Why do I feel like I'm losing my wife to this website?

by sarabi 104 Replies latest jw friends

  • SirNose586

    Hi Sarabi!

    Thanks for sharing your concerns about this site. I wish you the best in communicating with your wife, cognac. There's much for you to read, so I will just say, I used to be an MS but stopped when I found out what happens to people who question the organization. When I did the same, I was nearly df'd, or given the choice to da. All I wanted to do was step down as an MS and give up my privileges, but they felt the need to silence me.

    As nice as the people are, I know that they are not allowed to tolerate people with questions, which is why I have to hide this site from my friends and family.

    If questions and freedom of thought were allowed in the organization, I wouldn't have to do any of that.....

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead


    Welcome to the site. My situation is similar to your family, except that it is my wife who is not happy about me being on this site. I commend you for at least checking the site out, which my wife refuses to do. Cognac is not hiding anything from you, since all of her posts are publicly available to read... just click on her profile. I am not DA'd or Df'd, merely an irregular publisher who no longer goes to meetings. So you won't be communicating with an "official" apostate by reading this or responding.

    I have a few points to add. I am a very new member of this site, since I just came to my conclusions about a month ago. I was an elder for 7 years, I was a special pioneer for 5 years, a bethelite for close to 3 years, and I went through Gilead and served in Latin America for about a year and a half.. What really helped me to wake up (Similar to Snake's experience) was my Gilead training. We went thriogh the whole Bible and scores of Society's publications and teachings that I had no idea about.

    2 points I had trouble accepting (since Gilead), which led to the unraveling of everything else:

    1. The 1914 issue: The 607 BCE start date was already mentioned on another post. I was not aware of that issue, but my concern with the date was from my Biblical study of Daniel. If you compare the 7 times prophecy with the 70 weeks prophecy, you will note some differences. The 70 weeks prophecy is very specific.. It explains the start date, the length of time, and the result (the messiah will come at 69 weeks and will be cut off in the middle of the week.) This prophecy is straightforward. However, the 7 times prophecy in Dan Ch 4 is about Nebuchadnezzar. It is a stretch to apply it to 7 Gentile Times. If this is the most important prophecy that we need to base our faith and hope on, then why didn't Jehovah just write that from the destruction of Jerusalem to the installation of the messaih as king there will be 7 times. That would be brief and would follow the pattern in Dan Ch 9. After weighing the arguments in the society's publications I came to the conclusion that Ch4 is merely talking about Nebuchadnezzar, and not God's soveriegnty.

    2. The faithful slave class - Who really is the faithful slave? My stepfather is of the anointed, and I asked him recently if the GB had ever contacted him about anything, and he responded that they had not. In fact, they do not even know who he is!!! Besides this anecdote, my experience at Bethel and Gilead showed me that the majority of the information that is printed by the organization is prepared by brothers who are of the "other sheep." So this means that the "other sheep" are producing most of the information that is read by JWs worldwide, including the anointed that are in the field! So how is it that the GB represent the rest of the anointed and feed them as if they are the domestics - if the feeding is being done primarily by the O.S?This realization helped me to see that the WTS is not following the Biblical model they claim to follow, and something is "off" with their model.

    These and other points that I began to question, such as the concept of the "other sheep" (John 10:16), "the Lord's Day" (Rev1:10) and others led me to realize that I did not believe in the major tenets of JWs, and this led me to find this site.

    Please don't feel we are anti-JWs. Even the really bad "apostate" Ray Franz writes in his books that he doesn't support Watchtower bashing or picketing. I have found great support on this board which I need to maintain my sanity.

    Take care.

    [email protected]

  • yknot


    Please be patient with us.........

    None of us want your marriage to be in facing rough seas.....

    Yes we want to help........

    Most of us are not anti-JWs .....anti-WTS, probably.

    Most of us are here because we experienced or see things going on within the WTS structure that goes against Jehovah.

    Perhaps the divisions are happening because the Slave is slaving for two masters.

    Perhaps it is Jehovah's will for the tower to fall, similar to the temple.

    Perhaps you and your wife can re-post her concerns on new threads and you can come to better understanding through dialog.

    We are praying for you both.

    Please seek guidance through prayer. Pray specifically for guidance, and acceptance of the guidance given by holy spirit through Jesus Christ on behalf of Jehovah.



  • searcher

    sarabi, welcome to the site.

    I am not, nor ever have been a member of any religious group or organisation but I have read this thread with interest, and also your wifes pots/threads.

    Something in your first post leapt out at me as I read and I would like to ask a couple of questions about it, if I may.

    you wrote;

    I feel that this is the main reason my wife comes here, so that she can express herself without feeling judged.

    Immediately followed by;

    I feel the elders are not here to judge us, but are here to help us.

    So who, in your opinion would judge your wife? The Elders? You? Other JW's? or someone else?

    And why would you believe they have the right to judge her?

  • JoyNichols
    Jehovah will correct it and make his congregation clean

    Sarabi, you suggest that no one should use this website to ferret out problems, but how do you know that Jehovah isn't using this forum to do just what you suggest - "make his congregation clean"? If the Society is no longer clean, then something cleaner must straighten it out.

  • JoyNichols
    Surely I can't be the only one who smells a rat?
    What do you mean? The IP address is the same as cognac's. MrFlipper has spoken with MrCognac?

    Has anyone met Mrs. Cognac?

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    Sarabi, be glad you're wife has shared as much as she has about her doubts. My husband knows nothing of my mental anguish, my coming here, and this site is my only friend right now. I cannot tell him for fear of exposure and losing my entire family.

    Please understand that people like me and cognac are between a rock and a hard place. I would love to take the blue pill and be put back in the matrix (to use an analogy) but it's too late. I've seen the man behind the curtain. I have to question how loving an organization is that does this to people.

  • slimboyfat

    A while ago on here we had a husband and wife team called Trevor and Linda who turned out to be fake. It is so good to have real people now instead.

  • cognac


    Two people now have asked about you joining this board way back in 2006.

    Could you address that? It seems important to me. It would seem you were
    curious well before your wife was.

    I will answer this. This was my account, I opened back in 2006. Never posted with this account. Created a new account when I came back here in 2008.

  • DJK


    Cognac has spoke of you and has strongly expressed how she feels about you. She does'nt want to lose you and she does'nt want you to give up on her.

    Many here are concerned for the two of you and hope you keep your marraige strong.

    As for her beliefs, there is nothing anyone can say that will sway her one way or the other. She will work it out and there is no hurry to do that. Be patient and understanding.


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