Give me a reason not to have an affair/one night stand

by mtsgrad 125 Replies latest jw friends

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    Newborn

    Thanks for your input. After 7 very miserable years and the first year was not much better I feel I will have no regrets. Jah is not going to strike me down. My missus could try and slow down the divorce and I'll just get angrier. Life is too short just to sit and watch it go by. I am leaning towards going for it.
    Big cheers

    Paul

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    I think the biggest risk is in undermining your self image as you go into a divorce situation. You've come this far, why not discipline yourself to see it through? If it came out during the divorce or immediate aftermath would it blur the picture for those who's opinion you care about. Another thing is the circumstances of the "affair"... is it just meaningless coupling? Is the other person going to take it as a commitment that perhaps you are not ready for? Is it a revenge F---? Lots of things to consider that could complicate your life for a long time. Only you know the details but I would tend to advise you to keep things as simple as possible at this time.

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    Finally-Free

    So did you have an affair. PM me if you wish. Any regrets?

    mtsgrad

  • lola28
    lola28

    Don’t have an affair so that you can at least say that you were honorable enough to maintain a promise that you made and that you never willfully did anything to hurt someone that you once must have loved. Once you are divorced go nuts and do whatever you want to but if you’ve been without for seven years I’m sure you can suck it up for a few more months.

  • wings
    wings

    are you free?

    spiritually? emotionally?

    Are you listening to your own morality? To you...YOU....what is the reason not to?

    wings

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    Gregor

    Thanks for your observations.

    Undermining my self image?
    Unclear what you mean. As an adult I can and will live with my decision.

    Discipline
    I would suggest that 7 years is more than discipline!

    Meaningless
    Absolutely. There is everychance I will never meet this woman again (unless I choose to).

    Revenge
    Excellent point. You have got me thinking. I think there has to be an element of that, just unclear how much.

    Keep it simple
    The way I see it Gregor is life is short and the world will not end over one or two i ndiscretions.

    Cheers

    mtsgard

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    Have divorce papers already been drawn up? Has one of you already moved out of the house? Does you soon-to-be ex know that you are really divorcing?

    If yes, then I think the status of the other person would play a bigger role at this point.

    Do you have someone in mind?

    If so, is *that* person married or in a committed relationship??

    -Aude.

  • undercover
    undercover

    If the marriage is completely over except for having a piece of paper saying it's over I wouldn't think that hooking up with someone would constitute "having an affair".

  • hillbilly
    hillbilly

    "To thy self be true"... this is your judgement about yourself... If you think you should do it... if you think you shouldnt dont. If your actions create complication you probably know the risks going in.

    "nuff said

    Jeff

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    Lola

    So that I can say that I was honourable?
    What about my wife being honourable. Since I have faded I have lost every person I loved. I have no one who cares about my honour.

    Hurt my wife
    What has my wife been doing for 7 years (I was and am not the perfect husband, but lets be reasonable here).

    Go nuts afterwards?
    I just feel I have nothing to lose. Knowing my luck I will get run over on the morning of the affair!

    Thanks

    mtsgrad

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