The simpler the machine, the easier to fix.
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purplesofa
Lola,
you comments never cease to amaze me!
purps -
lola28
What? I have a valid point, the fact that you don't agree with me is another matter.
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sammielee24
You know we really have to reasonable about this, it’s very hard for people who really hate something to be objective about it Comparing growing up as a witness to being abused is harsh and incredibly unfair, I’d dare say that the kid who gets his ass kicked by has dad would trade that in for some field service and a convention or five. Not everyone that grew up a witness is damaged goods, not everyone was sexually molested or endlessly bullied at school, why do some of you fail to see that? Just because it didn’t work for you doesn’t mean that it’s the same for others.
First not everybody who comments isn't objective - most are. Not everybody who comments hates the organization. Comparison to abuse is not only fair it's entirely rational and reasonable based on the fact that emotional and mental abuse occur as a result of extreme pressure to conform or be expelled and die. Fear is fear. Fear of getting one's ass kicked by dad can be overcome once one leaves home because dad no longer lives with you. Fear of dying if you leave the organization, fear of dying if you step outside the box, fear of losing your family if you don't agree, fear of life and people in the world ....that fear doesn't go away if you stay in the society but leave him.
From one who got their ass kicked and is living with one who was raised as a Witness - the ass kicking was easier for me to overcome than the guilt, loss, fear and betrayal from a being raised and living inside the society. sammieswife.
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Scarred for life
I was raised as a JW and I feel that I was mentally and emotionally abused. I lived in fear for most of my first 15 years. I was made to isolate myself from children my own age. The cult tried to teach me that everyone outside the JWs was wicked and "worldly" and a bad influence and I would surely not make it into "The New World"if I had "worldly" friends. If I feel that I was abused then I was and no one can tell me that I wasn't. If you don't feel that you were abused then GOOD FOR YOU, but you can't tell anyone else how they should feel.
And though it may not seem like it from the way I write on here, I have lived a very good adult life. I have 2 college degrees. I have had 2 different careers. I'm married to a very loving and patient man who is well-educated and I have great in-laws. I have 3 very different children that are my pride and joy. I have friends that are more precious to me everyday. I enjoy cooking, reading, watching movies and following the stock market and other financial news.
I live a happy, comfortable life because I left the JWs when I was 15 and I have blazed my own trail pretty much alone and without family support. I haven't seen a JW from the congregations I grew up in in at least 30 years and I don't miss a damn one of them.
But I still have anger about the way I was raised and the handicaps that it put on me. I do not feel that I had a happy childhood and I believe that the biggest factor in the breakdown of our family and our inablilty to ever be close was the JW history.
I believe the purpose of this forum is for each of us to write about our experiences and express our feelings. This forum is the ONLY place I have to talk about all this because I don't know any JWs anymore. They are long gone from my life but I have discovered especially in the past year that they still haunt my mind.
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BabaYaga
Well said, Scarred. Bravo and agreed.
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Lady Lee
Lola
You know we really have to reasonable about this, it’s very hard for people who really hate something to be objective about it Comparing growing up as a witness to being abused is harsh and incredibly unfair, I’d dare say that the kid who gets his ass kicked by has dad would trade that in for some field service and a convention or five. Not everyone that grew up a witness is damaged goods, not everyone was sexually molested or endlessly bullied at school, why do some of you fail to see that? Just because it didn’t work for you doesn’t mean that it’s the same for others.
As a person who was physically abused before the JWs and during; as a person who was sexually abused before the JWs and during I say you are wrong and here is why. Being beaten by my father and mother (both pre-JW) was a parental attack. I thought that was how all kids were raised. The welts and bruises disappear only to be replaced wiith new ones. I got beat because I did something wrong. I'm not justifying it merely attempting to say how I saw it back then. I was sexually abused before the JWs and there was justice of sorts when my father got reported to the police and was arrested. As a result of that abuse he lost custody of all 4 of his children. Then my parents separated and my mother started studying with the JWs. Getting beaten as a JW kid was not just my parent discipling me. It was God telling her to beat us black and blue. In fact the law of the land prevented her from doping what the Bible told parents to do. Stone them to death if they did not listen. WOW The law of the land was the only thing that kept me alive. Being sexually abused as a JW kid meant no protection from an abuser. He got off scot free while his victims were not only sent out of the family but out of the privince - hundreds of miles away with little or no contact with our mothers (my aunt and I - she was my age and we had the same abuser) He was NOT reported to the authorities. The abuse was covered up to protect not innocent child victims but an organization. Screw the kids -- quite literally. And that too was done in the name of God. To protect the name of God. And to add insult to injury far too many were told to be quiet about it or risk being disciplined themselves. When the name of God is used to invoke blind, unquestioning and fear-inspired obedience that is simply another form of abuse. It hurts. It hurts on a level that goes deeper than family. It damages the relationship with God. How does a little kid continue to believe in a loving God that allows, condones and tolerates the abuse of children and prefers to silence the victims to protect Himself. This little kid found it very hard to believe in that kind of a God. THAT is the damage. No not all JW kids went through what I did. That goodness. But the fear was still there, The fear of doing something so bad that you could lose not only your friends but your family and even your God. JW kids live with the constant fear of being caught doing something they will be disciplined for. Most kids didn't have to worry about their friends or their family turning them in to a judicial committee who would be permitted to interrogate them until they decided their fate. Most kids don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing or doing some trivial thing that could get them into trouble. And it would be GOD that would exact punishment. Cults are harsh places to live even for the adults. When the adults add that extra layer on their kids it is abuse. Spiritual abuse. It doesn't damage us all in the same way. Some kids had good parents in spite of being JWs. Some didn't
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BabaYaga
Bravo, Lady Lee! I don't think that anyone can tell the tale quite like that. I am so very sorry you had those experiences, but indeed, you are one of the rare ones who can really compare these abusive situations. Yes, being raised a good little Jehovah's Witness is abuse. Thank you for your perspective.
Love,
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Homerovah the Almighty
Fear, pent up anxiety, hatred, embarrassment, arrogance, boredom, pessimism, depression these are just some of the emotional experiences
that a typical JW child suffers during their growing informative years and I wouldn't wish that on any child.