Hello sarabi - I'm not anti JW. I was raised up in "the truth" and spent 28 years being a faithful witness, doing the preaching work, giving talks, answering up and was strong. 3 years ago I decided to take my research further and do research on the actual religion I belonged too.
When I tried turning to the very ones I had grown up with, my family, the body of elders because things weren't tallying up - I got a very rude awakening - I was told in no uncertain terms to stop my research because I was going down the path of destruction. I even agreed to have a sister in very high standing study again with me, for us to go through each doctrine with ONLY THE BIBLE and not just the JW one - I"m talking various translations, a greek bible, a hebrew bible to get to the bottom of these discripensies - the sister couldn't prove anything to me.
My family "handed me over to the elders" and within in 6 months I was disfellowshipped. At my judictial committee I asked the very men I had grown up with why they treated me, their sister in the faith without much love - because surely if we were the true religion our love would shine through - I was told very plainly that it wasn't just love - it was our neutrality we were known for......I was told because I couldn't accept the organisation I was an apostate and that I had turned my back on Jehovah - I said thank you, got up and left, I never looked back, as I walked I sobbed my heart out because I knew it was Jehovah that had shown me HIS TRUTH according to HIM that made me leave. You see I had prayed to Jehovah without letup to show me his truth and he did.
I urge you and your wife to sit down together in your family unit and go through each doctrine. You love your wife very much and she loves you and I'm sure it's tearing you both apart to be at this crossroads - you don't need an organisation to make your relationship with God holy or acceptable. I will keep you in my prayers. Just be open to reason.
This place is a support forum for those that have been disfellowshipped and know the heartache of being shunned - that is purely a man made doctrine and christ did not teach it. The JWs need it in order to "shut up the mouths" of those that would speak the truth about the organisation.
Peace to you and may you find your hearts desire.