Thanks for the update.
JW Mom killed in house
thanks for the update.
Wonder how long this POS is going to last in prison?
I have to say something.
Just because you see your friend smile, does not necessarily mean everything is alright.
Take the above case: Husband is an elder. Takes you on his boat. Offers you a cold beer on a hot day. So that makes him a good guy?
Wife appears happy, confident and smiling. What does that prove? Wife is dead. Elder husband in prison for her murder.
I wrote to a few close friends almost 2 years ago now, that if my daughter and I turn up dead, her father, my husband, an elder at the time, did it.
Do any of you, that are afraid of your husband, (elder, ms, pub or not even a JW) understand Stockholm Syndrome? You have been abused so much, put down so much, yelled and screamed at so much, by a controlling psychopath, that you are unable to flee?
My husband would rage and act crazy towards us. He is extremely strong. We were on guard. We felt he wanted to kill us. When my daughter and I discussed how to protect ourselves, I told her, I will face him and stall him off and she must promise me to run out the door, not look back and hide.
She told me, no mom, I won't leave you with him, we will fight together. We started that day looking around the house for things not too heavy for us to pick up.
She is 3rd generation on both sides, so that means, obviously, I am 2nd. We both know how to put on the kingdom smile when we are out. We do not know how to defend ourselves physically or verbally. The WTB&TS mentality is not to do or say anything to cause shame on Jehovah or his organization. Not to hurt anyone.
But, I had to do something. Two and 1/2 years ago, I arranged for 2 elders to come to our house. My husband (unaware of what was going to unfold) my daughter and I, there as witness to his abuse. My daughter and I feeling safe in the protection of 2 loving shepherds (appointed by the same holy spirit that appointed & kept my husband an elder for 40 years) talked. When the elders left, the door was shut, my husband turned to me and said, "Well, I guess thats it for the elders school". Then looking right at me said, "There will be repercussions".
That is all I can say right now. My daughter and I live together but apart from our abuser. He's at the hall commenting. The elders think I am a liar and trouble maker. I am fading.
OMG. I hope you are alright. Can you not get a protective order against him. I hope he doesn't know where you live or where either of you work. There is a danger of him confronting you when you are not aware. Please be
careful and contact the police. You can not trust this type of person. You need to do more than fade. I am worried about you.
Panhandlegirl>>>You have a PM
Lois, I went through the same thing. My JW husband was fishing buddies with all the elders. He hit me and threatened my life. He kept a gun on the night stand by our bed filled with hollow tip bullets, cop killers, is what he called them.
The elders didn't beleve me that I was afraid for my life. I got a restraining order and moved out and the elders told me I was wrong for doing that and was bringing shame upon Jehovah's name. They told me I was vengefull and aggressive for taking my furniture and belongings that I had brought into the marriage with me when I left. They told me I should have called them instead of the police when he hit me. They questioned me about why, if I was so terrified of him, would I actually make my fears public? Like I must be lying, and if I was truly afraid, I would keep quiet and maybe he would never act on his threats. How ridiculous their reasonling was. (after all, they were his fishing buddies, they know him so much better than I do, being his wife and all.)
Go get a restraining order or move as far away as possible. Make it widely known that he is purposely intimidating you. Your life and possibly your daughter's life is at stake. Do not sit and wait. Take action.
Lois. Your problem is not uncommon. Document. Document. Document. Whenever you have a problem with him call 911. Try to type up your past experience into a clear 2 page report with dates, times, places and witnesses, so even a low IQ cop can follow the case. Get a temporary restraining order. This will give you a paper trail. Was your daughter abused? Have her do the same. Perhaps statute of limitations has not expired for past incidents.
A $10 can of Pepper Spray is very helpful. A trainable dog like a German Shepard is great company and protection. Do not expect help from JW elders. If they do not protect children, why would they protect an adult woman? You will have to take charge of your own safety. Local womens shelters have great resources for group therapy and self protection classes.
Be strong. Hugs from the Mrs and I.
WHERE IS YOUR MOTHERLY INSTINCTS?
A well placed .38 special round will end any attempts on your daughters life!
I feel sorry for what you have been through but my heart broke when you mentioned your instructions to your daughter about running while you stalled. What a victim! I am sorry, but you have to be a mother first and a battered woman or confused JW second. You know this man is a threat to your safety and you want to play house, that's your biz. When your child is involved there should be no question.
I say this out of love and respect and hope you realize how serious this situation is. I am not trying to make you look dumb, just trying to shake you and wake you up sista!
I am glad you are away from him and now you must cut him out completely. Follow the legal system, arm and train yourself how to use a firearm properly and legally, but do not depend on other's to help or even understand. You need to use that bone God gave you that you head sits on, your spine!
P.S. Definately get some counseling too, it will help you heal.
Lois L, You have a pm