Give me a reason not to have an affair/one night stand (page 5)

mtsgrad

Brother Apostate

"Make no mistake about this: You can never make a fool out of God. Whatever you plant is what you'll harvest. If you plant in the soil of your corrupt nature, you will harvest destruction. But if you plant in the soil of your spiritual nature, you will harvest everlasting life." - Galatians 6:7-8

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. - 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

BA- Take it seriously.

Are you serious? If you take the Bible at its word, men and woman have done far worse and have been forgiven. A one night stand after 7 yrs seems kinda reasonable to me. If God punishes me for this then I would not wanna serve him.

I do hope you were joking
Appreciate your humour

mtsgrad

mtsgrad

Ferret

It is impossible to be a set up by my wife. My wife does not have the nous to organise that and my other woman is not in the UK!

mtsgrad

loosie

Karma

sweetstuff

I'm more worried about why you stayed so long in a sexless marriage and tolerated that "relationship" than should you or should you not get it on with someone new. Maybe you should seek some counselling as to why you tolerated it before jumping head first into another emotional tailspin. It might just be sex but dump the emotional baggage first before you jump on Booty Airline.

undercover

"Make no mistake about this: You can never make a fool out of God...

I wouldn't worry about that so much...but your wife could make a fool out of you if she uses it against you during the divorce proceedings. That right there is the main reason for not having an affair. Even if the marriage is doomed, do not give her a reason to rake you over the coals in court.

Wait until the papers are drawn up and signed. Then move on with your life as you see fit.

Scully

You've waited 7 sexless years in an unhappy marriage.

You are in the midst of divorce proceedings.

Your ex-wife is trying to take you to the cleaners.

I would recommend waiting a little longer for the following reasons:

1) a few more months of abstinence is not going to hurt you, and waiting until you are totally "free and clear" legally will (hopefully) make your intended future partner see you as being honourable, not just using her for meeting your intimacy needs.

2) starting a physical relationship with another partner will distract you from the divorce proceedings and may compel you to make decisions that you might regret later.

3) your ex-wife will (if she discovered an "affair") have more reason to be vindictive and drag out the proceedings and attempt to make matters worse for you financially.

Technically, I don't consider embarking on a new relationship when it is clear that the previous one is dead and is coming to an end "an affair". It is "moving on with your life." That's a healthy thing. But to refer to it as an "affair" makes me wonder whether you are focused mostly on "getting laid" as opposed to developing a healthy long-lasting relationship with someone you care about.

Jim_TX

Here's my .02 worth... for what it's worth.

IF

1) You are already living seperate, and

2) You have filed for divorce, then

... you are already on the path to being single again. Any 'fornication/adultry' talk is JW-BS.

Just be fore-warned. If your soon-to-be ex is still a good-lil JW, she (and a second witness) will hound you to the edge of he...ck - to get you to 'confess' that you had 'relations' - just so she can be 'free to re-marry'. On this - I speak from experience.

Of course - she will do this no matter if you are divorced- or not... so it's 'D' if you do and 'D' if you don't.

As a side note. She will probably get re-married within a year of your divorce.

Good Luck,

Jim TX

stillajwexelder

your own self respect?

mtsgrad

Sweetstuff

Thanks for your input.

I have had counselling in the past and have just started it again recently after a short break. To answer your question, I was abused as a child. I spent my life growing up not realsing that parents were there to support you. Parents were people who would stick with you thru thick and thin. Family would be a place of support. So when I got married, when things did not work out I did not realise that certain behaviours were not acceptable. As a good witness I did not get counselling. When my cousellor first spoke to me her jaw hit the ground. She said most people had an issue or two to resolve. I had every element of my life in a state of crisis for many years.

I am not going to live a wild life now, but feel that the warmth of someone who cares about me would not end the world.

But i still appreciates the reservation that a number of you have.

mtsgrad

sweetstuff	Re: Re: Re: Give me a reason not to have an affair
Post 2725 of 2725 since 14-Aug-07 36 y 10 m 4 d	I'm more worried about why you stayed so long in a sexless marriage and tolerated that "relationship" than should you or should you not get it on with someone new. Maybe you should seek some counselling as to why you tolerated it before

Awakened at Gilead

I guess every marriage and every divorce is different. You need to CYA legally for the divorce papers.... if your soon to be ex knows that you are leaving and you have someone else, I daresay that it is an affair... but I would not recomend it while you are under the same roof. Things could get violent, although I don't know what she would be jealous about, she hasn't given you the marital DUE in 7 years...

In my case, my divorce was somewhat amicable... we are stil friends... I spoke to her for about 30 minutes today...

But I was opne with her about my feelings... we were already discussing separation and divorce for 4 years, and I was open with her when I decided to start a new relationship with an ExJW. I moved out, and gave my ex Biblical grounds right away... but I made sure that the divorce was not on those grounds...

So I guess much depends on your wife. I was open with mine, and she appreciated that. I was not going to sleep around behind her back.

But I certainly no longer buy into the Bible's morality BS as BA likes to quote. Heck if Bible standards were really applied to Bible characters, then we wouldn't be left with too many righteous people, would we?

Give me a reason not to have an affair/one night stand

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