Your most memorable Kingdom Hall meeting disruptions!

by easyreader1970 109 Replies latest jw friends

  • mamalove

    Hilarious thread.

    I remember an announcement about someone "clandestinely" decorating the KH. No one ever knew who it was, but clocks would be hung up mysteriously, new fake flowers, paintings, etc. Very weird. They mysteriously vanished then.

    This made me think of all the times I struggled to keep my kids quiet, and when the PO would tell my MS husband to keep our kids more quiet. Luckily we had lots of little ones at our KH and it was always a party in the mothers room.

    Apostates would come, and different brothers would sit apart from their families to tackle them if need be.

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    Singing Bible verses is quite common in Roman Catholic, Anglican and Orthodox churches. The Psalms are usually sung. It can be so beautiful. I wondered what melody the brother sang. Was it a Beatles tune? It must have taken courage or something else entirely.

    I volunteered at an Anglican cathedral and have much more riveting stories about chaos. People walking poodles down the aisle as though everyone walks a dog down a cathedral aisle. Santierra, voodo candles. Homeless living in the church proper. The vodoo candles really bothered me. I asked the dean's permission to remove them. I thought a special service should be held with much incense and chanting to make the space sacred again. He told me God could handle it. After my fear of demons, my political correctness was depleted. I spoke with the paid staffers that of course God could take it. God takes extreme poverty , hungry, Holocausts, floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, the list is endless. I said can Janice take it? What about ordinary people coming in , can they take it? I agreed with the Dean completely. Demon fear won that score. I noticied that the candles disappeared mysteriously the next day.

    Overall, people were handled with dignity. Some offhand comments were made about mentally ill people which someone else immediately corrected.

    The WT stories are so funny b/c of the seriousness of the Witnesses. Also, I never was bored in an Anglican church the way I was bored in Witness meetings. Time stopped-- just as in the OT story. I always identified with Puritnan children. My mom let me bring my doll Suzette to the KH when I was three or four. An old family friend talked to me as though she were real which delighted me. She was told never again. My sister was two and brushed the seat in front of her at a convention with her chubby legs. A Bethelite sitted next to us with his girlfriend took off his belt and handed it to my mom. My mom made a fake motion and returned the belt. I could not believe my eyes and ears!

  • Nobleheart

    During a public talk the speaker fainted once due to hypoglycemia or heat shock or w/e and he collapsed in front of the microphone stand, the entire thing fell in the floor. People rushed through to give him help, whether resuscitation, water, sugar and he came back to himself. But the talk couldn't be resumed so we skipped to the WT study.

    The unbelieving, abusive husband of a sister came right into a meeting once. She hadn't told him where she'd be going, and had gone to the meeting in secret. He found out where she was sitting, got hold of her by the hair and gave her a couple of slaps. Needless to say everyone was horrified and shocked. He was taken out of the meeting by two brothers who almost got beat by the guy.

  • jam

    A guy walk in at the Circuit Ass., he sat down and within A few minutes

    he got up and move too another seat. He repeated this about six times,

    creating A disruptions (the sunday talk). I was working security so about

    the 7th time when he stood up too move once again I approach him and

    ask may I speak with you, so as we were walking out with three of the

    brothers walking behind us, the man turn too me and ask, when will

    James Brown perform, it,s this the James Brown show.

  • Violia

    I really would liked to have heard the man sing .

    My uncle used to wear tennis shoes with his suit. He'd sit on isle seat and fall alseep and nearly fall out of his seat. We'd all laugh at him. We also had a Brother Payne in the Rear too. I loved when they pronounced shite as sh*tty. That was just lol funny.

    Saw a sister try and attack a very attractive sister who had been DF and reinstated. The sister hated her b/c she was still pretty and had not got fat and ugly as a punishment from Jehovah. Her hubby dragged her out of the assembly hall with her yelling " it is not fair for her to look like that when I have been faithful" (she herself was fat) Wow and is all I could say. The attractive sister just walked on. lol

    Saw a sister stick a pencil in her ear and the brother on the platform laugh out loud. Not sure why she did that, maybe her ear itched.

    maybe more later.

  • d

    I once saw somebody throw up right behind me.Let me tell you that was gross let me tell I almost threw up myself after seeing that.

  • im stuck in
    im stuck in

    had a guy giving a talk just fall over dead. It was not funny everyone had a fit and they ended the meeting.

  • Scott77

    marked for later

  • FirstLastName

    I recall one meeting were a elder was giving a talk. He was acting very strange and was sluring his words. After he sat down the meeting continued.

    There happened to be a DF'd young man in the audience that was an EMT. He went over to the elder who had been sluring his talk and then after a brief chat ran out of the hall. The DF'd man called 911 cause the elder was having a stroke, and because he was an EMT, he reconized the signs.

    An abmulance was called and they came in and layed him on the gurney and wheeled him out.

    The super strange thing is that - the meeting continued while all this was happening! The elder on the stage kept talking and the stunned people in the audience were watching what happening. I am sure that everyone felt weird - as I did - cause of everything that was going on around us. But the brother on stage just refused to stop. We were probably being lead in song while the guy was wheeled out.

    I think a brief pause was in order....but what did I know - I was a lowley sister.

    I also recall a funny episode when the bookstudy was at my house when I was growing up. A newly interesting person was visiting and started speaking in tongues and my dad who was the bookstudy conductor had to tell her to shut up.

  • Smoky

    Good Stuff. i have one thats quite strange, but i thought funny.

    Back when i used to go to the spanish meeting. There was this brother that insisted he place his ice cream cart inside the kingdom hall during meeting (that was the only way he can make the meetings from work), and so no one can steal ice cream. Well he soon got DF (dont know why, apostacy i think) and will continue to go to the meeting with his ice cream cart...Well this time during the Sunday talk, he barged in and sat down in the back all sweaty and dirty, took his shoes off and placed them on top of a chair...stinking up the place. they asked him to stop he refused. Then all hell broke loose, 3 brothers dragged his ass to the restroom (it was closer than the EXIT). everyone was in awe! Mean while the Talk continued, we can here all the banging in the restroom, until cops came to drag his ass out... he never went back.

    I remember being shocked as a teen.

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